I like it, but I need some background information. was that kinda the foreshadowing prolouge thingy? the sex stuff was also very acurate, and that's really good.
-concrit- don't call me a bitch, because i know i do it too, but the enter button is your friend. Don't do text blocks, even if there's no dialouge. when you start a new paragraph, make sure you hit the enter button, it's easier on the reader's eyes that way. =)
umm *thinking of other stuff to say* Maybe if the sex was all a dream, you should put it in italics? i don't know, just a weird suggestion. =D
Okay. I love it. =D It's very good, and you should totally write more, no lie. Please don't get mad at me for all the concrit, it's has good intentions. x]
I like it, but I need some background information. was that kinda the foreshadowing prolouge thingy? the sex stuff was also very acurate, and that's really good.
-concrit-
don't call me a bitch, because i know i do it too, but the enter button is your friend. Don't do text blocks, even if there's no dialouge. when you start a new paragraph, make sure you hit the enter button, it's easier on the reader's eyes that way. =)
umm *thinking of other stuff to say* Maybe if the sex was all a dream, you should put it in italics? i don't know, just a weird suggestion. =D
Okay. I love it. =D It's very good, and you should totally write more, no lie. Please don't get mad at me for all the concrit, it's has good intentions. x]
More soonish? =D