Strychnine - Comments

I've felt the same exact way as this story. I've written stories and journals very similar to this. I've experienced what you wrote.
So, I understand why it means so much to you.

I've been reading your stories tonight, one by one. I notice in all the details that you would love reviews, but I don't want to give this one a review. It hits too close to home, and to analyze it in such a way would rip away it's beauty. Butterflies are not as interesting when they are pinned inside a frame.

I'm writing a comment as a person connecting to another person, a dreamer seeing a fellow dreamer. Passion is our Achellis' heel, and we're doomed to a life of falling in love with people and things that cannot requite our feelings. We tell ourselves that we'd rather be the more loving one, however, we know this is a lie. We'd like for once, just once, that something we so dearly love to return the admiration.

That man that came to life for the girl in your story, (for you I assume) I also want him to be tangible. I don't want to meet him; I want to look into his eyes, he into mine, and I want the us to understand each other.
We need him to know something, even if he is a mortal like us.

This is for the story review game.
Ok first I want to say wow! For such a short piece it was amazing. Never have I read a piece that has evoked such emotion in me and the fact that it was such a short piece makes this achievement even greater.I felt heartbroken at the end when she realised it was a daydream.
Ok the title was unique and interesting. I'd never heard the word before and the nerd in me made me google it. When I found out the meaning of the word it puzzled me even more. The only reason for usin gthis word for me would be that you meant that her day dreams would eventually be her poison and her ultimate downfall but I think that the fact that you don't mention why you chose this title adds to the mystery that surrounds this story.
The descriptions were so vivid and clear. This story has emotions and you give the characters depth. It's not a flat boring piece to read and you have captured the readers attention from start to finish.
A little bit of con crit because I think that it can be good. It was hard to find anything wrong with this story so the examples i give will be really small things.
Was she— Should this be "was she?" But I love the wordplay between "She was" and "Was she"
Astonishment coursed through her like electric blue and escaped her mouth in a single, whispered sigh. For some reason this didn't read well in my mind the electric blue threw me off.

Overall this piece is among one of the best I've ever read and I look forward to reading some more of your stories. You are an amazing writer. Great job

This is for the story review game.
Ok first I want to say wow! For such a short piece it was amazing. Never have I read a piece that has evoked such emotion in me and the fact that it was such a short piece makes this achievement even greater.I felt heartbroken at the end when she realised it was a daydream.
Ok the title was unique and interesting. I'd never heard the word before and the nerd in me made me google it. When I found out the meaning of the word it puzzled me even more. The only reason for usin gthis word for me would be that you meant that her day dreams would eventually be her poison and her ultimate downfall but I think that the fact that you don't mention why you chose this title adds to the mystery that surrounds this story.
The descriptions were so vivid and clear. This story has emotions and you give the characters depth. It's not a flat boring piece to read and you have captured the readers attention from start to finish.
A little bit of con crit because I think that it can be good. It was hard to find anything wrong with this story so the examples i give will be really small things.
Was she— Should this be "was she?" But I love the wordplay between "She was" and "Was she"
Astonishment coursed through her like electric blue and escaped her mouth in a single, whispered sigh. For some reason this didn't read well in my mind the electric blue threw me off.

Overall this piece is among one of the best I've ever read and I look forward to reading some more of your stories. You are an amazing writer. Great job

Absolutely beautiful.
Heartbreaking, but wow that was gorgeous.

Directed from GD board,
this is just so amazing,
just summing up those feelings like that is simply wonderful.
Fantastic. :)

Short but absolutely brilliant.
Loved it. :3

Haha, funny. It reminds me all too much of the myth of Pygmalion. The guy who scorned all other women and fell in love with his own creation, so all the gods felt sorry for him and made her come to life. Then she betrays him and leaves him.

'Tis kind of the same here, but the betrayal takes not the form of outright abandonment, but not being real enough for her.

I'm not sure why it's called Strychnine, since I looked it up and the definition was of a pesticide that can cause asphycxia and death through muscular convulsions 0_0 Perhaps in the erratic movement of the statue coming to life or something? I'm not sure, but I guess the reason is yours alone.

The ending is kind of expected, as with Pygmalion, but I think it was handled well. Though to make it consistent, I don't think he should have been described as a statue when he turns out to be a drawing. It doesn't fit. Maybe he can be a hallucination, or a ghost come to life or something. More wafting, paperlike.

wide in worship it bugged me a bit coz I was just from church, haha-maybe "adoration" instead? Make it more lover-like, not god-like

She was--

Was she-- Nice alliteration. Effective. Your description suits this story, and it evoked emotion and wasn't flat or boring as narration.

I wonder why it was fairy though? Not angel or god or something... random.

The ink of her daydream was smudged. I think it's supposed to be 'has smudged.' But I'm not a total grammar nazi. Just sounds like it to me.

Sorta reminds me of certain elements of a KTF.

That was wonderful :arms:

No, fairy, don't go.
I really love that line.

Good job :cute:

that was so cool!
and all that stuff that everybody else said (don't wanna sound too redundant :tehe:)

wow, beautifully written, this is a master peice. This is truely amazing, it made me tear up. Im speachless. just wow..

Wow. This was very well written, good job. I loved the ending.