July 10th, 2009 at 03:39pm
awww! so sweet! This is basically my brother :)
i love how relaxed Andreas is about the whole thing.
Poor ozone layer :(
Princess. - Comments
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June 24th, 2009 at 06:35pm
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:lmfao
Loved it! Cat is such a drama queen :XDJune 23rd, 2009 at 10:12pm -
Two hours is too little time :shifty
And I'm bad on reviews and such, but I'll leave comment at least? :shifty :cute:
The beginning with them cuddling in the bed was so sweet, for about half a minute before Eric's princess behaviour showed out :tehe:
It's cute that Andreas avoids to argue with his little princess, he only lets him act like the selfloving woman he is; meaning he won't get hurt :XD
As I stand there, putting so much hairspray into his hair he'll have to sit up to sleep tonight, I can't help but worry about the ozone layer.
Oh yes, I get your worries Andreas, this is all Cat's fault, let's settle for that. And :lmfao @ him having to sit while sleeping, the image just have me laughing my ass off :tehe:
It was so sweet and fluffy, and I can clearly imagine all of that happening, and it's just
:arms: June 23rd, 2009 at 02:10pm -
:crazy: GAHHHHHH.
He's such a princess. :tehe: He's so freaking...gah. Andreas should have smacked him one. :tehe: But...I love it. As with everything you write, babe, I love eeeeeet.
:arms;June 23rd, 2009 at 10:29am
Aw, the first line is cute. It makes me want to read more, because it's all fluffy and sweet. I don't know whose talking at the moment, but the word "squeak" is adorable in this context. :cute:
“Mm. Morning, you,” he mutters, wrapping his fingers in the blanket.
“More like afternoon,” I reply, smiling.
For some reason from just this little piece of dialogue I can totally tell that this is Whiplasher talking. :XD I can so imagine Cat lying around in bed, and mistaking the time. The few words in this part still manage to show there is a close relationship here, from the use of "smiling" and the image of someone wrapping their fingers in a blanket creates an innocent image.
I love the following bit with the "Oh shits" :XD It makes me laugh because you can tell that there is about to be some serious freaking out and you want to know why!
He rolls out of the bed, taking half the blankets with him and falling over when he tries to walk with them wrapped around his ankles. Cursing, he throws them off his feet, getting back up and pulling open the closet doors.
This whole paragraph made me grin. I think it's really good how you've described everything, you've made me as a reader see how desperate Cat(Well, at least I'm pretty sure it's Cat!) is about getting ready. The way he tries to walk although it's near impossible is humourous to say the least. :XD
He comes storming out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. The shower turns on, and I shake my head.
He's such a princess.
I like this bit because it refers back to the title, which is always good in my opinion. :cute: I like the way that the narrator is understanding of his partners behaviour, and finds it cute? There isn't a hint of annoyance, at least so far, at his partners worry for getting ready and he's just soaking it up as if it happens on a regular basis. This makes them seem stronger as a partnership, and makes me think they've probably been together a long time.
“What?” I'm almost laughing. The entire bathroom looks as if a bomb has hit it. There are three cans of various hairspray on the floor, and a broken shampoo bottle near the sink spilling it's contents on the tiles. He got frustrated again, obviously.
I think this bit is entertaining. :tehe: It makes me wonder whether my boyfriend would be quite so understanding if that was to happen in our bathroom! :XD Probably not! But the way that you write it, describing the mess, but having Andreas laughing makes me laugh along too. I think it's nice that he doesn't get angry at Cat. :cute:
“Don't you fucking laugh at me, asshole,” he snaps. “Come help me.”
I like how you've made Cat, although slightly pissed off at Andreas, still ask for help in making himself look purrfect. (I had to, I'm sorry!:XD) It only creates a more modern fairytale type romance too me- damsel is distress, hates to admit it, but needs help from the hero. :tehe:
As I stand there, putting so much hairspray into his hair he'll have to sit up to sleep tonight, I can't help but worry about the ozone layer.
I like the fact that there is even more hairspray, although earlier it was described how there was THREE bottles of hairspray on the floor, and Cat still wants more! Which is insane, but Andreas isn't worried about that as such but more about the Ozone layer- which I thought was a nice touch to the story.
...when he comes twirling out of the bedroom. Twirling.
Good old Cat never fails to impress does he? :tehe: I like the use of the word Twirling. It adds to his idea of being quite egotistical, as after the amount of preening he's done, he's now officially happy with his image.
I'm allowed to chuckle this time. “Perfect, Kitten. Like a princess.”
“Good,” he smiles, pulling me up from the couch and pressing our lips together.
I thought this was a lovely ending to the story. :cute: I thought that it was sweet, not too overly fluffy, but once again it refers back to the title. I also think that it's nice how you make Cat pull Andreas up from the couch, almost as if now he's got all his hair and what not sorted he is back in control. Although, I think that Cat always had the control in the story. :tehe:
I can't think of any constructive critism to give you really! I thought that it was written well, there wasn't any grammar errors that I saw and you took the idea of something that most couples go through and made it different and orginal. I would've maybe liked it to be a teeny bit longer, just so I could've got an idea of their relationship a little more. Maybe some more dialogue between them? Or, something like Andreas following Cat so we could see what Cat was getting up to a bit more and seen him getting more and more frustrated as it went on. But, that is just me desperately trying to think of something but the story was lovely and made me feel all warm.
It's also a huge plus in my opinion that it caused me to think about my own relationship, and I got to see bits of myself in Cat! And that is something I love in writing, when I can see myself in characters.
Overall, this is brilliant! And I apologize if this was hard to read, it's my first ever long long review but I thought this was be a good oneshot to start with, and I wasn't disapointed. :cute: