Just Can't Get Enough - Comments

i defy you stars. (250)

:: Member
Gender:: ♀
Age:: 31
Location:: United Kingdom

I loved the first line. And the whole thing to be honest, I didn't want it to end ;;P
the description was gorgeous and everything about it was perfect

I adore how you write.

July 28th, 2009 at 04:37pm

fun ghoul fez. (100)

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Gender:: ♀
Age:: 30
Location:: Canada

My comment probably won't be as long as the two above, but I really liked this. A lot of drabbles I read feel like they should have been expanded into something more but this was perfect. It kind of reminded me of the story you might get behind a photograph, brief and to the point.

The way you described just how Frank and Gerard felt as well was amazing. I personally have never done Ecstasy but I've read real life experiences of it and you captured that quite well.

This was a phenomenal drabble and I think we definitely need some more well-written Frerard's like this.

July 28th, 2009 at 06:41am

The Color Abi (300)

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Gender:: ♀
Age:: 30
Location:: United Kingdom

Hello there!

y so srs bandom? told me about this one shot last night on AIM so I’m pretty interested in reading and review this one shot.
She’s been singing your praises about your writing since we got onto talking about amazing Frerard’s with true sex scene’s last night.
I’m going to stop rambling on and review as I go now.
Sorry if I quote a lot it’s just how I get my view’s through. :cute:

-

They’re high on E and just can’t stop touching each other, the room humid and hot even though the air-conditioning is on.

This opening entrances me, it really does. It’s such a powerfully inviting opening line which has got me hooked, line and sinker already. It makes me want to continue straight away; my eyes burn in need to continue reading this.

Gerard leans down to lick against Frank’s neck, tracing his tongue against his collar bone and rocking his hips because he can’t get enough.

I could feel Gerard’s tongue on my neck whilst I read that; Goosebumps appeared on my arms from reading just this sentence. That’s how you know when you’re reading work by a great author; you acturly feel everything the main characters do to each other.

Because stuff like this doesn’t happen, not to Gerard at least, and he’s definitely not supposed to be fucking his little brother’s best friend.

I think this line makes the story all that more real; even though they’re high on E, Gerard realizes already that no matter how much pleasure he’ll get tonight, he’s going to regret this all in the morning because it’s his little brother’s best friend meaning as we don’t know Gerard’s age, Frank could be underage but I’m guessing he’s not as you’ve mentioned Frank has tattoo’s.

It feels like they’ve been fucking for hours, like this is round three. Gerard’s not sure that it’s true, but he knows that this feeling never wears off, that he just can’t get enough of Frank or Frank’s body.

That just makes this story all the more better. It’s so believable, really, this all is.

To sum up my feelings on this story I’d say in all honesty that I’m in love with this; I wish every story was as well written, as eye catching like this is. This story had me from the first line, it really did. I can’t pick out any faults with this which is rare to find; well done – an amazing drabble this is. I love it – anyone wants a Frerard and I know what to rec to them.

July 26th, 2009 at 11:17pm

opium december. (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♀
Age:: 84
Location:: Great Britain (UK)

claim.

Okay, first off, it never gets old for me to re read over this even though I have done so for probably the twentieth time. Really.

The way you've worded everything, so to the point, short, completely sexy and intimate, it's so wonderful. I love how the beginning makes it so beautiful, something raw and special, and then the ending shows us it was something spontaneous, dirty and gritty.

Their longing for each other is apparent by the way you repeat the title, relate it back to how much Gerard loves this new possibility that has opened up to him with Frank, him never thinking he'd see his kid brother's friend like that. Never mind in his bed. When Gerard says he's going to regret this later, I specifically think it's a contrast, he's not actually going to, I think it's going to be the start of something new, something regular.

Oh and yeah, I still think it's way hot how you've written their positions, the way Gerard is all over Frank, always wanting some contact, and the way Frank makes nghh sounds, rather than moans, because that's so much more realistic.

On to the more open comment, the general likes and dislikes; I admire how you put everything together, you have some knack with making everything fit, without the use of dramatic effect, it's not like ohmygawd, I'm sleeping with my brother's best friend, it's just so secretive, how Gerard treats this event as something between Frank and himself, a memory he can live over again and not dramatize to all his friends and lose the worth of it. Your vocab use is pretty great, you avoid cliche saying, but know just when to use them to give the piece a familiar effect, a smooth flow to it.

As I do with every author, I like to give some CC. I would love to see you add in some more subtle descriptions, little inklings as to what they are doing (just like you did with 'presses one of his palms against Frank’s thighs and squeezes gently, sometimes it's the little things that really are the last fitting pieces for the reader to get the picture accurate to what you want them to see. So definitely, adding in information where it fits would be perfect.

I think I'm going to re-read it now. :XD

July 26th, 2009 at 10:56pm