May 2nd, 2010 at 08:42am
Wow. For one chapter this story had a lot of meaning. It's one of those stories you read twice. The first time you're just desperate to know what happens, the next time you're seeing how much meaning you missed the first time. I loved how you used repetition in this. Once I hit that moment where I reread the paragraphs from the beginning my stomach fell. It's amazing to think how just repeating simple words can give them such a bigger significance.
I'm definitely bookmarking this so I can read it again. It was really beautiful in a sadistic sort of way.
This is a sidenote, but I pictured Frank all dolled up in a little suit and tie kind of thing, since you described him as a kind of momma's boy. But that's beside the point. xD
I think this perfectly describes the kinds of corruption that happens all the time with teens. It's sad, but it's true. And I think you kind of made it a little prettier, if not gruesome.