I just found this story and fell in love! The only thing I have to say is the picture you put up for Noah no longer works (which really isn't a big deal.) Update soon!!
i just came across this story and it's beautifully written! you're very talented. you make me feel like a hundred and one emotions in one chapter but without making it crazy and jumbled. this is great and I can't wait for your next update
Okay... semi-new to Mibba and I've so badly been wanting to reach out to my fellow writers and share thoughts. I have a general aversion towards fan fiction and Mibba seems just choked with it. I've also had my fill of vampire stories for more than my one life time. So thanks for writing something truly original.
I'll give my one critique so that I can end on a high note. I'd have to read it again to be sure, but I didn't see any glaring grammatical mistakes. But I'm not a hawk-eyed grammar/spelling nazi either... I'm not a huge fan of the format and how punctuated it is. It's... kind of like riding a boat on choppy waters when you read it. The content is good... format was a bit jarring from my perspective. But maybe you wanted that.
Now on to the actual story. Having only read this first chapter now, I can tell you that I already like your style of character development. In a fairly short chapter, I think you've said quite a bit. I can see there is a tie to your reality in the words - the depth of which only you can know really, but it makes it a lot more compelling that it's at least obvious to the reader that you're feeling in your own words. I absolutely loved the list and it makes it all the more sad that the 'author' is a character gone before the story has even really begun. I will definitely read more.
I luv u ... No really I Do ! Please keep this story going I love it ! I'm subscribing ! Also, why do I get the feeling that Justin an Bridget are seeing each other?