I didn't feel anything from the beginning of the story and it was hard for me to connect with anything. It was a little dull and lacking. . .it was an slow start, but something about it I knew it was going to get better :con:
I like how the character was reminiscing about the past and I felt that something happened for that special person to leave his life like that. That made me want to read more into the story. The year is 1972 and I since that in your diction and tone.
Another thing I admire is that you hid the name of the main character talking like a secret and that compares to the character as well because he seems like a secretive person and like to keep to himself. The emptiness in his life is very vivid and you can't help, but feel sorry for him. As of right now I don't know what's going on and I can't wait to understand more.
The flashbacks added a nice atmosphere to the story and it helped figure out the character's past a little to help us understand his reasoning. The fact that you written this in second person was and I felt the narrators words like he was actually talking to me (normally associated with second person) but I liked that. The emotion was raw and real.
"I was the world’s ugliest boy. You made me question it, I’ll admit, but it was everywhere I cared to look, and in every face I presented myself to. It was in the mirror, with my heavyweight brow and my sour mouth, and my father’s eyes." - I like the dull descriptions and I don't mean dull as boring in this sense, because your descriptions were beautiful, but dull as to the way he explained himself in a negative way and we as readers know how he felt about himself and with that his parents.
There seems to be so much hidden beneath the narrators words and I noticed that you also bury the story underneath words that tell more than it shows. I feel that it goes on and on and at times words don't connect as well as I want them too, but I have common sense and can alter what you meant to say.
I see this story as kind of a morbid romantic love story because it has its moments and the thoughts the narrator thinks about has sorrow written all over them as he thinks about things that was and he lives in the past when he doesn't even noticed the life around him. Time probably stops as well when he sits and thinks about this mysterious woman of his childhood.
"I have not seen you for eight years, so in my mind you are still on Maudlin Street, still going to the picture house every Friday night, still hanging round in the park with your school friends." - This is a great example of him living in the past and he doesn't notice the present. He lives in the time when he was four again and I believe that he would never change his ways even he comes to his senses.
I've never read a story like this with its twist and turns and the question I had I didn't get answered till the very end and it was a bitter-sweet ending that made everyone seem happy. And the biggest aspect of the story was the house and the street name and how his life was built around a street and that was his life. I had my up and downs with this story and even though this wasn't for me I could see the nicely points within this piece.
I didn't feel anything from the beginning of the story and it was hard for me to connect with anything. It was a little dull and lacking. . .it was an slow start, but something about it I knew it was going to get better :con:
I like how the character was reminiscing about the past and I felt that something happened for that special person to leave his life like that. That made me want to read more into the story. The year is 1972 and I since that in your diction and tone.
Another thing I admire is that you hid the name of the main character talking like a secret and that compares to the character as well because he seems like a secretive person and like to keep to himself. The emptiness in his life is very vivid and you can't help, but feel sorry for him. As of right now I don't know what's going on and I can't wait to understand more.
The flashbacks added a nice atmosphere to the story and it helped figure out the character's past a little to help us understand his reasoning. The fact that you written this in second person was
"I was the world’s ugliest boy. You made me question it, I’ll admit, but it was everywhere I cared to look, and in every face I presented myself to. It was in the mirror, with my heavyweight brow and my sour mouth, and my father’s eyes." - I like the dull descriptions and I don't mean dull as boring in this sense, because your descriptions were beautiful, but dull as to the way he explained himself in a negative way and we as readers know how he felt about himself and with that his parents.
There seems to be so much hidden beneath the narrators words and I noticed that you also bury the story underneath words that tell more than it shows. I feel that it goes on and on and at times words don't connect as well as I want them too, but I have common sense and can alter what you meant to say.
I see this story as kind of a morbid romantic love story because it has its moments and the thoughts the narrator thinks about has sorrow written all over them as he thinks about things that was and he lives in the past when he doesn't even noticed the life around him. Time probably stops as well when he sits and thinks about this mysterious woman of his childhood.
"I have not seen you for eight years, so in my mind you are still on Maudlin Street, still going to the picture house every Friday night, still hanging round in the park with your school friends." - This is a great example of him living in the past and he doesn't notice the present. He lives in the time when he was four again and I believe that he would never change his ways even he comes to his senses.
I've never read a story like this with its twist and turns and the question I had I didn't get answered till the very end and it was a bitter-sweet ending that made everyone seem happy. And the biggest aspect of the story was the house and the street name and how his life was built around a street and that was his life. I had my up and downs with this story and even though this wasn't for me I could see the nicely points within this piece.