God. - Comments

This is such a beautiful, twisted work. I absolutly love it, I've read it so many times, I was almost shocked that I hadn't already dropped you a comment. It's just so desperate and saddening, both in a dark and romantic sense, I truely adore it. Many thanks for feeding my morbid curiosity~

Well that was interesting; it really felt like it should be published work. I could not have thought of a better more original way to incorporate Stockholm syndrome. You really must inhabit you character’s mind when you write, their thoughts and mind even in your most twisted stories always comes through clear. Their feelings by the end always sit in my brain in the same intelligible yet garbled way that my own emotions do. Even though I can’t quite put it into words, this story makes me feel as though I am Frank, but I am somehow able to see it all from an outsider’s perspective, Frank’s adoration, his terror, his confusion. Altogether truly amazing as always; I love your stories. :arms:

Fella1:

This was a really good one-shot^^ but do you know what stockholm syndrome is?? :P

Do you know what stockholm syndrome is?
Definition: "hostage's sympathy for captor: a condition experienced by some people who have been held as hostages for an extended time in which they begin to identify with and feel sympathetic toward their captors."

That's exactly what she did here... I feel she got it spot on. Just sayin'.

This was a really good one-shot^^ but do you know what stockholm syndrome is?? :P

DAMN!
I wanted that claim, but once again I fuckin’ couldn’t. RWAR! I’m hating myself right now… I feel like I’m letting you down now, you know? I used to be so damn punctual with my comments, and now I just can’t claim a page. I must have done something really bad for God to hate me like this…
*giggle* How much did that fit in here?! :lmfao

Now, I’m gonna comment with what I told you in my beta-reading, so that anyone else who reads others’ comment get to know what I feel from this story ^^

I think that you’re trying to “fool” us by using the italics. Ordinarily, the italics parts are the unreal parts, but here I sense that there is no reality in the not-italics parts. Why? Well, because he was raped and in the end he woke up from a state of unconsciousness – so maybe he saw God [Gerard] in his sweet slumber of the unconscious state.

Plus, the reference to God it’s at first confusing, but as the story starts to develop, it made more sense. When I got to the rape scene, when Frank is told that he is forgiven now, that he would to Heaven, I immediately thought of that possibility. I mean, the rapist had told him that he would be forgiven, that he would go to Heaven, be loved and accepted there even after being corrupted by a dirty man, so Frank is comfortable enough to dream about God – who is in Heaven.

This is a marvellous idea. Confusing yet astonishing at its best, seriously. It proves that you can not only write long things; you’re good with words for what they’re worth, no matter if you need to tell us too many things. It worked perfectly here, and I do think that making this longer than one rape scene would take away the profound meaning of this. You did a wonderful job with the language, in parts like:

It was silent all around us, the only sounds in the air being those made by us as little twigs snapped under my feet and leaves rustled on the ground. Clouds of fog surrounded our heads as we breathed the warm air in our lungs out in the almost freezing air, and I longed to settle down somewhere, preferably at home, with a nice cup of hot chocolate.

I sobbed, slouching over the bench as I had no longer any will or power to keep fighting. Everything just hurt too much, my body was harmed and my dignity gone. Only my fingers clutched a wooden board in the bench, fingernails digging into the old wood as splinters made my hands bleed like the rest of me”

This made my heart flutter as a response to the beauty of the words you just put together. You are talented like this; I think you were born to write. I don’t know if you believe in fate, but whatever you believe in, I would definitely say that this will be your life. It’s worth every single drop of sweat you might release from your temples and every single tears I might drop from my eyes.

Congratulations once more. I never get tired of thanking you for such beautiful stories
and asking me to beta them :arms:

Oh, Erika. This was gorgeous.

What Gerard did to Frank is supposed to be so... wrong, and immoral, and downright supposed to make me hate Gerard for putting Frank through so much pain because he raped him but... I couldn't bring myself to think any of those things! Does this make me a bad person for enjoying that brutal rape scene?

AHH. You made it perfect, for real. It was everything a rape scene should be... Gerard was forceful, he made Frank hurt, he made Frank bleed. And it was just... beautiful. I feel so wrong for saying that but this piece of fiction was simply gorgeous.

Those opening paragraphs of Frank explaining how he's been to Heaven and met God and was loved by God were so beautiful. I think that's perhaps why I was able to fall so in love with their encounter, even though it was under such an unusual circumstance as rape... Frank's connection with his captor was just beautiful. I felt Frank's pain, but I also felt his adoration and complete love for him.

From the beginning of the flashback, you can tell it's one of those mornings where you can just know something is going to happen. Like, you know that taking the dog for an early morning walk won't be as simple as that; no. Something is bound to happen, it isn't that simple. And sure enough, something happened, alright... someone happened.

"Are you here all alone?" I looked at the man strangely, finding the phrase to be odd if it was meant as a conversation starter.

HELLOOO, Frank! That should have tipped you off right there, pal! Gerard was of course making sure he was alone so he could carry on his plan with him and nobody would be around to notice.

"How old are you?" The man himself looked to be around thirty-five, giving off this air of confidence, yet seeming so kind and calming. Soothing eyes and an encouraging smile adorned his face as he shuffled closer to me, closing the gap between us on the bench.

OOOOH, FRANK. Again, this should have been a warning. I think it was though, seeing as how he answered him breathlessly... but oh boy, he was just the right age. I don't think Gerard is a pedophile, but I do think he's zoning in on boys that are Frank's agegroup, like 17-19ish? You gave Gerard the typical rapist persona, making sure he's just the right age because he surely had the right type...

I got goosebumps and felt Frank's terror once Gerard's persona changed from sweet and calm to cold and scary. I felt his panic, you described it so well. Bravo for that <3

I also really, really felt the absolute love and worship that Frank felt for Gerard! WOW. Your way with words as Frank laid there on the grass looking up into the perfect sky was gorgeous. I to you for that, the description was simply beautiful.

Shh, I'm not gonna hurt you, son. Not as long as you keep quiet," his sickly sweet voice whispered in my ear just as I heard the fucking dog bark somewhere in the distance and the man's fingers grip on my face loosened slightly.

Oh... wow. Gerard is one sick man, though I love the power and aggression that his character holds. He knows exactly what he wants, he does it and gets exactly what he wants because he is that good. I think the fact that he loosened Frank's grip was very important, because he did that to sort of test Frank to see if he'll listen. He didn't.

"The dog..." I croaked out weakly, wishing for this man to let go of me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I worried about my mother's reaction if I were to come home without her dog, but my main concern was of course the man who suddenly pushed me down, face forward, on the bench so that my knees were on the ground.

Oh Frank, you should have kept quiet... he failed Gerard's test, and that's where he got physical. I doubt the knife would have been present had Frank kept quiet. That has to be the most brutal thing I've ever read about Gerard doing to Frank, to be honest. At first I was like "OMG" but... I knew that given the nature of this, it was necessary to prove to Frank this was for his own good. Again, I feel Frank's pain and absolute fright at this random stranger who's definitely about to hurt him and abuse him and use him. The way Frank felt that knife against his thigh and the threat Gerard used to keep him quiet... wow. That was intense. I can't imagine how it must have felt to have written that scene... but it was amazing. I love it.

I'm afraid I must go for now, love, so the rest of my comment will have to wait. I promise I'll be back soon to finish commenting the rest. <3