I saw an email about an update for Summer Shadows, and know it's definitely been too long since I read it to just pick up where I left off. So here I am starting again from the beginning. I know I'm going to love it all over again; followed you here from Quizzilla so long ago...
I just binge-read this story in a matter of days and now I hate you. I hate you for making me fall in love with a dead guy and I totally started crying when I read the last two chapters. Simon is a really fucking good character and so is Maggie. And you should know that this story is way too good to not be published in a book. I don't know if I want to try to read the sequel now cause I'm sure at some point that one will make me cry too.
(Comment Swap) Usually, I don't get into stories about ghosts, its really hard for me, actually. But this one was different; I liked the dynamic of Simon's and Maggie's relationship. Where, even though Simon was a jerk to Maggie (throwing books at her and the bruises on her arms and almost strangling her with her own necklace) he did genuinely care about her. And Maggie, in turn, where, to me, in the first few chapters, she seemed timid and trying to make everyone around her happy, no matter the cost to her or her own emotions. I'm not saying that I found Maggie to be completely selfish after Simon came into her life, but she did change. I don't think that she could have stood up to George or Felicia the way she did, if the conflict was presented in the first part of the story. To me it was a complete surprise about who orchestrated Simon's murder; I never would've guessed that it would be his own mother. The way she talked about him and Oliver in the previous chapters when she talked to Maggie about it...she shed her tears and mourned like everybody else. I have to say, that she had a very clever way of making sure it happened, and she never, once, got hr hands dirty. All in all, I think that it was a great story, and I'd definitely recommend it
To be honest, I had a hard time getting into the story based on the first chapter. The second chapter really caught my attention. I read somewhere that the best stories start with the conflict being shown in the first chapter - I feel like it was shown in the second chapter, but it really does capture your attention. I am yet to read a good story on this similar subject (speaking/seeing the dead) but I have hopes for this story and look forward to see where it's going. Simon's character is intriguing. I love the anger he feels towards being dead. Subscribed to finish reading. Recommended to others for the quality of work.
Okay, first off, I really do like the dialogue in this. The father/daughter dialogue actually felt a conversation between a parent and their child. It's something everyone can relate took, even though I personally never experienced any of this. I was never very social. The grieving family is also pretty realistic. We've all had a love one die, so we know how they feel and sometimes you really just want to say "Bullshit!" to people who know how you feel.
Second, I like how you write the internal dialogue of your protagonist. She comes across as believable, which is something I've been missing in stories. She has flaws and likeable and exactly how a protagonist should be written. Well done.
Expect me to read the rest of this.
P.S.: The title has some sexy alliteration going on.
Okay, first off, I really do like the dialogue in this. The father/daughter dialogue actually felt a conversation between a parent and their child. It's something everyone can relate took, even though I personally never experienced any of this. I was never very social. The grieving family is also pretty realistic. We've all had a love one die, so we know how they feel and sometimes you really just want to say "Bullshit!" to people who know how you feel.
Second, I like how you write the internal dialogue of your protagonist. She comes across as believable, which is something I've been missing in stories. She has flaws and likeable and exactly how a protagonist should be written. Well done.
Expect me to read the rest of this.
P.S.: The title has some sexy alliteration going on.
Your style is a refreshing deviation from the standard "1st person p.o.v, female protagonist" as her voice shone through your word choice and sentence variation.
You don't shy away from topics that most authors only glance over (e.g., the selfishness of many protagonists. It is overlooked as that is a flaw many don't care to admit to themselves.) Related, every line of dialogue and the protagonist's inner thoughts was unbelievably human and relatable.
I've read only the first chapter and I plan on reading this to its completion. Congratulations on such an immediately attractive story. It takes skill, my friend!
I only read the first chapter, but right away the dialogue made me feel like I was entering in the middle of some father- daughter argument. I thought that it was a great way to begin your story. However, I don't think the same words should be used at such a close range (Undeniable), unless there's some poetic repetition or alliteration.
I found the title very captivating, and I love the first person past tense. It's a good style to write stories in. I also enjoyed the reader connection made in the story, (while I was reading I was like, "Yeah," and "Totally agree"). It pulled me closer to the story.
The story has a nice plot, very good fluidity with the diction. What I thought was really well, was the characters. They are described with such ease and there are no lists of characteristics jumbled in a paragraph. Portrayed as they speak, who their friends and occupations are, how they carry themselves and certainly how Mags narrates. This is very well done. I loved this.
Lastly, that comment made by the boy, got me. It hit home and I was going "wow," as I read it because it's really a slap in the face to someone. nicely done.
I only read the first chapter, but right away the dialogue made me feel like I was entering in the middle of some father- daughter argument. I thought that it was a great way to begin your story. However, I don't think the same words should be used at such a close range (Undeniable), unless there's some poetic repetition or alliteration.
I found the title very captivating, and I love the first person past tense. It's a good style to write stories in. I also enjoyed the reader connection made in the story, (while I was reading I was like, "Yeah," and "Totally agree"). It pulled me closer to the story.
The story has a nice plot, very good fluidity with the diction. What I thought was really well, was the characters. They are described with such ease and there are no lists of characteristics jumbled in a paragraph. Portrayed as they speak, who their friends and occupations are, how they carry themselves and certainly how Mags narrates. This is very well done. I loved this.
Lastly, that comment made by the boy, got me. It hit home and I was going "wow," as I read it because it's really a slap in the face to someone. nicely done.
Right when I clicked onto the comment swap, I knew I would fall in love with this story. Even the title sounds catchy. Winter Wakes; it's flawlessly repetition.
When I began to read the summary, I felt even more pulled in. I love stories about the dead. I mean, I know I'm creepy but this story is just perfect. I also enjoy the fact that you put the word count as a subtitle for each chapter. In a way you are setting a goal for yourself each time you write.
Right when I clicked onto the comment swap, I knew I would fall in love with this story. Even the title sounds catchy. Winter Wakes; it's flawlessly repetition.
When I began to read the summary, I felt even more pulled in. I love stories about the dead. I mean, I know I'm creepy but this story is just perfect. I also enjoy the fact that you put the word count as a subtitle for each chapter. In a way you are setting a goal for yourself each time you write.
Right when I clicked onto the comment swap, I knew I would fall in love with this story. Even the title sounds catchy. Winter Wakes; it's flawlessly repetition.
When I began to read the summary, I felt even more pulled in. I love stories about the dead. I mean, I know I'm creepy but this story is just perfect. I also enjoy the fact that you put the word count as a subtitle for each chapter. In a way you are setting a goal for yourself each time you write.
I could only go as far and read only two chapters, but no matter how much I read, it's still good. I've never been inside a funeral home, but I bet it does smell of mothballs and heavy perfume. After reading about the funeral home, my head starting hurting! That's how good it was. Well, anyways, I'll read more when I have time. Toddles!
I've read your entire story and the only word I can use to describe it is: WOW. It's really incredible how structured and planned it was. Every action and emotion has a background and some sort of relatable connection. I simply love it. The way and pace your plot progresses is ideal to the average mibba reader. I enjoyed all of the twists and conflicts that you threw in there very much. Also the way that you introduced Maggie and Simon's relationship was really nice. You can bet that I recommended and subscribed to your sequel! Yes, from all of the comments you've gotten already, I can tell your story has been very popular. Haha and by ready these comments You know your story is just that great. Good luck on writing the sequel. I'm very much looking forward to it.