Holly - Comments

wow, I haven't commented here for a while...

I wanna slap Tom...and Oli for that matter, because Tom know's about holly's secret and oliver does too...well at least that's how it seems

have I ever told you that the way that you're writing is really intriguing...I don't know it's one of these stories where isn't a whole chapter just full of conversations (becasue I don#t like stories like that :D), but it's still REALLY interesting and makes me want to read more and more
:D

Definitely didn't get a notification. :( *pouts*
I was so pissed at Holly for saying that she was going to tell everyone that tom 'raped' her. I was willing to jump in there and slap her. lmao.
Her buying clothes was so cute, and the fact that Tom went into her room and read her diary, well, he deserves a smack too. lmfao.
Update soon! <3

Ahhhh, yay! An update! That was awesomeeee.
Tom's finally standing up for what he believes in. Geez.

Yay! I finally got down to reading the most recent chapter, :)
First of all your author's note made me laugh Penguin biscuits are like plain chocolate bars, not the cruel practice any of you might have thought of.
Haha! Mmm penguin bars but still haha at that ^^

I loved the chapter once again, I always do, you never seem to disappoint me - which is good!
Oh and I like the new banner, :)

I like how you've made Tom start to doubt what he did with Holly, even though I want them together so badly, I just like getting into his head!

“You didn’t take me to see the badgers yet,” she suddenly spoke, “you promised.”

“I didn’t promise, Holly,” I replied, “I just said maybe.”

For some reason I feel he was getting a bit edgy with her, if you get what I mean!

And he was looking through her diary - I bet if me or you had one he'd have already read and memorized it, haha - I did like how you described her diary though, from when she was young up until now. And that the entries slowed down when her parents passed away, :(

“In art we’re doing painting, and the topic this week is animals,” she suddenly smiled, “Can you guess what I’m going to paint, Tom?”

“Oliver?” I grinned.
Lmaoo!

“If you tell, then I’ll say that you raped me,” she glared nastily.
Oooooh what a little bitch! :x

I'm so happy he told her straight for once but I'm also so scared to find out what happens when he tells, he is telling right?

But she did throw quite the hissy fit!

And sorry this comment was super late, I'll be better next time!

:D

She bit her lip, thinking it over for a moment, “In art we’re doing painting, and the topic this week is animals,” she suddenly smiled, “Can you guess what I’m going to paint, Tom?”

“Oliver?” I grinned.

that was hilarious. :D

I wonder what Tom would think if he read this story. haha
I'm not sure if I said this already, but it's easily one of my favorite stories

Looooving it! The sex scene was awesome.

Well done :D xx

I'm not a fan of the Sykes and I don't normally read anything labeled drama or tragedy... But I'm not even through the first chapter and I'm hooked. :shock: Well written and sounds like a good plot!

CHAPTER 21:

The atmosphere you set for the scene where Holly is about to meet the Sykes' family is very nerve-racking (still bet i didn't spell it right), and since i get immersed into everything well written that i read, I felt the emotion that you were intending to its max. You are so talented (:

If I hadn't said it before: your choice of vocabulary is mind boggling.
You use words that are in my own vocab, but i just always forget to use. You resurrect them, and I realize oh man, i've gotta step up my game and write like that.
Yeah, i said it: you really are my inspiration.

The interactions between the characters that you create makes it more realistic than i've read in quite some time. I can clearly visualize the expressions that they make, and at the same time, what's going on in their head by those expressions you've conveyed for your readers.

The ride in the car to their residence was so awkward, let me add that.
AWKWARD.

aaaawww, when Carol said that holly should get back into ballet lessons, it was the cutest moment ever. It was great to see that they were so welcoming and willing to fill her wants and needs. it shows how loving they really are.

Also, the description of holly's room was so great; i could picture it, which is the initial intention of a writer: show, not tell. I love the idea of a pink room, because not only is it fit for a girl, but i feel that it adds to the childish aspect of her personality that i mention in the last comment.

And let's not even begin on the fact that oli practically caught them in the act, but thank god, he didn't. I felt that wave of emotion again, and when i found out that they were safe, it was a whole "whoo, that was a close one." moment.

Overall, this was amazing, as usual :)

HATE MYSELF FOR THESE LATE COMMENTS
i know it doesn't really matter anymore, but here's your review for chapter 20.

Let me just say that you never cease to amaze me.
Seriously, you begin this chapter with holly, once again, and with tom recognizing her infinite beauty. Sometimes when i read, it feels like they're the only two characters in the story, because she is all that he can think about.
You do an absolutely fantastic job with keeping his obsession very intense and real; showing that he has a real problem.

It's actually such a problem that he doesn't really percieve it as so.
Does that make any sense?

And also, I find the bad relationship between tom and clara to be fucking hilarious. I believe that any chapter to any story should include some comedic relief, no matter how minor. This, my friend, was what i was looking for.
I do wonder, however, if her hate towards him has something to contribute to the plot. I don't know what, but i have a feeling. Or maybe i'm just over thinking it haha.

We learn more about Holly as a person in this chapter. She's impatient and all over the place, and honestly, sometimes it irritates me and sometimes it makes me chuckle. Just the fact that he still loves her; that it never changes, shows the reader the extent of his love. BRILLIANT.
She's so childish for her age, and you really accentuate this (did i spell that right? i don't even know lol)

Holy shit, YOU'RE A GENIUS!!!!
I'm serious man, the problems trying to figure out the different currency?
That probably passes most writers' minds while writing, and yet, you're observant and clever enough to use that to your advantage and make it a scene in the chapter. I applaud you!!!!

Man, I could just go on and on about what an excellent job you do with your writing, but i'd be here all day and my fingers would break off.
so let me just simply say that YOU, my friend, are phenomenal.

Sorry it took me so long to comment love!
At first I was a little weirded out that she was sixteen and named a badger toy. lmao. But when they actually did what they were wanted to do for a while, I didn't feel she was as young anymore. You wrote that scene beautifully.
I cannot wait for the next update! :P <3 <3

you did an incredible job on this chapter, really. i like how your sex scene wasn't quick and sleazy.

amazing.

Wow i can't beleive they finally you know did it
Awww Badgers <333
And I'm soo glad Tom isn't near Luke or David i think we all knew that but anyways i can't wait see more soon
clara

tee hee, oh my Katie. Oo-er I didn't think you were going to even use half of that, tee hee. It's those Damn books tee hee. OOOOOh Katie that was amazing, although chptr 20 was way more..... that chapter 19 and chapter 21 is...well ya tee hee (that's all good btw.)
Ok anyways tee hee you could have warned me!! jeepers girl, wow!!! hahaha loved it.

Woah, that came as a surprise,
but honestly, that was brilliant,
I love this story so much that I get excited every time my email comes through to tell me that the new chapters been posted.

So thank-you. (:

Ahhh, I’m so behind on your updates, but it does make for some nice reading material. :P

I’m so glad that all the hairspray fumes haven’t gotten to Oli’s head (much) and that he’s finally noticing how evil David and Luke are. Along with the fact that David is miles away form Holly calls for a victory dance!

In chapter 20, your description of Holly’s antics at the airport was phenomenally written! Holly’s whining reminded me so much of my little brother if we ever have to wait for something. Just the way you built up Luke’s annoyance with Holly had me growing irritated with her. But Holly’s remarks were hilarious none the less (“I would, but I don’t understand all the funny German money,”).

I don’t know what it is about the last two sentences, but they always make me smile.

“ “Holly, come here,” I smiled.

She first looked up at me with her big blue china doll eyes and then looked upon my beaming parents who I could already tell loved her.”

Even though you reminded us that Tom’s parents are technically her guardians now, the last bit of chapter 20 reminds me of when a boy introduces his girlfriend to his parents for the first time.

I’ve stated this before, but you know how to perfectly craft your words together to create a string of emotions in such a smooth manner, it’s a bit ridiculous. But ridiculous in an amazing way. :P

Just in last chapter, Luke seemed just about ready to slap Holly out of frustration, but now that he’s leaving her, he’s taken on this role of the older brother he is supposed to be. My guesses are he’s either extremely bi-polar or a damn good actor.

Excellent chapters as always!

CHAPTER 19:

I'm just gonna tell you again, because I just can't get over this, is the fact that you incorperated, of all things, badgers into this story.
As if it couldn't be anymore beautiful, and then you do add in something as simple and unexpected like this and it makes it all the more better. I live for the small stuff like that, and it really helps with your ultimate goal to make this story original and unforgettable, right?

Not that you would need badgers for that anyway, but it definitely is fascinating.

But onto the actual chapter, i thought it was an excellent idea to show the other side of oliver; the side that readers thought was unexistant in this story. He just appeared to be a big douche bag, but it wasn't until holly's well being was questioned that a more caring oli arrived. the reason why we all love him :)

but you get to see it at it's highest in this chapter.
he voices his suspicions of david once again, and even went through with a strategy to have her live with them to keep her from getting hurt again.
Tom acting like he doesn't know what's going on in order to get oli's perspective was nice also.

but uh oh, it led to a fight; him thinking that tom didn't care, and the irony totally killed me. I like how you wrote this, for you could have taken the easy route and just had tom break down and tell oli that he knows what's going on and they could both cry together and yada yada yada.
But I knew you would never do such a thing.

Instead, you created even more conflict then from what there already was, and now not only were we dealing with holly's safety, but also the relationship between tom and oli. it adds to the dramatics, and i think now is an excellent place to do so.

you are just doing such a phenomenal job with this story, and you fully deserve everything that you've recieved.

yay!!! you will be getting 3 comments right now!!!
:D

brace yourself.

“She has a temper,” Luke smirked

Watch it Luke, I has a temper too.
Hehe, :D

I loved it how Holly was nervous at first but eventually came out of her shell a little but not too far as to say "Oh, by the way Mr and Mrs Sykes, your youngest son, who you'll soon see as my brother has had a fumble with my breasts!"
If she had done something like that I think it would have been a tad bit awkward.
Hehe.

Has this story got worse? No
Has this story got better? Yes.
Is the O on your keyboard annoying you? Yes it has gotten even worse!

I like how you've displayed Ian and Carol's personalities.
Well done!

I was able to imagine her room really well, hehe.
Pizza and chips, yum.
And haha at Oliver almost catching them but also that isn't very good.
I didn't like how Tom went along with Oliver but understand why he did.

Their tea sounded quite humorous too, Holly falling asleep whilst Oliver and Tom have a mini food fight, haha.

“She’s just getting ready for bed now, so don’t either of you go barging in,” she warned in a low voice.

“We weren’t going to,” Oliver put in before opening the door to his bedroom.

I bet Tom wouldn't mind barging in, , hehe.

It was a bit of a challenge for Tom when he was going to bed but he finally did it, hehe

Great update

:D

Ohhhh Amazing Chapter like all the chapters
The Syke parents are awesome to Holly that's good
I'm worried about with David and Luke did to her
Aww Poor Holly at least we know who got the afro *coughs* LUKE
Hehehhe Tom and Holly nearly caught by Oliver silly boy teasing his little brother and cute Holly
Can't wait for more
Clara