Mm, thought I'd review this whilst I'm sat in my room at gone 1am, and there's a storm outside. Sorry I took longer to review this than I promised. I can hear the rain really loud because my windows are open and I thought that now would be a perfect time to review this because it reminded me of this drabble and how beautiful it was with its simplicity.
I like how this was similar in some ways to the other drabble of yours that I reviewed, Older. Like, they were both saying their goodbyes like in the other drabble, both parting ways. But the situation was just completely different. But I like how it's different too, because he'll be coming back in the end.
The opening was quite ominous, to tell the truth. The rain drizzled on the window pane as a storm roared outside. But so beautiful at the same time. Like, the storm is roaring, but the rain is merely drizzling on the window pane. It makes the moment seem a lot more sensitive and meaningful. The imagery was beautiful, by the way. It was really easy to picture this in my mind, I guess it helps that there's a storm raging outside right now! XD
And what a contrast inside the house! The young woman rested her head in the crook of his shoulder as he continued to exhale his soft narrative. It's all warm and snuggly, and it's like it's all sunny inside the house. It's obvious that the couple are very much in love, I love how you subtley described their body language and how close they are. It's not explicitly mentioned, but you've brought across the whole "they're really in love" incredibly well without even mentioning it! Which in my opinion is a really great skill to have.
I adored her optimism. “‘I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell—” It's not said where he's going, but I think it's a bit of a bad or scary place. Possibly going to war. And she knows that wherever he's going will be hard for him, and she wants to give him some reassurance and support wherever he goes. I think that deep down inside, she knows she can't follow him, but she wants to say this because she wants him to know how much she loves and looks out for him. I loved the simplicity of the statement, it was very to-the-point and beautifully said.
This was really sweet. He kissed the top of her head softly, causing her to move her gaze into his eyes. I love the affection that they share for one another, it's written very naturally and I think that scenes like this are your forte (although I haven't read much else of your stuff yet). I like that you used the word "gaze" to describe the way she looked at him, it shows that she's looking at him with so much devotion and love.
I loved his optimism. “I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.” I think that they both know that time is going to drag whilst they're apart from one another, but he's trying to be optimistic and pretend that time will go quickly when they're apart from each other. I can almost feel him pining for her already.
His sensitivity here is incredibly sweet. “I’ll keep your love with me wherever I go,” he said, moving his face to kiss her softly on the lips. I think that was my favourite line out of this whole piece. It's so sincere and just...awww. I'm sorry I can't really add anything constructive or interesting to this comment, I just found it incredibly sweet and it made me feel all mushy and happy to read. Yeah, I know I'm a sap. XD
I thought the ending summed things up well. “‘—and I'll die by your hand which I love so well.’” They'll never really be apart from each other, even if they're apart from each other then they're still together in each other's minds.
I really liked this one, it was lovely to read and flowed so well. (by the way I saved this review halfway through and went to bed. It's now the afternoon :tehe:)
I like how this was similar in some ways to the other drabble of yours that I reviewed, Older. Like, they were both saying their goodbyes like in the other drabble, both parting ways. But the situation was just completely different. But I like how it's different too, because he'll be coming back in the end.
The opening was quite ominous, to tell the truth. The rain drizzled on the window pane as a storm roared outside. But so beautiful at the same time. Like, the storm is roaring, but the rain is merely drizzling on the window pane. It makes the moment seem a lot more sensitive and meaningful. The imagery was beautiful, by the way. It was really easy to picture this in my mind, I guess it helps that there's a storm raging outside right now! XD
And what a contrast inside the house! The young woman rested her head in the crook of his shoulder as he continued to exhale his soft narrative. It's all warm and snuggly, and it's like it's all sunny inside the house. It's obvious that the couple are very much in love, I love how you subtley described their body language and how close they are. It's not explicitly mentioned, but you've brought across the whole "they're really in love" incredibly well without even mentioning it! Which in my opinion is a really great skill to have.
I adored her optimism. “‘I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell—” It's not said where he's going, but I think it's a bit of a bad or scary place. Possibly going to war. And she knows that wherever he's going will be hard for him, and she wants to give him some reassurance and support wherever he goes. I think that deep down inside, she knows she can't follow him, but she wants to say this because she wants him to know how much she loves and looks out for him. I loved the simplicity of the statement, it was very to-the-point and beautifully said.
This was really sweet. He kissed the top of her head softly, causing her to move her gaze into his eyes. I love the affection that they share for one another, it's written very naturally and I think that scenes like this are your forte (although I haven't read much else of your stuff yet). I like that you used the word "gaze" to describe the way she looked at him, it shows that she's looking at him with so much devotion and love.
I loved his optimism. “I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.” I think that they both know that time is going to drag whilst they're apart from one another, but he's trying to be optimistic and pretend that time will go quickly when they're apart from each other. I can almost feel him pining for her already.
His sensitivity here is incredibly sweet. “I’ll keep your love with me wherever I go,” he said, moving his face to kiss her softly on the lips. I think that was my favourite line out of this whole piece. It's so sincere and just...awww.
I thought the ending summed things up well. “‘—and I'll die by your hand which I love so well.’” They'll never really be apart from each other, even if they're apart from each other then they're still together in each other's minds.
I really liked this one, it was lovely to read and flowed so well. (by the way I saved this review halfway through and went to bed. It's now the afternoon :tehe:)