Could We - Comments

I feel the absolute need to comment on this story. As a lover of Incubus and therefore Brandon Boyd I fell with open arms while reading your tale. So very stirring and poetic in many ways. Much like the man himself. I think you've captured him astoundingly well; his wit, his introspective nature, his heart. I was moved beyond words while reading your story. As a mother, the chapters that center on the twins, their personalities, their traits, the degree to which he adores and marvels over them touched my heart. I've been there, with my own little one. Outstanding job. I only hope that you will one day sink yourself back into this story and continue writing it. It doesn't show up as a completed tale which honestly excites me because I would love nothing more then to follow it where ever it goes.

Hands down my favorite chapter of this story. This one stomps whatever previous one I claimed was my fave... forrealz. I weeped, I empathized, with our narrator of course. I correlated with almost everything Brandon conveyed. I was saddened by many of his revelations. I'm greatly saddened by how his love for Jolie has emotionally hindered him beyond belief and so extremely, that I'm surprised he hasn't slit his wrists yet. The way he wallows in self-pity is awfully unbecoming, yet I totally get it. I absolutely love this story... but for some reason this chapter felt like the end. Even as I began to read it, I felt like this might be it. Another thing, I heartily disagree with is Brandon's idea that Jolie would have been a better mother than he is a father, to his daughters. This chapter only confirms how unstable Jolie was or is... atleast for me. She's fuckin' nuts! in so many words. Solely a writer as proficient as you could evoke such a vehement disaffection towards a character from within me which could only be described as Jolie Franklin. She reminds me of my dearest Briana D. x1000... I am not worthy, my sweetest Locust. I think to myself sometimes, How could I admire someone so deeply when I don't even know your real name... lol. You are an enigma, my dear. You are my unicorn. Thank you for writing so brutally and so deeply. Always express what you want and never apologize for it no matter what anyone says, including me. I'm curious to see what else might come of this tale... Please delight me with more soon.

reality was a nightmare I’d willingly sacrifice my life for to defend their fantasy landscape.
This is such a Noah Bennet thing to say. (Noah Bennet from Heroes) Everything he does, good, bad, he does to protect Claire... the daughter he loves so dearly. This pretty much sums that up. How is he not a good father?

People don’t know, but I do know one thing. I know that people love to be treated like they’re worthless; people want to feel a void so they can pursue something worth fighting for. And often, they don’t know what is worth it anymore.
Yes! Oh my gosh, YES. Absolutely perfect.

Human beings are fascinating creatures. We believe in love, but so often we destroy the feeling the moment it begins to exist in our reflection. We strive for friendship, but we ignite the ten letter word with animosity – a fuel which has no beginning, nor an end...
Not just these sentences but the entire paragraph was fantastic. It's like you're reading pages from my personal journals. Kindred spirits... I'm not worhty I tell you.

I am comforted by knowing I am very imperfect and fucked up. This is who I am, and this is who I’ve grown to be.
One of my most favored paragraphs, beginning to end. You're a fucking surgeon with that keyboard.

I have mostly praise and little to no criticism to shower you with, sugar. I hope you don't mind the magnitude of this run-on review. I've been questioning my abilities lately and unfortunately. I wish to continue forth with my stories anyway. I am daunted by the reactions my future chapters will provoke. I aim to please yet I aim to dissappoint, not consciously though. I don't know what's up with me... we'll see. Mucho, mucho, Amorrrrr, like Walter says. xo

My goodness... Well, I think this goes without saying but I'll say it anyway... Phenomenal. Just glorious. Another brilliant chapter to add to the bunch. Please don't re-write it! This one made me tear up, even though I do in fact loathe Jolie right now. But I also have the tendency to forget how young she truly is. 21 right? And a mother of twins. Plus, she's on her death bed... allegedly. Sounds completely hopeless. Her abandonment of Brandon and the girls seems undoubtedly unforgivable. However, I know you have a trick up your sleeve, you saucy minx. I can feel it brewing!

Can't wait for the next installment. LOVE you!

Three chapters! Jeez Louweez, I owe you big time! Brandon and his daughters... Oh heavens! Reading about them warms my heart. I love what you've created. It took a gigantic pair of cojones to conceive this relationship between them. I know I would not have been able to do so. I respect you immensely as a writer and friend. Oooooh Jolie... The birth was tits. I laughed, I cried, A-mazing. I'm still at sea as to what may happen but I rather enjoy that. I'm stoked for more! This is my favorite story, hands down.

soo good twinsy, this was soo good. i applaude you my sweet love. i totally loved it!

"She had been his partner, the loyal confidant of his burdened heart, his muse for his scattered writings, and the only person he would spend the rest of his life with. And now they shared a different world beyond lovers, and they were parents together." that made me get choked up.

twinsy, love, you are amazing and this was totally worth the late night. i loved how brandon got so blissful when the girls were born! it was so perfect. as was the little exchange Jolie and Brandon did after the girls were born ahh it was so good!

i love you, and feel so honored to have had such a big chunk dedicated to me. thank you from the bottom of my heart :{D i hope to talk to you soon. xoxo, and discuss more of ocd and being hispanic and being perfect for brandon haha

Ah! dear twinsy, my computer was acting rather stupid and trying to pick a fight with me because it would not for the life of it or myself let me comment on your lovely update! so now i shall write to you :) can you imagine my face at the notice that you had updated?! i put my hw reading book and ran to the computer to indulge my brain in your awesome writing, ahh i loved the update. i am so thrilled, when Lynette ran and was so mesmerized by the piano and asked brandon for a dollar. ahh i could imagine that so perfectly, i was in awe! oh twinsy you've done a marvalous job so far, which i stand and give you only a small portion of the applause you deserve.

i love you and cant wait for rest of this lovely story :D xoxox

I miss this story. I'm going to re-read it again right now :)

Haha! I have no idea what to say in turn that that; I'm hoping you'll slightly forgive Jolie for what is to come, mostly because I'm going to change the pace of the tale and defer it completely! But thank you my darling, I hope you can forgive me for the change of events... I just had to!

But you two are my reasons for continuing treading in this entangled subterranean of scrambled words, which I will continue to make the dedications pour until the end of this tale, and which will continue onto the next story, and then the next!

Brilliant update!!! Tis a gift indeed... Alright, I'm going to get right into it... So now that I'm guessing that there's a possibility that Jolie is still alive, I have this slight feeling of dissapointment. I can't even explain as to why but it's this nagging feeling and I was like "What the fuck are you!?" Then I recognized it as somewhat of a reluctance and despondency. Maybe it's me channeling Brandon's resentment towards her more than his longing. I don't know but It's definitely a true testament to your writing abilities.

The whole interview part I totally dug. It's so easy to be candid and lose yourself and ramble on about the things that make you excited, and especially that you love. I think that was an interviewer's dream lol. I'm so stoked for your next update. That last line really got me.

Thank you for returning to this story and the dedications that make my heart swim... xo

"Love showed up unexpectedly for us, I suppose. I knew I fell in love with Brandon the minute he asked me if I preferred to sleep in his right arm or left arm when we were watching Sex and Lucia one afternoon because he wanted to know which side he would allow me to have on his bed.” i melted. this made me giggle and coo with love. you really know how to make me turn to jello. :)

"Somehow, I’m completely accepting of washing his laundry every Friday because he absolutely loathes washing laundry most of the time, and he’ll keep me company by singing show tunes. So far, I think my favorite is Make Them Hear You from Ragtime; he definitely got into it while I was folding his boxers and Bruce’s blanket.” i died. lol

Ooooooooooooooooooh Twinsy, this is the best early christmas gift EVER

i love it, i love you're diction. god i've missed it so much! i wish i could craft my sentences like you do. i mean, bohemian einstien! genius!

just the way you describe them, the way they talk, the way they even curse, its so unconventional and other worldly. like its this cryptic language they only speak and understand. its brilliant.

i love this line btw : a false reality of delicate admiration. its really vivid to me.

also

this line made me laugh too "We’re going to have a miniature hippie running around who looks identical to me!"

ohhh twinsy, in alll i loved every inch of this update. i love you, i love this and i cant wait for more.

now its my turn to give you the standing ovation of awesome-ness. (or mantasmagorical-ness XP)

Hunter:

I'm back to commenting your beautiful fanfiction :D I honestly don't know why I stopped reading it. I think it's because I bookmark the stuff I read and a little while back I deleted everything and didn't remember to add every story. Anyways, post more soon! Why are you in Mexico? :)

xo

Well, it burns my heart ever so brightly that you are back and reading it! I tend to bookmark things and leave them untouched for awhile -- which sucks so much! -- but I always return to them and the stories can be quite as glorious as ever. But I will be writing more as soon as I am settled into my dorm and everything! But I was visiting family in the deepest trenches on Mexico, which left my writing skills slumbering the humid nights away while I was empty without writing my tale! But now I am back and fully ready to tackle more of my story head on now! :lol:

I'm back to commenting your beautiful fanfiction :D I honestly don't know why I stopped reading it. I think it's because I bookmark the stuff I read and a little while back I deleted everything and didn't remember to add every story. Anyways, post more soon! Why are you in Mexico? :)

xo

i must agree with URAFever, with the whole tearing up thing. i was like"...am i about to cry?" and the answer is yes. i was, i had to blame it on allergies :P cause my mother walked in and asked why suddenly i had watery eyes. i think telling her because of brandon would've been to odd for her. lol

anyway moving along twinsy. you've made me want to wish i was Brandon's child rather than his wife. because you truly made his love for the twins so pure and ,just like URAFever said, awe-inspiring, you cant help but wish you had a piece of it to hold in your hand and cherish.

this chapter is truly my favorite so far. its left me speechless twinsy! you're so friggen fantastical, i am left speechless in how to describe this chapter. its everything i wished for and more. if there was ever a way for brandon to ever read this, i hope he finds it as soon as possible. because i think even he would sit down and cry a bit and then wonder if he in fact had wrote this, hehe.

i cant wait for you to come back to california, and hopefully by then, our mountains have been resuced.

i love you!

Your dedications swell my ego, dear. I'm growing quite fond of them... You're giving me a toothache ;) Love ya <3

First things first... WHAAAAAAAAAHH?????? Is Jolie alive? And if so where did she go? Is she in a coma? Did she abandon Brandon and the girls and run away somewhere? Confusion... I would really appreciate an answer to all these questions that now plague what once was my peaceful mind.

This chapter had to be my favorite so far. The relationship between Brandon and his little girls is nothing short of awe-inspiring. It's completely honest. I can't fathom where you bring this out of yourself to write b/c I know you're only 18. It's as if you had little twins of your own running about. It feels so real... like i'm reading an autobiography. This chapter actually made me weep actual tears... That's rather difficult for me to do... But I enjoyed it nonetheless. Update soon sweets!

xo

Great odin's raven! A dedication!? To ME? How seriously wonderful! Thank you sooo much. It means the world <3 It's paramount to me to know that I inspire you in even the smallest way. I'm just ubberly addicted to this story. It's one of my faves. Jolie is the balls. She's the perfect example of the hormonal witch i'm going to be when i'm with child. It's gonna be great.

Brandon's only sin was beauty and they had paid a high price for it.

Loved that. Brandon's insatiable and fucks like a bull ;) I'm surprised that none of my females are preggers.............. yet... haha.

Update soon! Love Love Love xoxo

i love you, i love you, i love youuuu you're sweeter than ice cream!

i gasped at the end! darling i feel so honored to have that chapter dedicated to me. :)
and that chapter is amazing, i do indeed feel the guilt in Jolie, and somehow understand how she's torn between ripping his brains out and smothering him with kisses. :)

that part where she calls brandon lol "incompetent, malnourished, asshole of a father to her children" i laughed. lol

hurray for the update

Well hell's bells, I wasn't expecting an update this soon... Tremendous! I did a few air humps before I read it in celebration. Anywhooo... Oh boy, this one made my little black heart ache. I could seriously feel his pain, especially towards the end. There's so much more to be unveiled... It's giving me a belly ache. Update soon ;)

xo

darling ,i loved the update!

i want to know more! i want to know what happened to jolie! i want to know so much, i think i like lynette a bit more than i like camilla. haha but both seem like charming little girls lol.

but ahh you must update soon! :D

sword.and.the.faith:

"and Brandon nearly fainted five minutes ago. He's such a vagina." - i almosted peeded my pants. lol that was hilarious!

i loved, loved, loved the update! i cant wait for moreeeeeeee. :D

hahahaa! I was so gonna quote that! You beat me to it! Great minds think alike! I love you <3

ANYWAY! Night's of Columbus! That was a fun one. I LOVE Jolie. She's hormonal as all hell right now and I can't get enough. I simply adore unhinged women. All my female characters are a little round the bend, a little broken, but who the hell likes ordinary people? It's typical, it's bland, no thanks.

This story is unlike any I've read in a while. The concept I mean... Knowing about Jolie's imminent demise doesn't upset me but only makes me more enthralled, if that makes any sense. I wanted to write something like this when I was done with my 3 other fics. I was inspired by Farrah's story and her struggle with anal cancer. I was thinking something like diary entries or someone documenting the characters journey through the ordeal... But I don't know anymore... Well chich, kudos on another fine chapter and i'm giddy for the next. Toot-A-Loo!

xo