A Tale Of A Mermaid - Comments

Your story is pretty interesting.
But I agree with the comments above.
You should definitely correct your grammar mistakes, spelling, and the chat-speak.
It will definitely make the story better. (:

Hi. Ok I'm gonna be honest.
When I read the title I was intrigued. I've never seen a mermaid story on here, it looked like something different to read other than the fan fics that seem to be popping up everywhere.
But when I began reading the first chapter I was disappointed by the end of the sentence. The grammar is wrong, there's nothing descriptive, and the spelling is very average.
Now this story has potential but you need to edit it, and I mean start again.
Here are some tips:
-Write a draft /good copy in your computer 'Word Doc.', 'Text Edit' etc That way you have copies if anything happens to your internet and you can read through it.
- When a character is speaking use speech marks and write it like this;
Lisa entered the room with grace and allegiance.
"Who's she?" Whispered Mary.
"That's Princess Lisa" Mary continued to follow her movement as she greeted the guests, "she's the Kings only daughter, but don't be fooled by her beauty; she's ugly on the inside" Alex voice dripped with hate as he looked at the Princess wander the ball room.
Now see how that simple conversation turned into something more. It gives you a feel of what's going on around you but keeps the story going.
-Another tip is read through it at least twice maybe even more that way you can edit, add more, add less etc to the story; it'll be better of it.

Your story can be something different and good, I would hate to see it get taken off because of the mistakes.
I hope for the best.

You might want to work on your whole chat-speak thing. Also your spelling. Mibba has a cool feature where you can check your spelling. :D This isn't like Quizilla, here you have to write properly. Along with spelling out full words and writing complete sentences. I wouldn't want your story to get deleted. :D