Your smile is reminiscent of Summers lost and interpersonal, yet intentional, blood baths.
This line was very interesting to use as a start because it caught my attention quickly not a line you would expect as a opener.
You feel like lightning.
This and other similarities and metaphors really enhance the story. Make it look more poetic rather that a story. I loved the way you used figurative language to make a picture.
Sometimes I think you’re really a China doll that Grandmother sent to me from Ireland. Maybe you have a key hidden in your back that lets you walk and talk with such perfection. Your skin is clean like a porcelain plate on the dining room table. Pre-painted make-up on your cheeks and your eyelashes are made from antelope fur. I am convinced that you taste like cherry pie.
This happens to be my favorite paragraph because you compare the person to a china doll so well!
Overall I love this story and you did a very good job I applaud you!
Your smile is reminiscent of Summers lost and interpersonal, yet intentional, blood baths.
This line was very interesting to use as a start because it caught my attention quickly not a line you would expect as a opener.
You feel like lightning.
This and other similarities and metaphors really enhance the story. Make it look more poetic rather that a story. I loved the way you used figurative language to make a picture.
Sometimes I think you’re really a China doll that Grandmother sent to me from Ireland. Maybe you have a key hidden in your back that lets you walk and talk with such perfection. Your skin is clean like a porcelain plate on the dining room table. Pre-painted make-up on your cheeks and your eyelashes are made from antelope fur. I am convinced that you taste like cherry pie.
This happens to be my favorite paragraph because you compare the person to a china doll so well!
Overall I love this story and you did a very good job I applaud you!