Future as Bright as Halogen - Comments

NIna I freaking love this. A lot. Keep on updating as much as you want!!

Oh my goodness, you're amazing.
UPDATE SOON; cause my comments will be a lot. XD:]
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Sorry that you had to wait a little bit for this. Hopefully from now on, feedback will be a little bit more prompt. :tehe: By the way, I absolutely love the banner and layout!

I had a good feeling about this story as soon as I read the first line. I like it when the first line of a story hooks the reader in, and as soon as I read this I had a feeling that this may be a bit epic. You know that you have a problem relationship when you see your boyfriend’s face more often on the television screen than you do in person. Instantly the scene has been set and as soon as I read this, I knew that this was going to be a little bit different. I sense that something is wrong, but at the same time it's told in a light-hearted way so it really makes me wonder about what's going to happen.

And it's established that Macy knows something is wrong. But in the end it was Macy who finally hit the nail on the head when she boldly declared to her friends and family: “I’m living in a shitty relationship.” I like the fact that she's able to accept this, it also tells the reader a lot about her character. She seems to be a person that tells everything like it is, she doesn't sugar-coat things and she states the facts. And the fact that she "boldly declared" it to her family shows that she wants people to know that Chase isn't as amazing as they all think he is.

I loved the introduction of Macy, where it's revealed about what she does and that she has friends in high places. She really comes across as an interesting character, she seems to know all the right people and can stand on her own two feet - what with once being a personal assistant to some stars. It shows that she's an organised person who can organise others and help them along, and is also a reliable person. She's very much a people person and she's also pretty popular.

She thrives on organisation and worries when things aren't just so. These were just three things that Macy could pride herself on, and so naturally she was upset when one aspect of her ordered life started to crumble. She likes everything to have a natural order and she worries when something is out of her control because I get the impression that she likes to be in control of everything that goes on in her life. And she doesn't have this control because of Chase.

I love that she knows it was a bad idea but goes through with it anyway. Macy knew right from the beginning that dating Chase Savage was a bad idea. But love does funny things to you and maybe she thought that she could change Chase for the better. I think that in hindsight maybe she knew that things could take a turn for the worse. But she goes through with it anyway.

This shows that Chase isn't one of the most reliable or organised people ever. The first four months of their relationship was blissful, in so far as that Macy did everything for him. The fact that Macy did everything shows that Chase is a spontaneous person and doesn't have a set plan. He takes things as they come and I think this makes Macy feel a little uneasy, which makes her want to do everything for him so he has some sort of a routine. She's just used to planning stuff for everybody and this is just routine for her.

This was really sad to read. Macy would wail into a Starbucks coffee cup whilst her friends shot her pitying glances, none of them daring to say that they thought he treated her more like a convenience than a girlfriend. Despite the fact that Macy regularly speaks her mind, her friends don't have the confidence to tell her that maybe this relationship is a bad idea. They just feel sorry for her but can't pluck up the courage to say what's on their minds.

I loved the introduction of Wentz! When Pete Wentz gave you an order, you followed it without question. It's like he's some sort of all-seeing god, in a way. He's quite a commanding character, somebody you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of, and he's somebody that you just have to listen to. He's a character that everybody just seems to be in awe of, I adore how you've written him!

Macy just wants a family of her own. She revelled in their wholesome family life which was unperturbed by reckless stunts even though Pete and Ashlee hardly constituted the average American family. She looks at what Pete and Ashlee has, and she wonders why she can't share something like that with Chase. It's just something she yearns, but Chase always hurts her and half of the time he isn't even there. It's sad to read that Macy's witnessing Ashlee and Pete's relationship blossoming, whilst hers is falling apart.

Ashlee is just Macy's rock. “Ashlee what am I going to do?” Macy said with despair. I think that Macy has a little bit of dependence on her, she always relies on Ashlee to get her through the tougher parts of her relationship and this moment is no exception. She's worrying - she asked her in despair - and this makes me wonder whether this is the breaking point of the relationship between Macy and Chase, and whether it's all going to fall apart.

The ending was kind of ominous. She longed for something simple, something normal. Something that did not resemble the mess of a relationship that she was in right now which left her with the feeling that her future was pretty bleak. It's a contrast from the light-heartedness at the start of the chapter and it's really sad to read. It really makes me wish for Macy to find her happy ending - something she won't find with Trace.

Loved this. It's brilliant. Can't wait for more! :arms:

Love it!
Fun stories are always good. :D

I'm definitely liking the sound of it so far.
The Glass Passenger is one of my favorite stories on Mibba, but this seems like a nice change. Plus you can't go wrong with Gabe Saporta.

Subscribing and I can't wait to read more.

Wow, i don't think I can compete with the comment above me. =]]

This is a wonderful start. I cannot wait to read more!
Update soon?

As you know I'm a total fangirl for Gabe and he is my favouriteeee band boy of all time ever, so I'd obviously be reading it! Especially with you writing it. (:

I loveee it so far. I like how your characters always have an element about them that's different. There's always a consistency within each one you create, and it's a good technique to use, and one you seem to take advantage of in every single story you write. I always love your main characters, they're so easily likeable straight away, and it keeps the reader on their side throughout the story, no matter what ends up happening.

The opening made me think she was with Gabe at first! So it was a nice twist to find that she was with Chase, who sounds so funny, really well done with his character.

I liked Macy's backstory as well. It linked everything together, and it helped us readers understand her relationship with Chase much better. How they met was nice as well, I'm glad they weren't childhood sweethearts or anything overly cliche like that, they simply met and then formed a relationship, nothing fancy or dramatic, which kind of reflects on Macy's personality. She seems like a reserved girl, she's not over dramatic and doesn't seem diva like, but then again, she probably wants to be as far away from that as possible since it sounds like she deals with them on a regular basis with her job.

Macy also sounds like a really organised person. Like everything has to be going the right way, it's sort of controlling in a way. I could have this totally off here, I don't know. But she sounds like one of those people that prefer things to be going her way, and if something becomes out of line, she freaks out.

It was all part of the thrill of dating someone who got away with such a name and who lived such a reckless life. I loved the backstory for Chase! He sounds like a Bear Grylls alike. He lives for the adrenalin rush. But their relationship seems like it's going down the pan, as he's choosing his adrenalin addiction over Macy. I think the 'thrill' of dating him seems to have worn off, it was quite the novelty being with someone who fights crocodiles and jumps from skyscrapers, but now it's sounding like it's all a bit old to Macy, she wants something new.

I really liked this part, “It’s like I repulse him! Why the hell would he pole-vault off a cliff if he were happy? Happy people don’t do that!” She's doing the typical, 'I blame myself' thing, and it's something so many people do. It adds realism to her character, and gives her more dimensions. She sounds like a real person when she's saying all of these things. It is natural for her to blame herself, even though she shouldn't. cutting off her connections to friends that reminded her too much of Chase that, also adds to what I said before, when she's upset she doesn't want to be reminded of him, but he's always there.

And hell yeaaaah for the Wentz! This was another backstory I liked. Again, I'm happy they weren't childhood biffles or anything like that. It seems like Macy meets a lot of people in her life through her job, so I feel like if that was taken away, she'd lead quite a lonely life. Sorry to copy a lot here, But still the times when Macy got to live in the Wentz’s guest bedroom were often the happier times of her life because she felt like she was needed and respected. It seems like Macy just wants the simple things in life, all she wants from a man is to be respected, she wants someone who makes her happy in the long term, not just a quick fling.

The sudden change in Chase has got me wondering. It seems completely out of character for him to be sudued. He's one of those people that's always on the go, and full of energy all the time, the life and soul of the party. But something seems like it's sucked all of that out of him and he's suddenly become the exact opposite of his usual self. It's strange, but it's making me want to read more to find out why!!!

left her with the feeling that her future was pretty bleak. A nice ending, to leave me wondering about even more! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens, and where the lovely Mr Saporta comes into this. I'm also looking forward to what happens between Macy and Chase, it seems like things are going to be a little complex between them, and I'm wondering if their relationship is going to be coming to a close sometime soon.

This is lovely, Nina. You knew I was sold the minute I saw Gabe on the banner (: but it's all so promising and I'm excited to see how everything is going to turn out as the story unfolds. You've got my subscription for sureee.