A Little Bit Screw Loose - Comments

I honestly think that this is phenomenal.
I really love and appreciate your writing style, and this is inspirational
Very original, very unique!
X0x0C

p.s. this was written sooo beautiful. Really this is amazing marie.

Okay, so I have never really given a wonderful comment before, and I think I should start trying, because I may not be a wonderful writer, but I still get comments, and I know how happy that makes me. :]

So, here I go. ;D

I really just have to mention this, because it kind of made me laugh at the beginning, but the title is wonderful! It is said, but sometimes I enjoy titles more than the stories, (but let's keep that between you and me). Also, I tend to spend more time picking titles than writing...xD

Next, I just LOVED the whole first paragraph, I guess because I relate in a way, you could ask any of my friends and I have been known to talk about wanting an extravagant death, so again, it kind of made me laugh because I could just imagine Gerard ranting to Frank about how he wanted to go out.

I guess I want to talk about your writing style next. AH-MAY-ZING (i know that isn't spelled right. xD) I really loved the way that you tied the words together, and made the one-shot, and it really didn't seem rushed at all. ;] I know when I was writing I worried a lot about different things, but never mind that.

All in all, I really loved it, and am really happy to see that you are joining the contest, I guess now I am just happy I entered...since I tend to just try but never really get motivated to do things like this.

So, great luck in the contest, and continue writing your beautiful words.

Apologies in advance for the shitty comment but I really shouldn't be on mibba atm.
I just had to tell you that there is no way I stand a chance in the User Contest now.
That was amazing, it really was.
Well done. You have immense talent.

:brightside:
I think it's just me looking for an excuse to cry but this was so fucking beautiful, I'm in tears.

He talks of how his dreams always consist of him dying, always in beautifully tragic ways.
I don't want to make a long review where half the stuff written is quotes, but I can't help to copy some lines in here. That one, god, that one was the perfect beginning. It was the voice for this. You instantly know you're about to read one of those things that grip your heart so tight, you might burst. And the way you write... I was doomed from the beginning.
I'm a sucker for tragic stories, really sad one-shots, but have that splash of beauty to it, there's no other way but to love it.


“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” I say when his eyes lock on mine. It may not be the truth, but I hope and silently pray anyways.
Six hundred words but the characters feel so real and familiar. It's Frank's burden, you know it is, but he doesn’t have much of a choice. Oh man, I can't tell you how much I love the little details, the way Gerard smiles and kind of apologizes, still smiling, still sensed as this fragile little being. The way they kiss and you put there, our mouths slightly open with his leg tossed over my hip.
:shock:
I instantly assumed it was told from Frank's pov. :shifty
So yeah, I fall apart at just imagining it.

I can’t say that I disagree with them either, because he does have his moments, but there are also times when he’s like this.
I don't know what exactly is wrong with him, but he's definitely not your typical man, not what someone would define as 'normal'. Always a little paranoid, like he feels the world is out to get him. And when it says 'times when he's like this' I know it means that word exactly: normal. When he just wakes up and Gerard is one more human being, humming and laughing. Just normal.

“Need your medicine?”
:cheese:
Again, simple phrases, simple words building up this astounding one-shot. Gah, I think I've said it before, but your writing style is one I so envy, but in a good way. There's a facility to make it flow, the words and actions link resulting in very easy to read material, and I really think there's something wrong with readers if you don't get the amount of comments you deserve. There’s so many too overrated stuff that’s gets more attention instead of writing pieces like this one. But I don’t want to get into that, this is about your lovely one-shot and your amazing skills.

Don’t feel like facing the day yet.
It's sometimes the first thing that comes to mind when I first wake up. The feeling that there are things out there that are going to weigh me down, so I rather wait, but the feeling never goes. Fuck, anyone can relate to it, anyone, and if that's the way he feels everyday, as if he never wants to get up... :crazy: it makes me love this even more if possible.

I adore the way you don't mention that one of them is a 'broken' boy. That's widely used out there, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's just 'a screw loose' in this and I absolutely find it original and made of win. While I try to fix the screw that’s loose...


You begin and end in a spectacular way.
His pale fingers sporadically digging into my shoulder blades, “I’ll be fine,” repeating like a broken record.
I broke down at the end. I’m seriously at awe, no kidding. It’s like he lives in a separate world, he doesn’t know what happens in real life, so Frank’s the only anchor, the link while the same boy tries to keep him sane. Both of them, sane.

I love this so much, I really do. Everything, it’s all over the one-shot… I love it.
You are so wonderful at this, I can’t wait to see what else you can do in your other stories :shifty