Silhouette. - Comments

Awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. XD

The fact that it's The Four Seasons alone is awesome, not to mention that it's wonderfully written. I feel a little guilty that I've never seen Jersey Boys though.... I think I had read this before, but I didn't know the band that well then, so I don't think I appreciated it well.

I like Holly. She's cute.

The style is choppy, but I think it works. To the point, retro, and casual.

“Hey!” Tommy barked as he drew closer to the figure in the red checked shirt that seemed to disappear into the darkness faster than Tommy could say ‘New Jersey’.
This is my favorite line. It's so visual, and really Rebel Without A Cause.

Love the Four Seasons, listen to the The Jersey Boys musical CD like it's a religion. :) Just sayin.'

They were not lovers. - I really like how you point that out in the first paragraph - but you don't tell the reader if they were friends or if there was something wrong with the situation. :) You kind of leave the reader wondering, and that's cool, because it gives you a little something for the readers to be curious about.

The three men sniggered ad the girl - and

One the other hand - On

Song would pierce the air as if someone had just started a fire, the sparks flitting through the atmosphere like a thousand flaming butterflies. - I really like the description you've used in this line, it's absolutely lovely and it just fits so well. And, if Frankie were in amongst them as well, the description would be even more so fitting. :)

Tommy rolled her eyes, - his?

almost with difficult - difficulty

What I really like about this is that I can really picture it. I haven't seen the musical, but I've listened to the soundtrack so many times that this follows the story-line and creates that familiarity with the reader - if that's the case. I also like the language and description you've used - it's not over the top, which kind of helps show that the narration is from a male perspective, and the dialogue is rough and very reminiscent of the period you're writing in. I think it's a lovely write, and how it's just based on that one scene from men standing under the spotlights, singing songs. :) I do hope you continue this, because I think it could be a lovely story to read. :)

:brightside: I really love it so far!

Luckily, I've heard of The Four Seasons (since my parents loved Jersey Boys) so I have a vague idea of the characters. It's really well-written, too.

Please update soon. :cute:

One Shot For One Shot (:

It was really good, the imagery and dialogue were great. It was altogether quite an enjoyable read, I look forward to checking out some of your other stuff of yours :cute:

"The first figure was unmistakably female. She was miniscule, her legs were merely twigs crammed into buckled hand-me-down shoes."

I think that was my favourite part. I just adore how you described her in this "scene" I really got a clear image :tehe:

Keep up the good work :arms:

One Shot For One Shot :]

Okay, so I'm not a huge fan of The Four Seasons but I love this.
The sound of their footsteps reverberated against the walls as their feet pounded relentlessly against the pavement. and She was miniscule, her legs were merely twigs crammed into buckled hand-me-down shoes. were just... amazing. And they were both in the very first paragraph. I probably don't say this enough, but I love the way you write :3

The puppeteer had grabbed the reigns on a brand new puppet – a shinier, prettier one that made all his other wooden figures dull in comparison because this new puppet had vocal cords strung from gold and a set of lungs made of steel. Honestly, how do you think of these sentences?

The dialogue in this piece flows so well and I'm utterly jealous. Nothing felt out of place and the fact that Holly was 'sweet on him' was just really realistic, seeing as it's set in the 60s. I adored it, and I'm subscribing :]

Oh, wow.
This is perfect.

It's so retro, and the descriptions and phrases you used gave it that back-then theme. Great job!

I confess, I've never heard of The Four Seasons.
But that didn't stop me from loving this. :tehe:
I'll try for a review, but I'm not too much in the mood so it may possibly be crap.

I like the way you set it up with an action, Two figures hurried through the back alleys of New Jersey, instead starting off talking about them and whatnot. And I love that you describe them by showing their differences, it puts a certain twist to it. And this: "shoulders broad and stiff like ice" - it gives such a good image about him, cold and calculating.

I really like the characters, and how you set it up. It almost seems like a secret meeting, instead of just band practice.

Like the moon and the stars and the Sun, Frankie would be there, standing, draped under the cloak of night, making that sound that Tommy so desperately craved as a permanent fixture in the band. But it would be like pinning down a cloud. wowz, I think that's my favorite line in the entire chapter. beautiful.

Hmm, I wanna know about Holly's private dreams... and I get the feeling her brother's kinda a douche to her, but that's just my first impression.

“Y-you need me?” he asked, almost with difficult, as if his tongue couldn’t fit around the letters; it almost sounds like he's never been wanted in his life. I love the way you've portrayed him as vulnerable when compared to Tommy.

I really like this so far. Subscribing right now. :cute:

One Shot For One Shot!

I actually really liked this. :cute:
It was well written, and your descriptions were amazing. I could picture everything that was happening.
This really was amazing. :]

:twitch:twitch:twitch:twitch:
Ahhh new storyyyyyy. :weird
And deds to me? Aw, Vickster, that means such alot. Thankyou, ily. :3 :arms:

I just... gah. You really fucking own stories set in the '60s, seriously. The tone and the characters and the dialogue are bang on, and just little things make this story, y'know? Like, it had been obvious that Holly DeVito was sweet on him. 'Sweet on him'. I'm not that familiar with the phrase but it all just fits and it's obvious you put loads of work into making this era-specific. It's incredible.

And I don't know who The Four Seasons are but I've seen you talk about them on the forums. And you paint this picture of them so vividly, I really want to find out more and I hope this is a chaptered story. You also make me want to listen to them really badly, cause I love '60s music. :tehe:

I'm sorry this comment wasnt up to scratch even though there are so many things I want to cram into a review, I just feel really sick and ill and headachey for reasons unrelated to your story, I know that's not an excuse but gahhhh. Annnnd I still owe you a review for the Lake House which I will do when I feel better, pwomise. :arms: But I am gonna do one for this too when I get chance.

But it's all gravy. (Y)

I hope you post the next part soon.
LUFF YEW :arms: xxxx