Sorry it took so long for me to review, My laptop was having some issues.
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Could you double space between dialogue? It looks a bit cluttered and hard to read. Also, there are quite a few capitalization and grammatical errors, please proofread before posting. There is a spell checker right in that upper left hand corner of Mibba, so use it. The "Introduction Of The Characters" chapter is not allowed. Please introduce your character using words.
You've got a good story idea, you've just got to know how to execute it.
---- Don't take any of this the wrong way, I'm not trying to be condeceding. I'm trying to help you become a good author.
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Could you double space between dialogue? It looks a bit cluttered and hard to read. Also, there are quite a few capitalization and grammatical errors, please proofread before posting. There is a spell checker right in that upper left hand corner of Mibba, so use it. The "Introduction Of The Characters" chapter is not allowed. Please introduce your character using words.
You've got a good story idea, you've just got to know how to execute it.
----
Don't take any of this the wrong way, I'm not trying to be condeceding. I'm trying to help you become a good author.