This was beautiful. AND I AM VERY VERY HAPPY BECAUSE I JUST LEARNT THAT SKINDRED ARE DOING AN ACOUSTIC SET AT HAMMERFEST SO I'LL BE SEEING THEM TWICE IN ONE DAY!...and this isn't relevant to your story at all. I'll shut up and leave feedback.
Your imagery in the first full paragraph was stunning and it shows how devoted that Die is to Toshiya. A name in itself that describes such an object of beauty. Woah. It's like Die only needs to hear Toshiya's name and that reminds him of how amazing he is. That's just..., it makes me feel all smushy inside :tehe:
I love how relaxed and into his routine he is. I watch him dancing around like he always does, that same old adorably goofy grin plastered on his face. It shows just how happy everybody is, and how at-ease everybody is. I found it amusing that Kyo told him off.
Your characterisation of Kyo in this made me laugh. You've made him out to be this really grumpy character but at the same time he kinda makes me giggle. :XD Kaoru walks off, muttering something under his breath. And the fact that Toshiya stuck his middle finger up at him made me giggle too. I dunno why. :lmfao I like the character you made him out to be.
Wow. The imagery here was amazing. I turn a vivid scarlet colour, matching the colour of my hair, my skin burning fiercely. I'd seriously love to know where you get your ideas of description from, it's really original and I love it so much.
I like how at first, Toshiya is a bit awkward about what Die said, but then he sort of relaxes and I think he loved hearing it. :tehe: And how there's nothing more to say. It's like Die only needs to say that to Toshiya to make himself happy, which he has done. :tehe: I adore Die in this story, he's all happy and smushy and I like it. :weird
This was awesome. I love your versatility with your writing. You can write something really sad, and then go to something really happy like this. :arms:
Your imagery in the first full paragraph was stunning and it shows how devoted that Die is to Toshiya. A name in itself that describes such an object of beauty. Woah. It's like Die only needs to hear Toshiya's name and that reminds him of how amazing he is. That's just...
I love how relaxed and into his routine he is. I watch him dancing around like he always does, that same old adorably goofy grin plastered on his face. It shows just how happy everybody is, and how at-ease everybody is. I found it amusing that Kyo told him off.
Your characterisation of Kyo in this made me laugh. You've made him out to be this really grumpy character but at the same time he kinda makes me giggle. :XD Kaoru walks off, muttering something under his breath. And the fact that Toshiya stuck his middle finger up at him made me giggle too. I dunno why. :lmfao I like the character you made him out to be.
Wow. The imagery here was amazing. I turn a vivid scarlet colour, matching the colour of my hair, my skin burning fiercely. I'd seriously love to know where you get your ideas of description from, it's really original and I love it so much.
I like how at first, Toshiya is a bit awkward about what Die said, but then he sort of relaxes and I think he loved hearing it. :tehe: And how there's nothing more to say. It's like Die only needs to say that to Toshiya to make himself happy, which he has done. :tehe: I adore Die in this story, he's all happy and smushy and I like it. :weird
This was awesome. I love your versatility with your writing. You can write something really sad, and then go to something really happy like this. :arms:
Sorry this feedback was a little bit rubbish.