August 2nd, 2009 at 10:12am
I'm not too familiar with the band, but that was such a tragic story :(
It was brilliant of you to use dialogue to tell the tale; we learned of Aoi's emotions just by his words. It was terribly sad, but beautiful in a sense. Great job (:
When I opened this, I made a face at the format. Interviews, I thought, weren't my thing without more actions to describe the setting and the characters. But then I started reading, and I realized that I didn't need the verbs.
Firstly, the whole JRock thing just makes me all :yah. I was big with JRock for a while, GazettE being one of my favorites. I've read a lot of JRock stories tonight on Mibba, and now I plan on reading more.
“If a question is too personal, I won’t answer it. Some demons…I choose to leave them in the past. Some things…I would prefer not to divulge them to the public. Many things are better left unknown by the masses. Do you understand me, sir?”
That. I love how that panned out. I needed no descriptive verbs, just that little paragraph, to learn he was in charge. I imagined him as reserved and tough, sitting in his chair behind his glasses. But even with the glasses, you could see the haunt in his face, even in his eyes, just by listening to his words.
“Do you miss them, Aoi-san?”
“Miss who?”
“Them. Your-“
“My band mates.”
“Yes.”
“Of course I miss them. Wouldn’t you, if one day you got on a plane, the plane went down, and you got to watch the fires try to swallow up your friends? Wouldn’t you, if you personally dragged each of them from the flames, even after they’d gone unconscious?”
I teared up. The question felt...somewhat heartless to me, even though it was unintentional. And listening to Aoi's responce...heart breaking. Talking about his friends and his lover that way. The description in his words...I could feel his sadness and his anger and his helplessness welling up inside of me. Quite a powerful paragraph there.
“And yet you still smoke.”
“Yes. I still smoke.”
I smirked there, so hard. Cruel irony, kind of. The nonchalant actions towards your own life that tie in with probably the biggest tragedy of your life. I wonder if he kept smoking because of that. To have smoke damage to his organs, the way his friends had it to their bodies.
“What about that ring there, on the necklace?”
“That I will not talk about.”
“Why not?”
“Uruha gave that to me. I would rather keep one good memory to myself.”
Such a perfect sentence, ". . .I would rather keep one good memory to myself."
“Could you give me an ashtray? This cigarette isn’t quite doing what it should.”
The nonchalant, I'm-not-affected-by-this-conversation vibe just...sings off this. :yah
Also, while I have a break from the :yah fan girling (:tehe:), I just wanna say I love the little Japanese phrases here and there.
“No, I am not hopeless. I have plenty of hope right now, except I do not have the gratitude to match it. I am not grateful that my lover died holding onto my hand and I could not go with him. I am not grateful that the best musicians in Japan passed on without a fighting chance without me to go with them. I am not grateful that Ruki’s family has had to watch him in a coma for five months. His burns have almost healed and most of the broken bones have repaired themselves, but still he sleeps, as though nothing can waken him. I am grateful for none of that. I am never grateful for pain...I didn’t even get to kiss Uruha goodbye, you know?”
I can't even...this paragraph was so powerful. It's him stating that he is strong, but then the sentences following...especially about Ruki and Uruha...
“Go ahead and say that I cried. The idea does not shame me. I just don’t want to be ridiculed for my tears… that is all.”
That whole segment broke my heart. He was reserved because of it at first, and then he just...decided he didn't care that the world knew he was crying. That the world knew he was affected by it. Bonita.
The whole bit about "Cassis" and Uruha's solo...
“No, I- He loved me so much that, for our anniversary, a month before the crash that claimed him...good God…he went out and purchased a beautiful music box that played ‘Cassis’. When I opened it, I found a note inside. On the…on the note, he’d written…he’d written ‘even if….even if your feelings grow distant tomorrow, surely my…surely my love will remain unchanged’. Without the breaks, because of course, a man does not cry with his writing.”
That was beautiful. And sorry for this being so long and rambly, but...
Wow.