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  • rocknrolljunkie989

    rocknrolljunkie989 (100)

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    That was so...horrific. I liked the way the story was told, like it was from someone who had seen the whole thing happen. I also liked how the paragraphs were interlaced with the messages Frank and Gerard sent to each other.
    This is a sidenote, but I pictured Frank all dolled up in a little suit and tie kind of thing, since you described him as a kind of momma's boy. But that's beside the point. xD
    I think this perfectly describes the kinds of corruption that happens all the time with teens. It's sad, but it's true. And I think you kind of made it a little prettier, if not gruesome.
    May 2nd, 2010 at 08:42am
  • uarley.

    uarley. (110)

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    Wow. For one chapter this story had a lot of meaning. It's one of those stories you read twice. The first time you're just desperate to know what happens, the next time you're seeing how much meaning you missed the first time. I loved how you used repetition in this. Once I hit that moment where I reread the paragraphs from the beginning my stomach fell. It's amazing to think how just repeating simple words can give them such a bigger significance.

    I'm definitely bookmarking this so I can read it again. It was really beautiful in a sadistic sort of way.
    December 29th, 2009 at 06:03am
  • NorCal Noise.

    NorCal Noise. (150)

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    That very last line broke my heart.

    It was so heartfelt and depressing and sad and winderfully written all in one that I want to hugrape you.

    AND YOU ARE WILLING TO BE HUGRAPED XD

    I wish I had caught this sooner, Sugarfuck. I know I read this but you only let me read the first part.
    I'm positive, because I don't remember the rape part.

    It was wonderful, baby.
    And I am going to be stealing the 'but I wasn't one of the willing' lines, like I stole the tongue-suffocation thing =P
    Just so you know ^_______^

    I love you, sweetie, and I love this!!!
    April 13th, 2009 at 07:40am
  • happilyappled

    happilyappled (100)

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    Damn, I love this story. It's so powerful and intrusive for some of the characters. I mean, Frank changed so much because of some temptations people always try to ignore but never do actually. I loved how your protraited all those emotions so well, and the fact that you wrote this in third person made it all better, because we got to know the facts and the feelings but it wasn't subjective in any way. It was brutal yet exquisite at its best.

    I could write a longer and better comment to this, but I really don't know what to say to this story. Especially because it was inspired in something you experienced, and that makes me think once more about how people get themselves in awful situations for whatever reasons they have.

    Well, in fact, I found in Gerard a very interesting character, actually, a boy who probably didn't know what to do with his own life, and that was why he dedicated so much of his time corrupting others. He was just a fucked-up boy who definitely knew the nature of our cruel world. He was so brutal and made me want to scream so much at him!

    Frank, in his simple way of existing and changing, was another interesting character to know. I loved how he didn't want to go with Gerard and was kind of forced to do it, once again, for whatever reasons he had.

    This was powerful and though I knew meeting people online can be dangerous, I am glad I never had the displeasure of tasting such awful things from technology. I give you my kudos for such an extraordinary story; I simply loved how you described it so honestly.

    Congratulations and good luck with the contest :cute:
    April 3rd, 2009 at 01:07pm
  • So..Not..Phoenix..

    So..Not..Phoenix.. (100)

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    I fucking loved this. It was dark and it was twisted but it was so fucking awsome. I loved the dialouge in the last part.

    dead-in-the-water says: do you remember what we did?

    Gerard didn't realize what he had made from talking to him. He had ruined the other boy's life and made him into another follower, another copy of him who needed Gerard's affection and approval to survive.

    f-iero says: yeah.

    f-iero says: you raped me.

    From what has been gathered, Frank did need the other boy to survive. He was four years younger than him, fifteen to be exact. It's such a shame that at such a young age, he'd already had his heart broken.

    dead-in-the-water says: you can't rape the willing, you know.

    Gerard remembers what Frank used to be like, before he corrupted him. He could be described as timid and shy, yet so outspoken and fierce with his words. I guess that's what really got Gerard interested in the first place.

    f-iero says: i know.

    f-iero says: i just wasn't one of the willing. that's all.

    It was a tottal kick to the teeth...like Frank wants him...needs him and yet hates him so fucking much...And you made it sound like they'd fucked around more then once...and Frankie is just dieing inside more and more...Oh this story was really hot sweetie. I love it.
    April 1st, 2009 at 09:50am
  • Skiba

    Skiba (150)

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    I loved this. I love the way you portrayed all of the emotions Frank was feeling, especially the helplessness and fear he was experiencing while getting raped.

    f-iero says: what's your name anyway?

    And that, my friends, is the question that got Frank thrown into the horrible, ugly side of the world that his parents had tried so hard to protect him from.

    For some reason, i loved this part. I just loved the idea of a simple question, an answer he is entitled to find out after someone he doesn't know has posted on his MySpace, getting him into so much trouble.

    It was also good that you based it on personal experience. I mean, it wasn't good that something along those lines happened to you, but i'm glad that you based it on personal experience and were able to pour your emotions into it. It's very rare that i find a story on here that was based on a real life situation and i think you're very brave to do something like this.

    Good luck with the contest :D
    March 31st, 2009 at 07:00pm
  • equilibrium_

    equilibrium_ (100)

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    This was amazing, as all your other stories :D I love the way you write and the ending was brilliant :D I love it In Love
    March 31st, 2009 at 05:48pm
  • revengefulvampire

    revengefulvampire (105)

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    Hey i just finished this and it was very very good and i enjoyed it Smiley Smiley Smiley
    March 30th, 2009 at 08:53pm