Walk Away A Savior - Comments

Amazing. Just plain amazing. I love the way Mikey tackle hugs Gerard. to cute. It's wonderful.

OMG!!!!!! Am I MIBBA-STALKING you?lolz You got 'mad skills', babe! Marry me or bury me! I love this one too, fuck those haters out there sweeties! You show such a depth and range with the stories,characters, and as always your wordplay is the 'ish, babe! Go forth my phoenix, rising with each challenge and being born anew into an AMAZING writer, I wish I...neither here nor there! I love you and ya got a reader for life!*wonders if my proposal is being made light of, facepalms(I do that A LOT! Hey,I have hella smooth skin)Nah, Anthrax knows I'm being so seriously!* Keep going,babers!

I love this story so far. I enjoyed your other story, Suffer all the children, as well- though this is a much needed mellowed version of my precious Way brothers. Your writing is truly amazing

I'm not really in the mood to read the whole story due to a MASSIVE headache :/ but I did read the first chapter :3. I must say your an excellent writer, I really liked how you captured Gerard's personality in your writing. It was a wee bit confusing but that's alright, my writing looks like pure shit compared to this.

I like where this is going. I don't know how to describe what I like about it, but I do like it.

I'm still reading. I wouldn't be subscribed if I wasn't still intrested.

First of all, I'm so sorry I took such a ridiculously long time to read/ review this chapter. Things have been completely mad lately for me, with exams and revision and coursework and everything...

But anyway, here's my review!

It kind of shocked me when you talked about Mikey being at school at the start. I really had no idea where he was or what he was doing, so going to school just seems so... normal. I don't know, it just really surpirsed me.

"a specific proposition of the night’s escapade" I love that, it just seems so much into Mikey's character to say something like that. I quite like the way Mikey talks in this story :tehe:

This is probably a bit completely off-topic, but I love all the little... vigilantey bits you put in there, like the radio. It just sounds so underground and cool and I love all that shit :XD And Ray being able to find Gerard on the computer... we still don't really know what Mikey and Ray do, and I love the little bits like that. They build just enough tension.

I like Mikey's enthusiasm for trying to find Gerard. I think I've talked a lot before about how close the brothers seem to be so I'm not going to go into that again, but I just think it's a really nice touch. Especially how Mikey just knew Gerard would be in the park.

I don't know why but I find the bit about the black clothes and the handgun really funny. I suppose it's just like Mikey says, so over the top and overdramatic. I like how you kind of have the real world juxtaposed with this dark kind of fantasy world that Ray and Mikey seem to exist in.

Gerard's reaction to Mikey and Ray was really in character. That's another thing you're really good at, you can keep your characters in character really well, just through what they think and say and do. I mean, "too fucking scrawny to be damned masked heroes" is pretty much as Gerard as it gets.

The handuffs made me laugh so much, probably because of the role reversal since your last story, and now it's Mikey tying Gerard up... :shifty Sorry, I just can't seem to separate these stories in my head :tehe:

So yeah, I still have loads of questions about the whole Mikey/ Ray thing and what's going to happen now that Gerard's handcuffed to Mikey's bed (:tehe:). I'm looking forward to the next chapter (:

In my opinion, I prefer having it in first person just because I enjoy having the different tones of the characters, so I would prefer having mainly Gerard's point of view with Mikey ones thrown in instead of third person if you're thinking about changing the way the story's set out, but hey, don't let me stop you if you think third person is best for the story ;)

So yeah, sorry if my review sucked, I haven't read or reviewed anything in a month or two so I'm a wee bit out of practise. But hopefully I'll have a prompter review next time. (:

I LUV THE 4TH CHAPTER!!!!

Well I'm glad they finally found Gerard.
For a minute there I thought he was going to kick their asses though.
Good thing Ray tranquilized him or whatever it is that he did.
I think you should try putting it in a 3rd person POV because well, thats my personal favorite.
Well anyway, great chapter and try updating as soon as you can!

I love the story! I'm glad you updated woot woot!
Soo they finally found Gerard Yay!
Can't wait for more :)

PLEASE DONT DELETE THIS STORY I LUV IT AND IM SORRY I HAVNT COMMENTED BUT PLEASE CONTINUE TO UPDATE CANT WAIT TO READ MORE!!!!

Triple post. Sorry, I have a spazzy computer too.

Sorry, double post.

omgno: Anthrax don't you dare delete this! I know how it is when no-one gives your story time of day and how frustrating it is when people don't comment, but please, try not to let it get you down too much. You can always spam the Story Review thread if you want comments, right? And don't worry about how people can be overly critical in con-crit, it happens. You can get carried away trying to help people, it doesn't mean your story's bad.

ANYWAY. Sorry it took me so long to comment on this one, I've had a majorly fucked up Easter.

I know one of your other commenters said they didn't like how things weren't in order in Gerard's point of view, but I really like it that way. It's all kind of chaotic and it seems to fit in with the narration and his character. It just feels more real.

Gerard's still fascinating me in a strange sort of way. I mean, he talks like a real hard-ass and all, but the way he reacted to the old woman in the corridor and freaking out about where to stand... it kind of shows he has some sort of soft interior. That and how he talks about his brother... it actually frightens me a bit how incredibly protective he is of him. When he's worried about him, he's actually terrifying.

And another thing... I don't know if this was deliberate or not but the use of the word 'twittered'? Interesting considering how fond the real G Way is of doing that but moving on... :tehe:

I'm sorry if you hate The Catcher In The Rye or something or it's not at all what you're aiming for, but Gerard's narration really reminds me of Holden's... just the bad-assness and obsessing over little things... just something that popped into my head when I read this.

To be honest, Gerard's mother freaks me out. I can really picture her standing in the doorway. I liked the reference to drugs- it's something you've only really hinted at before and it really builds up an image of the Way brothers' childhood and not a very happy one. The way you describe the mother is really terrific, especially as a zombie. There's one expression in particular I love- horribly glassy eyes. It just sounds really disgusting and... ugh. I can see this woman so well. The same for the description of the kitchen- I love the things you have lying around, the bills and the gin bottles. I can tell they've been carefully chosen and I like that kind of detail.

And our hero's dramatic escape from the apartment :weird Maybe I've been watching too many movies, but the whole scene kind of played out nicely in my head like that.

I also liked the line about how he'd probably get done for child molestation if he stayed there much longer. I'm not exactly sure why. It just seems like something that really would happen under the circumstances.

So yeah, once again, don't you dare delete this story because I'm dying to find out what happens next and where Gerard goes from here, what exactly happened to Mikey anyway, and about a gazillion other things.

I'm trying to think of something negative about this chapter just so I don't come across as a complete fangirl, but I'm struggling. I don't even think there was anything grammatically wrong or any typos. At first I thought maybe you were keeping the plot away from us a little too much, but going back over it we actually learned quite a bit about Gerard, and even his mother. I think if anything I do want to see the plot moving a little more, but don't let that interfere with any pacing ideas you might have yourself.

Excuse me if this was too long and not very helpful, I've had a wee bit too much to drink tonight :tehe: Anyway, I can't wait for the next one.

Well personally, I don't think you should delete this story, you've hardly even gotten into it yet. You have to give us time before we decide, "Oh this is stupid," or whatever. That review by Oberst. wasn't particularly negative in my opinion but just her stating how she feels about it so far.

Anyway, as for my review on chapter three... Firstly, I'd like to thank you for clearing things up for me on what exactly a vilagante is. Now about that PBS part I understood it but only because I watched those shows as a kid. Other people might not have so there's always that chance that they don't get where that came from.

Other than that it I thought was great! I like the way describe things it gives me more insight as to what I'm supposedly imagining here. One question though, where exactly was his father? Did I miss where you said that or am I just not supposed to know...? Oh God, I'm sorry for how horribly long this is. I know some people hate when I leave those long story comments, though I wouldn't count this as long but anyway, you're doing great! Keep up the good work!

Oh my gosh. I hope you don't delete this story. Give it time. Trust me it's amazing and people will love. I did :)
I can't wait for the next chapter so keep it up!
*subscribes*

I've never read a story like it. Definitely subscribed. I can't wait until the next chapter.

i really love your layout for this story...
lol they look awesome :)

All I can say in reply to you is that I hope you didn't subscribe.

STORY REVIEW

I'm going to start off by saying that when I first read the first few paragraphs I wasn't so sure about how I felt about this. I didn't hate it but I didn't like it a whole bunch either. It just had me on the fence. What I did like in the begining was the way you described what kid would be looking forward to on their eighteenth birthday. That was good. I liked that part a lot.

Throughout the whole first chapter I was trying to figure out what was keeping me from getting really into what I was reading. I guess it might of been the way you bounced back and forth towards the middle of it.

Anyway, I forgot about that last part I’d mentioned up there, you know? What they let me out with? That line made me think "wait, what is he talking about?" and I had to go back and remember where he was talking about what he got let out with. It adds to his character, but personally I think it would have been better if everything was in order.

The part about him being tough and working out in juvie, made me laugh a little. It just seems to be like he was trying to convince himself that he could do it. It was almost forced confidence. I didn't necessarily believe any of it at all, but at the same time I felt bad for Gerard's character. It made me wonder if he would be successful with what he was trying to do.

Right now I’m sitting in this park I used to take Mikey to. Finally! I have a place to picture! The whole time I was reading that I was waiting and waiting for a setting or something. I'm glad you put something in there but I would have loved it if you had written something about what Gerard and Mikey used to do in the park or something that could help us to get a more concrete feeling about the relationship they used to have. That would have been nice.

Another thing I liked was towards the end where Gerard was freaking out over Mikey being fourteen. That was really cute. I could really imagine him going nuts over that.

I'm not sure how I feel about this as a whole, but there were a few things here and there that I really enjoyed. I think that you can really pull this off if you work at it. :mrgreen: