Drink of the River - Comments

I never read slash, ever, unless it's a yaoi webcomic, so here goes...

I know that you often say in other threads that you dislike when people point out the layout too much when reviewing a story, but I often point it out when I feel that it at least adds a little something to the overall mood of the story - which I believe it did, here. I especially like how you broke up the story into small segments and titled them as such, and the stone background; the theme was still well-represented. Well done.

The way you have the story set up also kind of reminds me of The Fountain. Separate events nonetheless drawing from one another and reflecting, and you made it all flow together very well. I especially enjoyed the way the second and third scenes worked together - his voice taken away from him in one, and merely deemed useless in another.

In fact, Ryan's silence throughout almost the entirety of this story is rather striking (as was the point, I know, aha). Broken only by the written thought or two, but still silent to Brendon until his voice was actually needed at the end, to lend honesty. Beautiful.

I quite liked this. It read almost like a moment, though it spanned days via Ryan's perspective. Everything just kind of swimming together and nothing really breaking up the time properly, because it probably seemed to go by just like that for Ryan. I also like that we didn't really see the lead-up to their breaking point; we know what the problem was, and why Brendon left, but how it started and how long it took for that breaking point to come about are left up to us. I dunno, I kind of feel like Brendon at least stuck around for as long as he could before he peaced out. Though I wonder if this is the first time they've been through this scenario.

I'm babbling, so I'll stop now. Overall, however, a great story. I don't often read many fics on Mibba that tackle present-tense narrative well, and yet you did so beautifully.

This was amazing. Very original, I think! The Gods and Goddesses thing fit the parts exactly, ike dear pallis. said. I think this story was very catching. I didn't want to stop reading! Very awesome! :D Great story!

Wonderful. The God and Goddesess names fit the parts exactly. =)

wow.
that's all i can say.
i usually don't read this genre, but if i did i'd say you set a standard for it.
this is truly impresive writing, and rare creativity.
good job, and keep it up =].

I really liked this
I like how you went into detail, but not too much detail, which is nice. I like how it was broken up into little sections, based on Gods and Goddesses. (I read the things in the smaller font after I read the one-shot). It's interesting how you connected what Ryan was doing to the Gods and Goddesses.
I'm not good on doing detailed comments, so I'll end here. But I seriously enjoyed reading this. It was well written. :]

New story.
Ryden.
Inspired by the River Styx.
I'm sure most of you probably don't read Greek. The name of the 'chapter' was "Dionysus".

The other 'headings' were Greek god and goddesses' names. (In small font below. Quote this post or highlight and cut and paste to read if you're interested. (Oh. And song in the player was "Catalyst" by Anna Nalick.)

Alectrona; goddess of morning or "waking up"

Atë or Aite; goddess of foolish acts

Asclepius; god of healing

Eosphorus; god of the morning star

Eris; goddess of strife

Hypnos; god of sleep

Morpheus; god of dreams

Efreisone; personification of olive branch

Eos; goddess of the dawn

Happy [?] reading!

xoxox
-Dru