I really loved this, it's definitely the best thing you've written and I really liked the way you worked with this pairing and made the story into something interesting like this.
6:45 - the alarm goes off. Already, it's established that Gavin has a set routine and he doesn't like drifting from it. This is explored in more detail later on, what with the times being so exact, and I think that Gavin suffers from mild OCD, because everything has to be just so, and he gets worried when they're not. And the detail in the first paragraph, what with him going into great detail about what he does - simple things like hanging the towel over the chair and not folding his shirt. He seems to be a very thorough person and has to do things just so.
I think this line is important, it shows how different Chris is to Gavin. y house mate never wakes until 8:39, give or take a few minutes. I offered him a clock to keep consistent It shows that Chris is spontaneous and never thinks things through. He lives on impulses, whereas Gavin has to plan everything in advance and has to make sure that everything is the same. Gav likes everything to stay the same, Chris wants everything to be different.
It's not just himself that he constantly keeps a check on to make sure things are the same. He makes his coffee, two sugars and no milk for the morning, the fact that he notices little things like this shows how much attention he pays to detail. I have a feeling he'd feel uneasy if Chris did his coffee different.
I kind of feel sorry for Gavin here. At 8:46, exactly two hours after I first pressed snooze, he'd come back into the kitchen where I would be double checking the dates on the food that filled the fridge, freezer and cupboards, depending on what day of the week it was. He's stuck doing this because he knows that he won't be satisfied unless he does it - he worries that things won't go right if he doesn't do this and he has to check, and double-check, just to make sure.
This line says it all. I think I know Chris like the back of my hand. The fact that its the word think, rather than know implies that Gavin knows that Chris is unpredictable and that's the stuff that he doesn't know, simply because he's a spontaneous person and doesn't always do things according to plan.
I felt really sad when I read this. He was the definition of hardcore where I was just a pile of mushy peas. I think that deep down inside himself, Gavin would like to do things spontaneously, but there's something inside himself that's stopping him from doing it. And he always seems to want to compare himself to Chris. Oh, and great imagery by the way.
Gavin's panic is evident when he does on tour with FFAF, and it's obvious he can't quite adjust. I keep my UK watch on my bunk and I watch the UK time. Although he doesn't seem to mind the actual touring, I think he hates the spontaneousness it brings because he likes things to go to plan and I have a feeling that he's not entirely comfortable with being on a tour bus because it's not where he lives - if that makes sense.
I loved the simplicity of this. One minute over can unnerve me. Four puts my mind into panic. To put it quite simply, he's stuck in a routine that he can't break. And if something doesn't go on time, it worries him. And his response to Chris, "Just staying in, like we normally do." I replied, implies that he's wanting things to carry on as they always do, never changing.
Ooh! His hand was firmly on my thigh. I could feel his finger nails digging into the inside seam of my jeans and he squeezed harder. I loved this description. I dunno why, but it seemed to match Chris's character well. It seems like exactly what he'd do.
Sorry to quote so much but I need to quote this paragraph. This was supposed to be my dream, but the way things were just about to change was a nightmare. I didn't want to be spontaneous. I was content with the same, just by myself. Gavin's petrified here. He's frozen and doesn't quite know what to do. He wants things to happen between them, but he knows that things would change and he's not sure what to do about that. And that scares him because he doesn't know what's coming next.
I think Chris can read Gavin like a book. "You look scared." He can notice this from Gavin's lack of enthusiasm (if that's the right word to use) and knows that Gavin is scared of change. But he carries on regardless, I think he wants Gavin to be able to snap out of this, in a way.
And then the ending! It's a nice change to read something without a happy ending. He wanted everything to go back to being the same. That's what I do best. Although Gavin is comfortable with things returning to be the same, it's obvious he's not at ease with it any more, which is evident by the ending (which was really clever, by the way. Going in a loop was clever, and ending up at the start was a really clever thing to do). 6:45 my alarm rings. I press snooze a minute later. I wanted it to change. Despite all this, Gavin wants change. He's willing to sacrifice all his habits and things being the same for Chris.
I really loved this, you really worked well with the pairing. :arms:
6:45 - the alarm goes off. Already, it's established that Gavin has a set routine and he doesn't like drifting from it. This is explored in more detail later on, what with the times being so exact, and I think that Gavin suffers from mild OCD, because everything has to be just so, and he gets worried when they're not. And the detail in the first paragraph, what with him going into great detail about what he does - simple things like hanging the towel over the chair and not folding his shirt. He seems to be a very thorough person and has to do things just so.
I think this line is important, it shows how different Chris is to Gavin. y house mate never wakes until 8:39, give or take a few minutes. I offered him a clock to keep consistent It shows that Chris is spontaneous and never thinks things through. He lives on impulses, whereas Gavin has to plan everything in advance and has to make sure that everything is the same. Gav likes everything to stay the same, Chris wants everything to be different.
It's not just himself that he constantly keeps a check on to make sure things are the same. He makes his coffee, two sugars and no milk for the morning, the fact that he notices little things like this shows how much attention he pays to detail. I have a feeling he'd feel uneasy if Chris did his coffee different.
I kind of feel sorry for Gavin here. At 8:46, exactly two hours after I first pressed snooze, he'd come back into the kitchen where I would be double checking the dates on the food that filled the fridge, freezer and cupboards, depending on what day of the week it was. He's stuck doing this because he knows that he won't be satisfied unless he does it - he worries that things won't go right if he doesn't do this and he has to check, and double-check, just to make sure.
This line says it all. I think I know Chris like the back of my hand. The fact that its the word think, rather than know implies that Gavin knows that Chris is unpredictable and that's the stuff that he doesn't know, simply because he's a spontaneous person and doesn't always do things according to plan.
I felt really sad when I read this. He was the definition of hardcore where I was just a pile of mushy peas. I think that deep down inside himself, Gavin would like to do things spontaneously, but there's something inside himself that's stopping him from doing it. And he always seems to want to compare himself to Chris. Oh, and great imagery by the way.
Gavin's panic is evident when he does on tour with FFAF, and it's obvious he can't quite adjust. I keep my UK watch on my bunk and I watch the UK time. Although he doesn't seem to mind the actual touring, I think he hates the spontaneousness it brings because he likes things to go to plan and I have a feeling that he's not entirely comfortable with being on a tour bus because it's not where he lives - if that makes sense.
I loved the simplicity of this. One minute over can unnerve me. Four puts my mind into panic. To put it quite simply, he's stuck in a routine that he can't break. And if something doesn't go on time, it worries him. And his response to Chris, "Just staying in, like we normally do." I replied, implies that he's wanting things to carry on as they always do, never changing.
Ooh!
Sorry to quote so much but I need to quote this paragraph. This was supposed to be my dream, but the way things were just about to change was a nightmare. I didn't want to be spontaneous. I was content with the same, just by myself. Gavin's petrified here. He's frozen and doesn't quite know what to do. He wants things to happen between them, but he knows that things would change and he's not sure what to do about that. And that scares him because he doesn't know what's coming next.
I think Chris can read Gavin like a book. "You look scared." He can notice this from Gavin's lack of enthusiasm (if that's the right word to use) and knows that Gavin is scared of change. But he carries on regardless, I think he wants Gavin to be able to snap out of this, in a way.
And then the ending! It's a nice change to read something without a happy ending. He wanted everything to go back to being the same. That's what I do best. Although Gavin is comfortable with things returning to be the same, it's obvious he's not at ease with it any more, which is evident by the ending (which was really clever, by the way. Going in a loop was clever, and ending up at the start was a really clever thing to do). 6:45 my alarm rings. I press snooze a minute later. I wanted it to change. Despite all this, Gavin wants change. He's willing to sacrifice all his habits and things being the same for Chris.
I really loved this, you really worked well with the pairing. :arms: