Rapture - Comments

Ahhh, the layout was so lovely! I adored the checkered background. I had to read this when I clicked on it and saw Greek names and such. I adore all things Greek. I’m a total nerd like that. The first thing I noticed when I read the first paragraph was the beautiful imagery you put across. I loved that; I loved all of the details and the way you set everything up. As I read on, I was sooooooo excited to see the allusions to the Trojan War. I sort of got all giggly and excited. And then I laughed at the end, because I kept thinking of the gods playing a joke on some silly mortals going along. This was brilliant, and I loved it very much!

<3 Haven

I was smiling to myself as I read the altered Greek place names, the characters names and the terra cotta pot. :) I think how you approached this was pretty neat, and the idea of the pot consuming anyone who touched it. That was great. There are a few things I wanted to point out as I was reading the story. For an allegorical account, I'm not too sure what the story's from - so forgive me if this seems like it's wrong - but I felt that Attie/Athena was a little too frantic than how she's usually portrayed in Greek myth. I would have thought it was the reverse - Hera being frantic (because she wasn't the best mother in myth), and Athena a little more headstrong. But that might jut be me and what I've read in text books about the two women.

Another thing was that you capitalized words to emphasize their importance. It would have looked a lot better if you italicized the words. And there were a few places where the dialogue wasn't spaced out - where it had been spaced out in earlier paragraphs.

But other than that, I think it was a neat little piece, and I liked that it was reminiscent of Greek myth, but placed in that modern - albeit bizarre occurrence - setting. :)

Good stuff.