March 23rd, 2009 at 05:55pm
God, this was so amazing. Beautiful at the top of its essence, and so, so deep
I don't know what you plan on changing here, but whatever it is, I don't know how you have the urge to turn this better. It's just so stunning... seriously.
I didn't cry, shout, or had any majorreaction to this, but I felt so intrigued by what was happening. Only when I got to the point when the narrator repeats "fake, fake, fake" and "acting, acting, acting" by the last flashback that there was something terribly wrong about their story. There was something missing in his words and meanings, and when he told us that he wasn't faking or acting, everything blew up around me.
This was deep and beautiful. I always love your stories, and this one was no exception. Good luck for the contest :cute:
As soon as I read the first sentence I was captivated by the way you told your story. I was asking everything, from what was going on to why this was happening. Part of me still feels like I don't totally understand your one-shot, and the story behind it, as Frank seems to me like he's holding stuff back from us. It's like he doesn't see it as necessary to inform us of everything. I liked that a lot. It kept me guessing, and to be honest, I'm still guessing about things now.
I kind of feel sorry for Gerard and his obsession with painting grotesque things. I was creeped out by the whole painting of a raped teenage girl, but there was a part of me that sympathized with him. It was only something that he liked to do; a passion of his, like music is to me. He wasn't doing it to provoke anyone, but simply because he enjoyed creating art. I felt extremely sorrry for Gerard when that man broke into their house, and his knocking on the door being in time with Frank's heartbeat was particularly effective.
I really loved this one shot. If this doesn't make it to the top ten, I'll be surprised. Your writing makes the topic of monsters almost elegant, and I loved that.
xo