Croquis. - Comments

So I literally had to put this down and scream because I was so fucking mad at Gerard. I still am, actually. As a matter of fact, I was doing that thing people do when they're watching sports and yelling at the TV as if the athletes can hear them. I was all like, "Frank, you put those drawings down and add a sticky-note to it that says, 'Burn these, fucker, or I will!' because that's what needs to be done. Also, you need to punch that cheating bastard Gerard in the balls then kick the fucking bastard in the face."

Omfg this is painful, like PAIN PAIN PAIN. I actually like freaked out.

Damn. You're amazingly good.

YOU HURT MY LIFE

but it's really good, I enjoyed it, but I was like praying for it not to end like that but it did ;-;

Please. Please. Please. write more. This is the best thing I've ever read

WOW, that was amazing. I cried in the end though :( fantastic job

Without a doubt one of the best ferards I have ever read.
This is amazing, and I condone you for the good work.
No, excellent work.

Beautiful.

this storie the best story i have ever read...i cryed...its so emotional so heart breaking

That story just about broke my heart. It was amazing, and it conveyed much more feeling and history than most oneshots.

That was so so sad, but so beautiful.
You really captured the very essence of love, and how cruel it can be.
You're incredibly talented, and that was very well written.
Be proud of yourself.

OH MY MOTHER FUCKING GOD !!!
that !... was A-FUCKING-MAZING !!
thats all i can really say ... truly amazing !
xo C

Wow. This story was great! One of my favourites. Dammit! Now, I'll compare every Frerard I read to this. Great job!

Every single story now seems childish and weak in my eyes after having read this.

I loved the anticipation waiting for the climax. I could see it, feel it, and taste it coming, and I was still surprised. I love, love this entire concept of art and love you've created. It clashed together profoundly in the story, which was incredible. I can proudly say I've never read anything like this. You're definately talented and writers like you are why I love mibba.

That doesn't come close to the impression this story left on me. This story was beautiful.

That made me physically hurt. It was so sad..

I mean, in the beginning, it was really nice. Gerard was kind of strange.. but it was all cute. But the end.. it just made me want to rip my heart out.. or maybe Gerard's..

Any way, this was by far one of the best one-shots I've read. It was beautifully written, original, and so strong it almost made me cry.

Wonderful job.

SECOND COMMENT - The Real One!
I wanted to post this comment after announcing the winners, but it wouldn’t be fair for you as you wouldn’t have had a comment when the others did. I know I commented as soon as the story was posted, but maybe that was my mistake. I needed to come down to earth to realize how much I did like this story, but back then I guess I was just too stupid to not realize it. I feel thoroughly bad for not having understood this one-shot immediately, as it certainly deserved. I needed to read the second entry for the contest to understand how much I should have liked this, for various reasons.

The first one was the love and dedication you put down in to your words. Don’t get me wrong, you always do, but this particular story I know that made you get out of yourself and do something completely over the top. This is amazing, and I definitely feel like I’m a terrible reader, commenter, contest hostess and finally friend for not having realized it the first time I read the story. Am I allowed to say I’m sorry? I had no idea back then how much my awful words would hurt you, but it happened the first time with that comment for the penultimate chapter on SOTLYAA, and it horribly happened with my comment to Tastes Like You, and there I went doing it again. I feel like I’ve disappointed you way too many times in our still short friendship, and I won’t ever forget it.

Enough of regret; it won’t take me anywhere.

I still don’t like Gerard for the reasons you already know, but now I change my opinion a bit. I guess he loved Frank at some point, but his weakness is just art. I guess he loves people that allow him to do his art, as drawing is what makes him feel alive and happy enough to love someone. It’s like some vicious cycle that Gerard can’t undo… he loves art, he loves people who make him do his art, he loves people even more when they inspire him and pose for him, he loves people a little less when they stop being as beautiful as the first drawings allowed, he loves people even less when they age and the drawings won’t be a portrait of the ideal of beauty that the Greek started – and then he has to find a new muse. Don’t get me wrong; I know it’s just Gerard following his heart and doing what he knows best, but I still don’t like him because I hate people who play around with other people. Because he did play around with Frank…

So much that Frank got completely blind about everything. Frank didn’t see how much Gerard wanted to just draw him, even when he first knew about the detailed drawings when Gerard was supposed to be doing croquis back at those classes Frank had to pose to. Frank didn’t see how much Gerard kept only making love to him because of the drawings, and I still adore that line: I don't know if we ever made love without him drawing me first, or if he ever drew a picture without us making love afterwards. I still see it as that way of Gerard paying for the drawings, because it didn’t happen in any other occasions. Maybe I’m being way too rude or way too demanding towards Gerard and his love for Frank, but it’s not my fault that throughout the whole story Gerard had made me feel so bad about him.

Frank is a flaw-full character. He let himself get wrapped by nothing more than art, but I guess that’s what love makes you do. I once let myself get wrapped by jealousy, but fortunately I was stronger than the feeling; here, Frank didn’t have the chance to escape beautifully, as he only realized how down the wedding had gone when he found Gerard with Jacob.

“Drawing is not a synonym for fucking, Gerard. Nor is it for loving."
Frank said, but I don’t know how I didn’t pay too much attention to this line the first time I read the story. Frank was so much in love with him that even after seeing how Gerard had betrayed their marriage and had had another young, beautiful, perfect boy being his muse, Frank did not realize that his words aren’t true – for Gerard, fucking, making love, or the simple fact of loving is not a synonym for drawing, not the opposite as Frank mentioned. So once again we’re proved that Gerard is a bad lover and a wonderful artist, but I feel like I’m repeating myself about this.

It’s just that art is the main character in this story, and I can’t avoid it but repeat myself with that. I have to express my loathe for Gerard’s attitude, though he doesn’t do it purposely to hurt Frank but to continue with his art; I have to express my dreadful feelings towards Frank’s blindness, probably cowardliness, as he let himself get fooled by a definitely wrong definition oflove art.

Different people obviously see different things in the same story, but how many people see stories differently only by reading other pieces? If the world is right, no one is gonna make the same mistake I did… for Croquis’s sake. But I still will end my comment the way I ended the other one, because it’s just how it the one-shots ended and how I talked throughout this whole new comment:

Gerard seeks his art, his masterpiece, nothing more.
And that’s why he lets Frank walk away from their relationship… he knows how much he wants to keep drawing Jacob’s young perfection.
I am rather as to how you’re gonna write a sequel to this, because I surely have no idea what to think of the future of these characters. I know Gerard will keep being who he is, and I feel that Jacob is gonna end up like Frank – or maybe he realizes his mistake sooner than Frank. And I feel that Frank is gonna be hurting for the rest of his life, as he had clearly love Gerard with everything he had, but I guess that the sequel will have something to do with the drawings that Frank took with him. I just have the feeling, but my pinky sometimes is a terrible guesser.

Off-topic: I also think that this story was one of the ones that made me review my love of Frerard. It helped to see further into what I think of it, and it helped me to see how true their love might be. I don’t know what is your true opinion in this, but Croquis made me think of true Frerard even with more worship. I found myself hoping that their relationship in real life was like the love Gerard had for art in this one; hopefully, they’re as important to each as drawing ‘Frank’ was for ‘Gerard’ here, and I have to agree with Rosie now. I admit I did’t understand why she wanted Gee to read this, but I guess now that I am gonna support her in that. Probably not for the same reasons, but it made my love and belief in Frerard grow so much that I don’t care about the differences anymore.

Now, I love this, Erika, in ways I couldn’t put into this comment, but at least you got to know I changed my opinion about how you worked with this. I can’t be sure if my words here were any different from what I had written in the previous comment, but I want you to know that my mood and opinion was definitely different – I love this because it is a powerful tale of a heartbreak, and I want you to know that, even if it was too late, I am very glad that I decided to re-read this two times. It was worth every single hour of sleep I lost crying over my first comment.

Oh...Oh shit

So I finally got round to reading this...
And damn.
One day, I'm inventing a magical machine...thing, and I'm gonna use it to steal some of your talent. (Not all of it, because where would the world of mibba be without you're amazing stories?! :cheese: but I'll steal some...because I'm greedy :tehe:)

I almost started crying at the first line for the simple reason that I had an idea that, that was going to be brought up again...at the end. But I let myself forget about that and just enjoy the story without the impending doom and sadness.

I love how naive Frank is in the beginning, the whole, not realising it was a date thing. I thought that was a really good way of displaying the fact that Frank was still young, he was still learning and developing as a person. I don't know, but something about his job I guess just made me associate him with being older before you added that, even though you'd mentioned that he was in high-school when he started.

"I guess. I guess it's mostly about having hope for the future, you know?"
Reading that as part of the story for the first time...doesn't really mean much...it's almost like a general statement, but reading back over this so I can pick out all of my favourite bits to mention in this comment, that's almost like foreshadowing to me. Like...bringing up the idea about having hope for the future without realising that the man sitting in front of him is going to be a huge part of his future. Was it intended like that?

I love how nervous Frank was. It's like...every night he gets his kit of to a whole room of strangers, but then in front of someone that he's gotten to know that evening, he's feeling nervous.
I'm still trying to decide whether I think it's because he knows that Gerard is gay, so is worried that he'll try something...or whether it's because he almost...wants him to try something...

I'm not normally one to comment to much on sex-scenes...I don't know why, I feel weird writing them, I feel weird commenting them; that's just the way I am.
But I have to say anyway...you made that...so beautiful.
It's almost impossible to describe how well you managed that. You kept it raw, it wasn't perfect, it hurt...and that's exactly the way it needed to be. If it had been perfect (in the sense that there was no pain etc.) then I think I'd have stopped reading. But, as usual, you didn't disappoint :arms:

"Croquis, that's how we continued.
At this point I just knew that this beautiful and perfect story wasn't going to end in my favour. It was a harsh realisation, but done so delicately and subtly, I'm not sure how many people actually picked up on it.

I love how you have them in this constant routine. The way that Gerard just has to draw Frank, that is the way in which he expresses his love for him at that point.

When Gerard proposed I had a lump in my throat. I had hoped something like that was coming, but when it did it was just perfect.
I also loved that they had a really big wedding. I don't know if I've read a slash recently where the couple who actually decide to get married have a big wedding. There's almost this aura of "We're gay, it's not totally legal anyway, lets have a small wedding"
I don't like that mind-set in stories. I want it all to be love-filled and "We don't care if it's not legal, we're gonna have a huge-ass wedding anyway :finger:" :tehe:
I'm pretty sure it wasn't intended like that, I'm just saying that it's refreshing to finally see a big wedding in a slash.

Frank playfulness was adorable on their wedding night. When he was saying that he wanted Gerard to be with him and not drawing. I thought that was a really cute and necessary dose of fluff, esspecially on their wedding night :tehe:

I think I started crying at the beginning of Chapter 2.
I was expecting to see that line. It was inevitably going to be there...but seeing it...like actually reading it...I still wasn't ready for it. I almost didn't want to read on, but you have such a compelling writing style that I just couldn't look away.

The first time Frank brings up their problems...even thought Gerard was telling Frank that he loved him etc. you hadn't written that same...passion, that fire. It somehow seemed a lot more empty from Gerards side. Not necessarily like he was out of love with Frank at this point, but almost like he was needing to convince not only Frank, but himself as well

When you made a point of saying that Frank came home early, my heart was lodged into my throat.
But, I will say, much like I mentioned in my comment of your story "Someone out there loves you after all"....You're realism is fucking [excuse the language] fantastic!!!
Thank you for not having a cheating fic where the unknowing husband comes home from work early and decides to go straight to the bedroom. I mean...does everyone do that? Just get home from work and go to the bedroom? I know I don't.

I felt for Frank when he saw that Gerard had still been drawing...just not him.
I knew something was off when Gerard was telling Frank that he couldn't draw anymore. It just didn't seem like a likely story. You don't just lose talent like that, especially with the amount that Gerard drew and the fact he's an art teacher! :cheese:

When Frank walked into the bedroom and saw everything, your sense of realism attacked again. You didn't have him instantly crying and screaming etc. You had him experience shock, because that is whats natural.
When Gerard said "I love you more than anything" I just...that was when the tears fell. That line is so simple...but so specific. He is obviously saying "I love you more than my husband". Ugh...stupid Gerard :grr:

AGH! And the fact he called this 'Jacob' perfect! It shows that the fact Frank had aged had really gotten to and effected Gerards love for Frank. Some people are just looking out for perfection all the time, and unfortunately Gerard is just one of those people.

"He's my life, my muse. I need him, I have to draw him! Can't you see that? I have been happier than ever, since I met him at the school."
Ugh. Fuck you Gerard :finger:
I don't think I've ever hated a fan-fictional Gerard before, but that was just...oh god. I felt Franks pain there. That must have been a stab in the back. Because there was a time when it was him that needed to be drawn, but because he aged, and was obviously no longer perfect, Gerard went out and found something better.

I think it was perfect that Frank didn't condem Jacob. Frank obviously understands how easy it is to fall for Gerard, because he did himself, at a time when he had assumed he was straight.
It really worked that even though it was because of this Jacob that their marriage got ruined, Frank is still looking out for him by warning Gerard not to break this kid.

"Because that's how we ended, with croquis.
Ugh. I knew it was coming, but that hurt. A relationship that was as perfect as Gerard and Franks just...just shouldn't end. It doesn't seem possible that it could.
But that brings up so many questions...I mean...does anything last now-a-days?

For the lucky people it does.
But by writing this you've drawn light to the fact that even the most perfect of relationships can't always last.
Because you go for real not happy. Even if it hurts.
I love that about your work. You're amazing, damnit! :arms: :arms: :arms:

Wow. Just wow. uh god. I think I would marry your writing if I had a chance. Without a question. I loved it. Honestly the best writing I have seen since Shakespeare. All of your writiings should be composed into a book, so the world can know how wonderfull you are. :]

Oh my god, I cried so much from all the raw unbelievible emotion in this one shot, it is most definately one of my favorites, how they start out young and cute, happy all the time. Then to even happier when they get married, but then it starts to fade, at least from Gerard's side, to where he can't even draw his own lover anymore without breaking down or having it be so simple, and just because Frank got a little older, and a little less attractive to him. I was so upset when Frank just broke down and asked Gerard where their marrige has gone, and then I started to cry when Frank came home early and found Gerard in bed with a young beautiful boy, and the 'I love yous' were so sad, because that truly ment for Frank anyway, the man he loved didn't love him anymore, and he had been replaced just because he wasn't as beautiful as he once was. Then Gerard tried to be selfish and say that he was just drawing Jacob but he loved Frank, when we had just witnessed that wasn't true because of Jacob and Gerard making love. I really feel sorry for Frank, I wish he wasn't so broken by this, but I understand why.

And if you get the urge to write a sequel, that would be awesome. But if you don't, just know that I love this, and it was legendary.

Happy Easter btw
<666

XD I think you have the longest comment board ever right here.

This story was simply amazing. I was so shocked. At first, I was surprised in how this was a ferard, since Frank did not start out seeing Gerard as a lover. I did like how he eventually came to love Gerard, but just wow... I loved the full circle in this as well. It started and ended in Croquis. I really can't believe how well and perfectly this worked out. (Frank was such a woman in this, he really was.)

I wasn't too surprised at Gerard's actions, in all honesty. I guessed about halfway through that Gerard was going to end up cheating, just because of your typical writing style. If I didn't know your style, I probably wouldn't have seen it coming, but I could slowly see the turning for the worse, and I told myself to stop after the first chapter, but for some reason I kept on going. Even though I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, I kept on going. It was a pretty stupid move of me, but things happen, you know?

I was so depressed at the end of this. It was such a beautiful story, and it ended in such a catastrophe that it was still beautiful. You are such an artist with writing, I truly mean this. I was completely and totally stunned at not the plot, but how breathtaking it was. A simple writer, a beginning artist, could write the same thing with ease, but it wouldn't be as emotional, it wouldn't be heartbreaking.

You brought something truly beautiful to the story that many people can't capture. You brought life into the story. It was just so incredible... You are amazing.