Driving Nowhere. - Comments

I really like it (: I'm sure many people can relate to this story, and it was good at that he didn't tell his dad in the end, as some stories may have done a huge argument between him and his father.
Your writing style is extreamly good, and I liked the concept of such a simple situation having the chance to become something else.
I don't know if this comment makes much sense, I'm rather tired :XD
But I really enjoyed it (:
Keep writing!

Aww....damn Jamie.
That was really sort of tension filled. You could really feel the awkwardness Jamie was feeling as he worried about how and when to tell his dad, which his dad didn't really seem to pick up on.

I loved the description of Lee. How Jamie just couldn't not talk about him and given any chance he'd go on and on until he couldn't speak anymore about this boy that just seemed to lighten up his life. The hint of sexual content was nice too.

Very...classy though. Just mentioned. S'nice.

It sounded like Jamie was normaly ok with his dad, felt he could tell him things, so maybe now that he just couldn't find the courage to talk about this issue was also what made it feel weird? ... Or maybe he just finds it awkward.

I liked that this was rather simple. Just basically a car journey, but it shows how much can really happen that you don't notice. You can't tell what someone is thinking during some rather normal silence like when in a car. Wow, kinda...off topic here XD

Anyway. I liked how well the title fitted too. Driving Nowhere...and the conversation really wasn't going anywhere either. Like Jamie was getting no nearer telling his dad no matter how hard he tried.

=[

Poor sod. :arms:

Awesomly written ^__^

xxx

Poor Jamie :(

Aww!
This was really good.
I like how he didn't actually manage to tell his Dad. Most stories end with everyone finding out and being fine about it.

Amazing. :cheese:

I like the problems that Jamie faces in his head throughout the story. It's like he's battling with his mind and doesn't know how to put it properly into words. He seems scared of admitting it though, I think he sort of wants his dad to know, but he also doesn't. He just wanted things to feel okay again. He knows things have changed and he wants to go back to how it was before. But he's a little bit too scared to, perhaps because he's scared of how his dad will react.

Jamie knew he had to face up to the world some day - he knows that one day he's going to tell everybody, but for now he's too scared to say anything. So he just hides it all inside himself and this isn't good because he seems to hurt an awful lot about it all. It makes me wonder whether Lee is facing the same problems, also.

But half the "battle" (if I can call it that?) seems to be won because it's mentioned that he's already told his friends. But I think that telling parents is always going to be a lot harder than your friends.

It's like Jamie has schizophrenia, in a way, because there's this nagging voice in the back of his head, begging him to tell his father, but Jamie's kind of against this. He wants to, but he doesn't want to as well, if that makes sense. :think: I've confused myself now, anyway.

And he nearly does it. I think that by this stage, the reader is practically gagging for him to admit it, but he still doesn't. I really like this technique, it makes the reader want to keep on reading and it keeps people's attention. “I’m- I love you,” he stammered. But Jamie's such a sweetheart for telling his dad that he loves him.

This bit was particularly effective:
“What did you get to do in France, then?”
I had sex with my boyfriend three times with a teacher two rooms away.
“I... saw the Eiffel Tower.”
I don't know, I really liked the little addition in the middle. It lightened the mood of the story slightly, and Jamie doesn't admit this like he's ashamed of it, which is good. I'm glad that he's not ashamed of having a boyfriend or the fact that he's gay; he's just afraid of his parents possibly being ashamed?

The dark haired boy dug his nails into his palms. He's punishing himself here, for not telling his father. He's really angry at himself, because he wants to do it.

Jamie's thoughts of Lee are very vivid and they illustrate just how much he likes Lee. He's fallen for Lee, in a big way, and I have a feeling that if prompted, he'd be able to talk about Lee for hours. Lee is his life, in a way, and it's like Lee and Jamie are two halves of the same person.

I liked the ending, that things weren't properly tied up because he never did tell his father in the end. I like open endings, because they let the reader fill in the gaps for themselves.

Really nicely done, sorry this feedback's a bit pants. :arms: