Room 242 - Comments

Updated.

Wow.
Dru, I love your writing style. It's simply amazing, just like your stories.
This was amazing.

god, i get so emotional at this story, and i NEVER ever get close to tears at stories.
i nearly cried at pete's reaction.

oh my god, this is the story i've been waiting for, it's perfect.

I just finished chapters 2 and 3, it was amazing! It's getting better and better, amazing work!

This is brilliant... the way you write is great

No, I meant that.
We're aware of their hatred for Ryan, but he doesn't know how it's possible for a person to feel that type of hate at all, let alone for him.

I absolutely love this first chapter. Honey, that was amazing from beginning to end. When I read he had got raped, my month suddenly dropped so fast. I didn't see that coming at all. I thought Ryan was just being Ryan and having a good time one he couldn't remember.

He wasn’t even sure of his existence.
That line to me had so much meaning. I don't think I could had said that to myself or even think that.

Spencer nodded, feeling useless, stupid, and pathetic. They didn’t cover this part of rape in school. The how - to - help - your - best - friend - after - he’s - been - gang-raped - in - a - hotel - room part.
This line had it's seroius and hurmor moment. I love it.

Also, another then dear.
“They picked me.” he whispered. “They knew me. They hated me. How can a person hate that much, Spencer?

Do you mean me instead of that or is that how you wanted it? Overall.... you go girl. I think I love you right about now.

You, like this story, are simply amazing, Dru!
And that's all I have to say...

^
Thank you.

I liked how this chapter illustrated the different responses/relationships between Ryan and the other members of the band.
“Ryan,” Spencer began, licking his suddenly drip lips
You need to change that to "dry."

My favorite lines:

who had destroyed the sleeping boy so swiftly.

occasionally reaching out lightly touch his hair before quickly pulling his hand back, ashamed.

Was one of them supposed to follow him? If so, which one? Brendon, who had just held him? Spencer, who had been taking care of him since it happened? Jon, who hadn’t yet held him? All of them? Two of them? Which two?

Laughed. Ryan laughed. He smiled and laughed. Jon had made Ryan laugh.

Other than that, however, it seemed relatively normal to unaware eyes. Seemed. It wasn’t.

but he didn’t care. He was the one who got raped and if he wanted to go to a fucking restaurant and drop three hundred dollars then he was going to.

He thought they cried, rape victims. That’s how it always was on television and in movies. They cried and wouldn’t talk to people and were afraid of boys. They didn’t watch TV in a hotel room bed with three other guys. They didn’t want to go to fancy restaurants. They didn’t . . . act like Ryan.

There was a pause, but not a silence; the city didn’t allow for it.

“They’re not nightmares. They’re memories.”

Things like this weren’t supposed to happen, so how was anyone supposed to have a response?

He had laid down without wanting comfort and had woken up desperate for it.

Quite a few people have slept in a bathtub apparently.
I'm not one of them.
But I assumed it wasn't comfortable.

I need to pay attention better. I could've swore this was a oneshot 'cause I read the first chapter, but its not soooo wow.

What can I say? It scared me. Chapter 2 and 3 scared me. I've only been scared by a handful of stories and one book. Nice job. You scared me.
Why was I scared. I don't think it was ryan throwing up or screaming. (Even though the silent scream when he was sleeping scared the shit out of me because hey its 3:35 am and dark and I'm all alone)
But I think what scared me was the fact Ryan was just so monotonous? Is that even the word? I don't think it is. He was just so maybe struck. He was so calm making the pizza rolls and sooo calm watching tv. And his snappyness. When he snapped at Brendon, but then said sorry almost right after. How he was so meek.

This story is like a scarey movie that you flipped to on the tv and can't change the channel even though your scared out of your mind. You just can't.
Hope that was a good 3:30 am comment :D
oh and haha I've slept in a bathtub before o-O it was uncormfortable. D:
<3333333333

druscilla; insain:

That's why there's a part four.

*Is waiting for part 4 patiently*

Ok...not very patiently.... :P

I ain't gonna lie...
I looked up P!ATD just to see who was who here...
So basicly, I'm not a huge fan of them. Like some of their songs, just not a big fan.

This story though, is fucking awesome!
*worships you and your talent*
You seriously amaze me. How you can write something like this and get the emotions so perfectly.
Just....fucking wow!

Moving on...
Brendon my dear....Why are you in the tub? :(

Oh!My!Gee!:

I slept in the bathtub once... not comfortable... but why is Brendon there?

That's why there's a part four.

I slept in the bathtub once... not comfortable... but why is Brendon there?

I couldn't NOT comment this.


Then labored breathing. “Sick joke.” he said weakly. “Sick joke, right Spencer?”

There was something I liked about this sentence. It was a realistic reaction, and so very Pete-ish.

It took Spencer a few minutes to realize they were watching Independence Day despite the fact that he had seen it over two dozen times. Nothing really seemed familiar anymore.

Loved the last line there. It was just... it like came out at me and screamed. Nothing was familiar. I kind of know the feeling, or being detached, desentisized...

Not with Spencer, Brendon, and Jon darting glances not only at Ryan, but at each other as well. Not with Ryan occasionally twitching as if to grab Brendon or Spencer’s hand. Not with Jon watching the fight scenes with a little too much fervor.

Love the way you implied what each of them were feeling through their actions. We don't get a lot of those anymore 'round here. Too much telling, and no showing.


“Okay.” Ryan nodded. “I’ll be fine.” he said, trying to reassure himself and all of them. “I’ll be fine.” He leaned in toward Brendon. “We’ll be fine, right?”

“Of course we will.” Brendon murmured, slipping an arm around Ryan’s shoulders. “We’ll watch some stupid movie about aliens and be just fine.”

It was a lie. They wouldn’t be fine. But they would be safe and that seemed good enough for the moment.

Bittersweet. Utterly bittersweet.

“That’s enough for now.” He sounded like a mom. That’s enough for now. You can have another cookie after supper, sweetie. Brendon’s mom never said that and Ryan hadn’t had a mom to say that.

Motherly tendencies. :sigh: Too precious and heartwrenching.

And the silence part... people think silences are quiet, and non-interactive... but this proves otherwise.


No such luck. Not a surprise. Luck wasn’t on their side. Nothing was on their side.

So... sad. Can't elaborate. Too sad.

When Jon took him into the bathroom to wash it, they found Brendon sleeping in the bathtub.

You killed me.

---

Chap 2:


“Don’t be.” Ryan said. “It’s pointless. It’s just me and I’m just . . . done.”

“Ry, don’t talk like that.” Spencer said quietly. “We—you’ll get through this all right. We’ll help you. I’ll help you. We’re going to fly home and you’ll stay with me and everything will work out. You’ll see.”

“One of them told me to write a song about it.” Ryan said in a voice so soft Spencer nearly missed it. He stared at the television. A new movie was starting; he didn’t recognize it. “He told me to write about it. He got . . . so far in my fucking head, Spence. Because now I can’t write about it. I can’t write about it and I don’t know what to do. I always write about it.”

He buried his face in his hands, pulling at his hair, crying quietly.

“Ryan—“

“It’s over. I’m over. There’s nothing left anymore. He took it all away from me. I’m nothing now.”

I adored this paragraph. The writer's block, and how Ryan is trying to hold on to something familiar, something he ONCE knew, it was... And the last line!!!

I actually like this chapter a lot.
It's not my favorite but it's fucking good.

He knew that Jon would follow his lead, even if Ryan wasn’t much of a dancer.

Best.
Line.
Ever.

That was a great chapter. It's just so realistic. You can just imagine everything happening with perfect detail, like you could see it on a movie screen in your mind.

i love the way its so realistic, brilliant update, as always
x