Title - Navigate Me Extremely relevant, slightly kinky. Worked the charm of the entire story well.
Rated: 10/10
Layout I have to admit, I wasn't too impressed with it. It put a whole damper on such a wonderfully scripted story. It would've been nice to have a banner and maybe a two toned background.
Rated: 5.5/10
Content Gah! Yay; my favorite part! Okay, so where do I start?
Hmmm...
What skin is most sensitive, so I can let my lips dance across it. ^omigod. F*ck, this made me horny.
Let me feel your body relax, when I tell you that it’s alright, everything will be okay. ^it feels as if something's missing. Maybe an inserted that between the comma and everything?
Soft, assuring kisses turn heated and sloppy and your hands are everywhere. ^hehe. I blushed when I read this. The memories. Hmmm...
Now everything is gone, and it’s just me and you. I’ve been here before and I just want to take you, but I’ve been here before and I don’t want to break you. ^it sounds like a song lyric, almost poetic.
Tell me when it hurts, so badly your body feels like it might split in half. Tell me when it feels good, so good you feel like you're soaring. Tell me when to slow down, or when to speed up. ^ahaha.My mind is thinking naughty, naughty things. Facepalm.
Navigate me through your body. ^wonderfully put. Kudos on the great one line summary.
Overall: I love, love, loved it. Probably only one of the two one shot smuts I've ever read on here. The descriptions had me all tingly, and it was so obvious, by the way he was asking, that the boy truly cared for the girl.
Just a nit pick though, you could space the paragraphs out even more, like splitting the first one into a few and the next into a few more. You don't have to take this suggestion into account; it's just sort of a personal preference.
Review as per personal choice.
Title - Navigate Me
Extremely relevant, slightly kinky. Worked the charm of the entire story well.
Rated: 10/10
Layout
I have to admit, I wasn't too impressed with it. It put a whole damper on such a wonderfully scripted story. It would've been nice to have a banner and maybe a two toned background.
Rated: 5.5/10
Content
Gah! Yay; my favorite part! Okay, so where do I start?
Hmmm...
What skin is most sensitive, so I can let my lips dance across it.
^omigod. F*ck, this made me horny.
Let me feel your body relax, when I tell you that it’s alright, everything will be okay.
^it feels as if something's missing. Maybe an inserted that between the comma and everything?
Soft, assuring kisses turn heated and sloppy and your hands are everywhere.
^hehe. I blushed when I read this. The memories. Hmmm...
Now everything is gone, and it’s just me and you. I’ve been here before and I just want to take you, but I’ve been here before and I don’t want to break you.
^it sounds like a song lyric, almost poetic.
Tell me when it hurts, so badly your body feels like it might split in half. Tell me when it feels good, so good you feel like you're soaring. Tell me when to slow down, or when to speed up.
^ahaha.My mind is thinking naughty, naughty things. Facepalm.
Navigate me through your body.
^wonderfully put. Kudos on the great one line summary.
Overall:
I love, love, loved it. Probably only one of the two one shot smuts I've ever read on here. The descriptions had me all tingly, and it was so obvious, by the way he was asking, that the boy truly cared for the girl.
Just a nit pick though, you could space the paragraphs out even more, like splitting the first one into a few and the next into a few more. You don't have to take this suggestion into account; it's just sort of a personal preference.
Rated: 1000/10.
Yes - I'm that lame. Hope this works!