The Tales of a Daydreamer - Comments

at some point this got kinda confusing.
i couldn't really tell what she was dreaming and what was really happening.
but i do realize that is the point :)
good story, though, i really like it.

I lovee this.
Please keep writing it.

Ahh I missed this story.
I'm so glad you're back. :D
I don't know what I'd do without your amazing stories. :]
Write more soon!

Hey, this is for the Story/Review Game. I'm reviewing as I go along. :cute:

It all started with the right side of my pillow.
I'm a little confused by this first line. What do you mean by "It started with the right side of my pillow?" If it's terribly obvious, please forgive me, I'm prone to blonde moments. :tehe:

I tried to open my eyes, but they felt like they were glued shut. I tried to lift my hands, to pry my eyelids open, but they felt heavy as lead. I couldn't move them.
Good imagery here, I really liked this whole paragraph, and how the beeps got slower as she tried to listen. It has a creepy element to it, which I always love in a story.

Maybe I wasn't in my room after all…
Hmm, I don't see a reason for this to be crossed off, seeing as it's something that you're character is thinking right now, and it doesn't seem like they're regretting saying it. I think you would be better off with just
Maybe I wasn't in my room after all...

The creepiness increases in the next few paragraphs, and it's very intriguing. Lohgan's thoughts as she is trapped inside her own head, I'll say, seem very realistic.

NO! I'm alive, I'M ALIVE!" I shrieked, sitting up in my desk. I looked around, taking in the classroom and its many, silent, blinking faces.
Wow, that hospital scene you created was very realistic. I actually sort of expected Lohgan to still be in the hospital when she got up. :tehe:

The teacher's response seems pretty good, but I'd like to hear more about what the class thought, like if they snickered, or cracked a joke, or asked some sort of question. :think:

Overall, I really liked your story, it's very interesting, and I 'd like to read more sometime. :cute:

ok. the whole part of her having daydreams she can't tell are daydreams?

that reminds me of a short story i had to read for english.

your writing is 30920380298308230820380328023802830832 times better, though. i just thought about it.

bleh... i can't talk today. you might be better off not paying attention to this comment.

IT WAS GOOD. that was simple. and easy. alright we'll stick with that.