June 17th, 2009 at 09:14am
ouch!
lol
House of Syn - Comments
-
-
June 17th, 2009 at 09:14am
-
i loved it :D i cant wait for more im still sure that bri dos own a porn shop tho lmao cant wait for more hun :PJune 17th, 2009 at 03:29am
-
Alright, so this was one hell of a pick-me-up, especially since I just failed an exam. I probably wouldn't be failing if I had spent time studying instead of reading updates, but you know...that's just a minor detail...
YAY I got the comment award! Hahaha, sorry though. I have this horrible tendency to ramble. But I'm glad to know you're thinking about the things I mentioned. I didn't look at it from that perspective, but you DO know your characters the best. This last chapter makes it seem much more plausible though. She lives her whole world pretty much online, so the tissues make sense now.
"Oh God," Brian said, looking truly afraid. "We have got to get you into the real world. Quickly."
Dude...I laughed out loud at that. But it wasn't as funny as:
"So you're saying I'm not pretty enough for him, and he wouldn't be faithful to me,"
I laughed SO hard at that. Wow, talk about jumping to conclusions! Valen is so socially awkward I just feel umcomfortable reading sometimes. It's like, "What? How can you NOT know?!" Just like how it's, "What? How can you NOT know that he's into you?!" Seriously. It's blantantly obvious that Brian has a crush on her as well. I was SO upset that he had a girlfriend though. Ask losingXmyXreligion if you don't believe me; we were reading this story together, and the both of us wer OUTRAGED. Here I came along, expecting some crazy, kinky, Syn sex story, and here you are, interjecting an engaging, suspenseful plot and turning it into a well-written story with substance! What is that?! Why can't a girl just find some long, meaningless sex story, huh? HUH?!
LMAO okay I'm joking. Well, only half-joking. I am actually really glad that you've turned this into such an amazing story. It seemed so cliche when it started out, but now you've gone and thickened the plot by bringing Zacky. By the way, good call. Everyone nows Zacky is the better man =P Hahaha. Okay okay, sorry. Habits die hard. But it was funny to read Brian's reaction when Valen was like, "Beautiful green eyes comment. That was a huge tip-off. So was Pinkly liking her. What an adorable dog =] although I hope you're not going to make Ichabob hate her. That would make me cry, because Ichy is just as cute...Oh well. Okay, I should stop rambling now. I'll just start hypothesizing now! Haha, this is my favourite part, even though I was wrong last time. I guess I can live with Zacky being the DJ. I just wanted Zacky to be awesome at mixing drinks so he could just get everyone drunk...lol. It's okay, Jimmy would be an alright bartender. I just wanted the Rev to be the DJ so he could do some crazy dance moves...
Right, back to my point. Hmmm...I think that Syn's going to try and give her a makeover. Valen's already got a personality that interests him, so when he tries to give her a physical makeover he's gonna turn her into his dream girl! Hopefully *crosses fingers* Haha, wow I can't believe I'm routing for the break-up of Baby and Brian. I feel like a homewrecker. Oh well. Clearly, if he couldn't remember her name, they don't belong together. Plus, everyone knows Brian was only mentioning her so much so that he wouldn't forget he was dating her; Valen clearly affects the memories of guys. All Brian's friends are asking about her! Awesome. I hope her and Zacky do hook up though. I mean, who's gonna turn down sexytime with Zacky Vee? Seriously? I'm pretty sure that's against the laws of...physics or something 0__0 I don't know, I just want something sexy to happen!!! LOL God now I just sound like a pervert...
I'm not gonna lie, I'm totally hoping she shows up with bells though. I know Brian told her not to, but I want her to show up with them anyway. Just for shits and giggles. Besides, she's got a great sense of humour; why wouldn't she?June 16th, 2009 at 11:50pm -
Sorry I didn't comment earlier.
Busy.
But I LOVED the updates.
Update again soon, please?June 16th, 2009 at 04:31pm -
hahaha
niceeeee.
can't wait to see what happens with zacky and brian.
:DJune 16th, 2009 at 09:17am -
amazing story! cant wait for more, especialy with the bells.. lol :]June 16th, 2009 at 08:04am
-
hmm, he seems to maybe like her?!June 16th, 2009 at 05:30am
-
OH MY GOD!! BEST COMMENT I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!- x.Kris.x:
- $20 bucks on Matt being the bouncer. No, make that $40! Haha, although I now feel like you're gonna change the bouncer to Johnny, just to get that cash. Oh well. Hmm...as for the rest? I say Jimmy is the DJ, and my sex idol Zacky Vee is a bartender. I just feel like those fit pretty damn well.
So I just started reading, but I'm pretty much in love with this story already. It's hilarious. I love how realistic and grounded you've made your characters, and the amount of detail you put in is amazing. I'm actually honestly squirming in my chair as I read about her horribly embarassing actions. God, talk about klutz! I can totally relate. It ALWAYS happens, and it's ALWAYS in front of the sexiest, god's-gift-to-women guys. *Hangs head in shame*
Wanna know what? I'm surprised Brian hasn't opened a porn shop yet. I feel like the A7X guys would make excellent adult store business owners. Seriously. Can you imagine how many regular customers they'd have? I am, of course, including myself in that count.
Although buying toys is not something I do on my own. That's just awkward. Not as awkward as those kids though. They were just mean. I'm not gonna lie, I totally thought something was gonna happen with her boob stuffing (like, they were laughing because they could see it or something). As much as I am loving Valen (great name, btw), I feel like that was an odd thing to do. I know she's got a little bit of a self-esteem issue, and she's nervous and a little desperate, but let's be honest here, what 24 year old would use tissue pads? Your writing style is informal, and that's great, because it helps keep the story realistic, but let's keep little details like that real as well, hmm? I think anything from a push-up to a waterbra or something would be better...I just want Valen to stay 24 like you've established, and not revert to a 16 year old...you know? If not, maybe change the age you previously wrote down or something? Sorry, I'm a sickler for consistency. It's like saying Valen, the 24 year old, is in love with bacardi strawberry. You have to be aware of age. No 24 year old would be caught dead with one (minus girly sleepovers where everyone gets together specifically to have an excuse for horrific, weak mixed drinks lol).
But that's about it. I'm really enjoying this story, and I can say that I totally feel Valen. I'm glad that she's different; means she experimental *wiggles eyebrows* hahaha! I can't wait to see what happens as the club!
i love that Kris.
AND I LOVE THIS STORY!!!
i need more.
please?June 16th, 2009 at 02:49am -
i really like this story! its kinda cute, and i love the thought of Syn owning a sex shop... lolJune 16th, 2009 at 02:46am
-
Awww!
She's soooo cute.
I hope the best for her.
Score one for Brian for not being a meat head :]June 16th, 2009 at 02:44am -
"Well, no, it was just an expression...Why, do you want me to? I mean, I have some -"
I loved that line! I can so see her showing up with bells on lol. And that's one of the reasons I love her.
I was so glad when I woke up from my nap and found that you had updated. It was like a little present.
Was it just me or did Brian seem a bit... disappointed that she doesn't have a crush on him?
And she's right, things would be so much easier if they'd all, especially him, just been nasty to her. But now she'll get a taste of what the real world is like. I can't wait to see what happens with that lol.June 16th, 2009 at 02:42am -
this story is amazing!!! I am so glad someone recommend this story to me. It just to bad that Brian is taken by Baby. I can't wait to see what happens when she wakes up..
*Subscribes*June 15th, 2009 at 11:54pm -
yippee for Zacky!June 15th, 2009 at 07:02pm
-
sweet update!
uh-oh bri bri's taken
poor valen; zacky will save the day.
can't wait for the next update. :DJune 15th, 2009 at 04:54am -
I just found this and I absolutely adore it! It has become my new passion. I had another favorite story but I think this one is going to make me cheat on it. And then we'll all run into each other and it will be this big, dramatic scene.
I love how clumsy she is. I can personally relate to that.
And damn Baby! I wouldn't hit her myself because she seems cool but I would probably find someone to do it for me lol.
I wouldn't mind passing out if I could wake up to Zacky leaning over me ;)June 15th, 2009 at 04:35am -
new reader loved it cant wait for more :D *subscribes*June 15th, 2009 at 04:13am
-
jimmy: bartender
matt:bouncer
zacky: dj?
oooh, loved!!!
while i don't play WoW, cuz it would kill my computer, i do love Diablo II, so i know the terminology of gaming, lolJune 14th, 2009 at 09:11am -
whoaaaaaa she got an almost date.
she's a cool story chick lol
I think;
matt- bouncer. obviously haha.
zacky- dj
jimmy and johnny- bartenders.June 14th, 2009 at 08:40am -
When you said that, I already knew it was gonna happen so it made me laugh so hard. At least the contents didn't fall ON her.... :lol: I almost changed it because you guessed it, but she needed to do something to make up to him. ;)- cookiexlove:
- she'll probably just embarass herself again. like act cool but knock a shelf over and the contents fall on her :)
June 14th, 2009 at 07:26am
All in all. Awesome chapter. And I am now going to nag Kris to read this. And read my comment. Because I never EVER leave long, detailed, rambled comments like this on people's stories so this is like...big.
LOVE IT! More soon, pretty, pretty please?!?!?