Room 242 - Comments

Great chapter. Long, but good. I could just see Ryan screaming and holding onto Brendon. Just perfection. That's all I can say about it.

Wow a diffrent twist to this story its ver y good!

This story has been updated.
The chapter is not my favorite, but I feel it's kind of . . . necessary.
It's more of a transitional chapter than a content one.
Let me know what you think.

ZooZoo Magee:

druscilla; insain:

ZooZoo Magee:

No one cleans up the vomit.
Just thought I'd point that out.

Yeah. I was going to write in that Spencer called room service to change the sheets [which he did], but I just thought implying it would work.

Okay.
It says he vomits onto the other side of the bed, so I figured it probably wasn't on Spencer and rather onto the floor.
It doesn't really matter. It's a minor detail that's not imperative to the story.

No, he didn't vomit on Spencer, but he did vomit on the bed.
And in rereading what I had started for chapter three . . . first two sentences.
Ryan was sleeping. It was four in the afternoon and he was sleeping on his bed, which had fresh sheets on it, while the other members of Panic! at the Disco were scattered across the room.

I don't mind when people point out details like that to me.
In That Wasn't My Brother I had Gerard take Mikey's boxers off twice.
It's good to not slip up like that and be told what detail was off.

druscilla; insain:

ZooZoo Magee:

No one cleans up the vomit.
Just thought I'd point that out.

Yeah. I was going to write in that Spencer called room service to change the sheets [which he did], but I just thought implying it would work.

Okay.
It says he vomits onto the other side of the bed, so I figured it probably wasn't on Spencer and rather onto the floor.
It doesn't really matter. It's a minor detail that's not imperative to the story.

ZooZoo Magee:

No one cleans up the vomit.
Just thought I'd point that out.

Yeah. I was going to write in that Spencer called room service to change the sheets [which he did], but I just thought implying it would work.

No one cleans up the vomit.
Just thought I'd point that out.

Okay.
So I tried to review this at UCLA, decided it wasn't a good idea, tried to review this last night, found I was half asleep, and I'm trying to review this now and my grandmother's five feet away...

But dear god, that was fucking haunting. Eerie, almost.
I lovelovelovelove watching their seperate reactions. How Jon seems to want revenge and seems to be so protective of Ryan when Ryan's only been his friend for...well not as long as Spencer. Spencer wants to make it better...but doesn't know how.

And Brendon. Brendon is kind of pissing me off. Not of how you wrote him but of how he doesn't want to act like it happened.

But Ryan is probably the best. How he vomits and then says he's fine. It's just like Brendon's denial...except worse. And the thing about writing it and all was very...perfect, in a sense. Perfect.

so powerful and yet so sad DD:
Dru, you just made rape seem 10x worse than it really is
two thumbs up for the story tho
>_>

I just stumbled upon your story today and... wow. Just wow. I wans't expecting to find such an... amazing story. I mean it's only two chapters in but it really made me tear up.

It really does illustrate how rape not only affects the victim, but the people who care most about the victim as well.

^
Frerard isn't too original, love.
-giggles-
I actually never wrote a Frerard.
Anyway . . .
Yes, that review made sense.
It was amazing and I'm putting it in the best reviews thread.

Time for a 2:30am review.

I really thought this was a one shot, so I was suprised when I saw you updated O_O I'm subscribing then so I don't miss it. I think I have more Panic fanfictions than MCR. Strange. ANYWAY, I'm rambling again, so let's see if Jenni can pull a review out of her ass on three hours of sleep- ow my arm hurts.

Ryan's crying didn't scare me, his puking didn't scare me, no, his totally calmness when he was making pizza rolls scared me. Even if he wasn't showing it, he was just cracking. You could visually see the cracks spread along his body like spider webs and just shatter into a million unfixable pieces. You didn't even have to describe it. It isn't even common knowledge. Just his small actions painted the picture. It was horrifying...like I was Spencer watching his be destroyed and not able to do anything. I almost cried when he said he was "nothing." It was just so quiet and meek. He was physically, emotionally, and mentally raped. I don't know how to describe this right, I hope I am making sense.

Everyone's actions in this chapter were...almost like a slow dance. There was no melodramatic wails, no one falling to their knees and questioning God. Everything was in slow motion, to slow music. It was natural and, in a sense, scary. We are watching a horror movie, and this is the part where the killer is stalking the innocent victims. It's slow, and menacing, and you have to sit there and just scream "no look behind you!" Only there's nothing physical behind these boys. Nothing they can fight with and get their emotions out. It's in their heads and in their bodies, and it's like a virus taking them over.

I don't know what else to say honestly- hell I don't even know if I am making much sense at the moment. Hm, I don't want to say update soon cause I know you hate that. Hmm...FRERARD IS REAL! There, that's original.

This is a more sensitive portrayal of a rape than I have previously read. It hasn't fallen into cliches yet, and I don't think it's in danger of doing so.
I like that Ryan is....great, now I can't think of how to describe it. It's not entirely that he's trying to be strong for everyone else, or trying not to pity himself, but something along those lines, I guess.
Well-done.

My favorite lines:

"Not believing him, but understanding a dismissal when he heard one,"

"images playing like a silent film in his head."

"He didn’t want to wear anything tight. The idea of his body being so on display scared the shit out of him."

"More than anything, however, he wished there wasn’t anything to tell."

"He wasn’t the one who had been raped, he had no right to be crying."

"Any being capable of such a thing shouldn’t be allowed to breathe the same oxygen as the rest of the human race. He kept a gentle arm around Spencer’s shoulders, but the other was curled into a fist."

“I can’t break anymore.....I can’t.” the older boy said stubbornly. “There’s nothing left of me to break. "

"He wasn’t trying to imagine it, but he couldn’t help it."

"Ican’t write about it and I don’t know what to do. I always write about it.”"

awww... this is sad, but makes an oh-so-good story... update soon, k? <3

I love this story, the writing is so beautiful

my favourite part is:

Spencer bit his lip, fighting tears. Why Ryan? It could have been anyone but Ryan. Not Ryan with the big, brown eyes that were staring up at him, terrified.

because the imagery has so much power

Oh my God... That was so wonderful chapter.

Jon didn’t cry like Spencer or withdraw into himself like Brendon. He fought with himself to not storm into the other room and shake the truth out of Ryan, to get a face or a name, to get someone he could put his hands on, someone he could rip apart.
I love it how everyone's handling the rape so differently. It's realistic, unlike most of the rape stories out there where everyone just wants to curse and kill the people who did it.

And it's really a great idea to not just focus on what Ryan is feeling, but the people around him too.

^
I didn't think it sounded patronizing.
P.S. I'm telling Marlee that you're laying claim to her future husband. She's gonna keeeeeeeeeeeeell you.

I thought this was only going to be a oneshot? Oh god I'm so happy it wasn't - kindof like in Leviticus 20:13 [sp?] your portray of linnocence was really moving and really deep.

It's dark and mysterious, and I feel really shattered after reading it - that's a good writer, when you can move people so much that they feel what the protagonist is feeling.

Well done, Dru [that wasn't meant to sound patronising.]

&#9829;

Holy mother fucking shit

This is brilliant

I thought it was a one-shot at first.
So I had forgotten all about it.
It was a great surprise!
Amazing story, but then again, what else could i expect from you?