June 24th, 2009 at 08:47am
Very original.
I loved it.
I, honestly, have to keep my mouth shut with the pointers, because you need very little pointers.
Keep doing what you do.
Wheel Love - Comments
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June 23rd, 2009 at 10:08am
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That was... amazing. Did I tell you I'm really glad you put this up? Because the other day, I was thinking how amazing this story would be if you wrote it, and look, my prayers have been answer!
First off, the title. Wow. I actually laughed, it's so clever! And it definitely gives some indication to what the story is about. :pat:
I kinda smiled when I saw the main character's name, I'm happy that at least in one world, fiction or not, you and your wheel chair guy find each other (:
And the way you described him! It was just... amazing, it was like he was there, he was real. Props for you on that, because I got a fair image of what he looks like and phoar! Go your conscience, honestly. :tehe:
I kinda laughed when I realised that two of the teachers have the same name as two of the science teachers at our school. Was that on purpose, or did it just happen? Either way, it was wicked.
One thing I really loved was how the others reacted to him being in a wheel chair, because that's a very realistic event to happen. I mean, I can imagine a wheel chair kid in our school, and even if he was attractive, smart and funny, people would constantly be looking at the outside, because that's what people do. So well done on that!
I also feel really bad for Ashley, because I can imagine that living with a "retarded" brother cannot be easy, but then I think that at least Ashley and Jared will have a special bond because of it, and I can't wait to see them interact!
This is a really amazing piece of work Ashleigh, and you should be really proud of it! I really can't wait to see what happens next!
You did ask for some constructive criticism, and everything was so amazing, I couldn't find anything wrong! But one tip, don't try and rush it so that they can be friends or however the plot line rolls out, but don't drag it either, if you know what I'm saying. Try to find a really good balance so it's suspenseful, yet satisfying.
I love it, Ashleigh, I can't wait for more! :arms:
xoxoJune 19th, 2009 at 08:20am
Ashley's parents are such bitches, seriously, and the Nazi-thing made me laugh! :tehe:
They are friends now! THEY ARE FRIENDS NOW! AHHHHHH! YAY!!! I'm smiling so hard my mouth looks like a capital U! /song reference.
But really, it was so cute when they were sitting under the stars together, so romantic!
And to see Ashley and her little brother get along, even if only for a little while, was really great! I seriously hope they can interact further in the story (:
But things are definitely gonna get awkward with them if Jared is going out with her best friend! :/
As always, my dear, you have delivered an amazing, heartfelt, wonderfully written chapter, and I really enjoyed it! I have no constructive criticism for you because, well, it was just that fan-freaking-tastic!
I feel so proud to call you my friend, you are so bloody talented!
I seriously cannot wait for more! Oh, and I'm really sorry I didn't comment this earlier!
Ba da ba ba da, I'm loving it!
xoxo :arms: