Miss You Love. - Comments

That was adorable.
I love how she's just going with it until she sees/finds him.
It's like the classic love story that we all wanna find.

Awww, that was so SWEET! I'm sort of jealous of your writing talent.

Oneshot For Oneshot.

I really loved it.
Everything was so beautifully described and I was able to picture everything perfectly, something that almost never happens.

It's so sweet and innocent how much she wanted to see him, so the length was perfect. It was delightful to read. :cute:

Basically, I loved it. This was adorable.

And now, I'm going to read more of your stories, something I probably should've done a long time ago.

I really like this so far and I'm still within the first paragraph. You're a really talented person. annnnd, now that i've finished -- I love how you captured the innocence of pure unadulterated love perfectly. It was beautiful, Vee.

OH MY --- VEE YOU ARE SO TALENTED.

I really loved it, short and simple but filled with emotion and epicness.

Story/Review Game

I already read Last Summer, which is the one you requested on the board, so I just read this one instead of reading the other one all over again. :cute: Hope you don't mind that. Let's just jump right into this.

the first paragraph really gave me an insight into who this girl is. or it at least gave me a good idea. She strikes me as a hopless romantic kind of a person. I love those people. Maybe it's because I'm one of those. i love fluffy stories and this just has to be one of those (i believe it said it was for a fluff contest. :file:). The line that jumped out at me was this one. As much as she loved her hometown in the north-west, it could never beat the excitement London gave her. it really doesn't have to do with the fluffiness, I don't think, but I love the way that she picks London over her own town. I think it's because that guy is down there though.... young love. Bless them.

Gosh. I loved how her mind was racing with what could have possibly gone wrong. I do that all the time, actually and it's such an unexplainable feeling. You think about all these different senarios. Car accident, got his by a bus, mauled by wolves, captured by UFO, etc. And then... you see whoever it is you're looking for and everything is okay. it's so nice and terrible at the same time.

Ahahah that guy seems like a stud muffin. :file: Kidding. He strikes me as the tortured artist with the constant supply of cancer sticks. The part about the headphones and how he was angry and then happy when he saw it was her. That was sweet.

I loved this. It was so sweet, I'm a sucker for fluffy pieces. I thought it was so cute the way she just fit with that kid. They were a sweet couple. I thought this was great work. I hope you won.

One Shot for One Shot:

This was a nice, cute piece. I really like that you were able to create a story and characters with such few words. I got the sense that the characters were one of those couples that are playful and joyous and just...enjoy life, you know? Like...the kind of couple you’d see bike riding in the park or feeding ducks near a lake.

His brown hair was hidden by his black hat, the one she always stole off him whenever he wasn’t wearing it. I really like that sentence. It gives the sense that they’ve been together for quite a while, long enough to have developed habits. Really cute. (:

He had his grey scarf wrapped around his neck, and he was pulling his leather jacket around his body as he stood with his back to the train, instead was facing the board with all the train times upon it. The last part of this sentence reads a bit awkwardly. I think it might work better if it was seperated into a new sentence or if a few words were edited out, like this: ‘as he stood with his back to the train, facing the board with all the train times upon it.’

She walked up behind him, as she got closer she could hear the ‘thump thump thump’ of the music playing through his headphones. It feels like there should be a semi-colon after ‘him.’ Either that or it should be a new sentence completely.

He turned around, a confused and slightly angry on his face, which soon turned into a smile when he saw her standing there. There’s a word missing after ‘angry.’

“I missed you.” He muttered into her ear, resting his head on her shoulder and moving his fingertips across her cold arms . There should be a comma instead of a period after ‘you’ and ‘he’ doesn’t need to begin with a capital letter. Also, there’s an unneeded space after ‘arms.’

I thought it was really sweet. The fact that he is her home, even though her hometown is elsewhere is beautiful, and you can really tell from their actions that they have a very strong relationship. Was it set in Winter, by the way? That's the feeling that I got from the mention of pale lips and her being cold...and that makes it all the more enchanting to me, because I think of hot chocolate and sitting beside the fire place or heater.

I love it, it's amazing, so adorable and just....wonderful.

I love this! It's really beautiful, and I like it's length. (: I like not knowing much about either of the characters, but knowing that they clearly love eachother alot. Not to fluffy, and made me smile. Well done!

This was so cute, even though it was so short! I loved how you mananged to convey how anxious she was in such a tiny amount of words, and how she barely noticed anything around her - she just wanted to see him. It was adorable how she felt like she was 'home' with him; the last line was just great. Well done :cute:

This was really good. I wanted more.

It was rea;;y good and even the length showed how anxious she was to see him.

Great job!

Aw, this was great!

The overhead voice of the train was soon blocked out of her mind as thoughts of being able to inhale his scent, feel his soft skin rub against hers and to be able to look up into his emerald eyes and know how lucky she was filled her head.

Awwh, this is adorable (: It's short though, I wanted to read more aha. I really liked it to be honest ^^ Hope you write another one shot when you have time. :arms: