Stay Close - Comments

I kind of sorta absolutely adored this story. It was simple, and sweet... but very nice and had so much to just L O V E about it. It's great. :)

I sat down to leave this feedback at about seven, and just before I was about to start, I refreshed my twitter and saw that FFAF had uploaded their new video, so naturally I dropped everything (including my dinner :lmfao) and I had to watch it many times because I'm sad like that. But I've finally calmed down now, so here goes. :tehe:

I like that this was set afterwards, as a sort-of aftermath of what had happened. I like that it was all resolved and I like that they've both found happiness in one another because that's really what they both needed. They're both people whose relationships haven't exactly gone to plan in the past, so it was nice to see that it's all worked out for them now and I'm glad that they're both so happy with one another because they deserve to be.

I loved this description in particular. The pavement sparkled with frost. It was a good way to open the piece and also set the scene really well. The description is really pretty and it gives off a light mood for everything. And then it's instantly contrasted with this. The air was like ice, sharp daggers poking bare skin. This was a clever thing to do because it shows that whilst something looks safe, there could be something darker lurking underneath - I'm guessing that this may have been the case with Justin? I liked that there was a bit of uncertainty with this harsher bit of the opening, for a moment I wondered whether everything had worked out, or whether things hadn't gone as planned and they didn't end up being together. I like how you keep me guessing.

I really liked the fact that this was split up. It had been four months. Four months since Josh had met Alison Keats. It's like Josh wants to make a statement about the fact that the past four months had been the best he'd had in so long, and he feels like he doesn't need to elaborate because he knows the significance, as does Alison, and that's the main thing for the pair of them. I also get the impression that Josh has been counting the days since he's been with Alison, since he believes that what they share is really special and each day should be treasured.

It was good that you made it seem more real with this statement. he didn't know if they'd last a long time Often in stories, characters always get their happy endings and they remain in their relationship forever. I like the mystery surrounding Alison and Josh's relationship and it's good to see a bit of uncertainty in this because it makes it seem more believable. They're both only human and they still have doubts. I don't doubt that they both want this to work out but I get the impression that they're still both a little wary about this because of past relationships they've been in.

This moment here was really sweet. He buried his face in her soft scarf, inhaling the sweet scent of her new perfume. This shows how attentive that Josh is, for starters, what with the fact that he notices that she's wearing a different perfume to usual. And I love that it's a big reunion, even though they've only been apart for a few hours. It's like they're trying to make up for lost time which is why they feel they need to be so close to one another. They're still in the early stages of their relationship and are at the stage when they can't stand to be apart from one another for more than a few minutes. It's cute.

This really made me giggle. Dan's eyes widened. "But - but, all the good stuff will have gone by then!" He seems to be in touch with his womanly side :tehe: I love the moments like this that you put in your stories, it really shows your versatility because one sentence it can be all doom-and-gloom and then the next sentence is somebody cracking a joke. And not many writers can do it well, but you can - and you just do it with such ease.

The description of Justin was really good and I'm glad that I got a partial insight into him because up until now he was just a complete mystery to me. I half-wish that I'd known more about him apart from the fact that he was a manwhore, but at the same time I like that nothing much has really been said about him, because it makes it easier to hate him. And from Alison's reaction to seeing him again - what with it being a shock to the system - it makes me wonder how deeply he's really affected her because she's still not entirely okay. She's still hurting about what he's done, deep down inside of herself, even if she is completely happy with Josh. I like that things aren't quite perfect yet, and I have no doubt that the Alison/Josh relationship will develop further.

And Josh understands, just as simply as that. She looked up at him, their eyes meeting. He just needs to speak her name and she snaps out from under the Justin "spell" (she'd just been staring at him). It shows how much their relationship has evolved over the past few months and it shows that they really understand one another.

The ending was absolutely spot-on. I like how it resolves everything and it also gives the reader hope for the future of the relationship. I'm a sucker for a happy ending and this was just so...perfect. I also like how simply it was put, giving the impression that Josh and Alison don't need fancy metaphors or anything like that to describe their relationship, because they have each other and that's all they need to get by.

This was great, I loved how developed this was for a short story and you've really put a lot of effort into this.

So I hope this is more prompt than usual :cute:
First off I have to thank you for writing something so lovely and for including Brianna and me in this. I always brightened my day reading this.

So on to the con crit stuff :tehe:

I love it how you start off with the weather and how this time it seems to be exactly the opposite of how Josh feels. He's not resentful anymore of his situation and so for once the weather doesn't seem to bother him anymore. He seems to be above all the people busy with their shopping and is just happy in the present. I like how you're said that he was amongst the crowds. It makes me think that all the people in the crowd are buying things for their other half, and this time around Josh can be part of the 'crowd' and also have another half. Does that even make sense?

Now that he has Ali in his life he seems to be far more relaxed and at ease with himself. You can tell that by the fact he's not so much concerned about his outward appearance IE his hair. He's comfortable with Ali and because he has her the question of 'What's so wrong about me?' isn't appropriate anymore.

It's sweet that Josh immediately knew that Ali was it. It's especially sweet because he's a boy and Ali being the one he was going to be with is quite a romantic thought, so it's nice that the boy can be a bit lovingly soppy :tehe: She's given him a meaning to life and in a way she's the positive thing that's gotten him out of the slump that he was in at the start of the story. It's all so lovely and sweet, but then at the same time you're not beating a dead horse here. You've kept this fresh and exciting so thank you for that :cute:

It makes me laugh how Matt is teasing them, and pretending to be annoyed by it. It's very amusing because they were annoyed with his moping about being single and now they tease him when he's with Ali. Ah boys we'll never understand them will we? :tehe:

:lmfao at Dan and his fixation with TopShop. I agree whole heartedly and I am glad to see the influence I have on a boy's shopping habits :tehe: we're blatantly meant to be together.

Ah, it was interesting to have Justine back in the picture for a little bit. It's one of those moments that you see in films and really want to happen to you in real life: the perfect 'fuck you ex-boyfriend moment'. After seeing Justine it's almost a confirmation that she's so much better off with Josh and that dumping Justine was the best thing Ali did (as well as letting herself be dragged along to the date :tehe:)

I love the banter you've written in here. Why can I imagine Brianna acting exactly like that? :lmfao. You wrote us super duper amazingly thank you :arms:

Yep yep yep Dan is a man of my own heart. I hope he bought me a good Christmas present :tehe:

The ending was so sweet and lovely and cut and and and . It was such a positive note to end on, especially because Ali and Josh thought that it would never happen to them. When you're single and lonely and moping about, you get the feeling that you're never ever going to be in love or that you'll find someone. But it's obviously not true. So thank you for writing something that serves as a reminder that these things do happen.

This was so lovely Laura I can't thank you enough for writing it. I'm also super psyched for this new epic work of yours. :cute:

LOOOOVE!!
Hehehe you hit my character right on the head, I must say. It was absolutely fantastic, wonderful, and any other synonym for great I can't think of right now. :3
I am most certainly going to miss this story, even if it was very short.

I'm sooo sorry I suck so badly at leaving feedback despite the fact that this is really one of my favorite stories and it makes me smile so much. I actually have no excuse I need to better my lazy ways so I hope the potential length of this makes up for my slacking off so badly.

What I love so much is the right mix between seriousness and humor, for example the way you state that the restaurant isn't so full and how waiters aren't trying to give Corona to toddlers. That realy made me smile because it would be so funny if that did happen. The humor in this isn't the type of in your face laughs which is lovely because it's so light and sarcastic. Plus sarcasm is really hard to write and you do a really good job at that. :cute:

Ah Josh is such a cutie in the way that he's so desperate to get out of the situation he has been forced into that he's willing to eat something that is going to make him throw up. He's so uncomfortable and it really makes him endearing. He could have walked out a long time ago but he battles through which makes me smile. It suggests that he's willing to see through what he started and that's quite an admirable quality especially seeing as how everything seems to have gone wrong from the starter on wards.

I reckon Brianna might have had an inkling that the blind date wasn't going to be totally smooth sailing and so as compensation Max is paying for the whole meal. I would so do the same as Josh and order the most expensive thing on the menu :tehe: a boy of my own heart.

Bahaha :lmfao aah Jordan. What a shame. That little bit really made me laugh, I can just imagine something like that actually happening. It seems like something from a movie and in strange way Jordan seems if possible even more desperate than Josh because he's willing to have a sex change :tehe: giggle giggle giggle.

Bahahaha the whole date sequence of the two dates gone wrong are so funny especially Anita. I reckon that the guys are getting a kick out of seeing Josh be totally humiliated and being pushed to the end of his tether. Bless him reaching for the wine, totally lovable and very much realistic. I feel his pain. Josh is far to pretty to be anyone's toyboy, much less anyone called Anita.

I love the mirroring of situations here: how Alison is also placed into a situation that she really isn't too comfortable with, you can tell that by the way she nervously tugs at her dress when they're outside the restaurant. But at least Nina is sympathetic to her cause and admits that she's throwing her in the deep end straightaway but I guess that's a little shock tactic to help her get over her ex-boyfriend and sometimes once you've tackled a problem head on it gets easier from there.

Baha Dan is such a perv. I love it :tehe:

It's cute to see how nervous Ali is, it makes me realize how well she and Josh fit together seeing as he's pretty bashful at times too. They are obviously meant to be together. Josh's reaction to her is also pretty amusing and it acts as a sweet ice breaker between the two of them.

It's nice that Alison admits that letting Nina answer the Lonely Hearts ad was a good thing, and I reckon that at the end of it Josh is going to be thinking the same thing.

Only one more left? What a shame, but you've done a lovely fluffy job with this and it's always put a massive smile on my face.

Sorry about the wait! I hope this will make up for it. I'm actually in a bloody brilliant mood so I'm hoping that this will reflect in my feedback. :tehe:

Heavy heart
I love how it immediately starts with action, it throws the reader right into the story which was good to see. I like how it's straight to the point. It really gives an insight into the type of person that Dan is (what with the fact that this girl is a "fortnight fling" and the fact that he doesn't seem all too bothered about the fact that she's leaving him. I also like the harshness of the breakup - slapping him across the face, her sharp nails catching his skin, forming bloody scratches on the side of his face - I think this shows that Dan is a person who thinks he can have anybody, but he usually just ends up hurting them and it never ends well. I don't think he thinks things through before he does them.

And I get the impression that this is something that happens a lot. Josh isn't really reacting to what's going on, he's just being a bit nosey to find out what the reason for the breakup is this time. And I also like this insight into Josh. He was tired of being the only member of You Me At Six that was without love, alone, free to sleep with whatever girl he fancied, and drop her the next morning. But Josh didn't want that. That says a lot about him, it shows that he's different to the other guys in his band. The rest of them seem to be taking full advantage of groupies (:tehe:) and he's just sitting back and waiting to find his true love. But this is also depressing him because when you're in a band it must be hard to find love.

I was intrigued upon reading this. Josh Franceschi wanted love. Although he'd never admit that to his band mates, who already had that and so much more. I wondered why he doesn't tell his bandmates, I'm wondering whether he's scared of them mocking him for how he feels, or maybe he worries that they'll force him to go out and find some random girl just to take his mind off things.

This was interesting to see. Why don't you try being on your own for a bit? All these girls are getting confusing, I mean, I don't even know what her name was. I think that Josh wants Dan to see how it feels to be alone for a bit, so that he could maybe have somebody to confide in about the fact that he feels very lonely. This also emphasises the fact that Dan has a lot of girls, what with the fact that Josh can't even keep track of who Dan is seeing any more.

Sorry to quote a fair bit. More often than not, he brought his lonely status upon himself, refusing to go out with his band mates and their girlfriends, not wishing to be around happy couples, when he wasn't one of them. I thought it was good that the reader was instantly introduced into the main storyline with no faffing about. His bandmates have noticed that Josh is always alone and they want to do something about that because they know that an unhappy frontman probably isn't good for the band, as well as the fact they care about their friend and want him to be happy.

This emphasises my earlier point about Dan. Dan asked, guilt suddenly washing over him. He had taken his annoyance out on his friend, and he hadn't meant to. He doesn't entirely think things through before he does them - he was frustrated and needed to yell at the girl that had just left him, but she disappeared too quickly for him. So he's just venting his anger on Josh which is kind of saddening because this probably didn't help the way that Josh felt.

I loved this introduction to Brianna. a sheet of paper clasped in her hand and a determined look on her face This is a woman on a mission. :tehe: She comes across as a determined woman who always manages to get what she wants (I don't mean this in a bratty spoilt way, I just mean that she knows what to do to and how to approach things in order to make things go how she wants, if that makes sense). I like her character, she intrigues me somewhat.

The light-heartedness of the whole part is great. "God, Max, you've only run up the road, not a bloody marathon," Dan commented. I like the ease between all bandmates, they can get away with making fun of one another playfully and it's all just a bit of a joke. You've written their friendship really well and it's very natural and at-ease. It's really refreshing to read it.

Sorry for epic quotage here! What?! I'm nowhere near old enough to need one of those! I don't need to advertise how desperate I am, thank you very much! And you've made me sound like such a twat. You better not put that in the paper, seriously, I'll kill the lot of you. I absolutely love his reaction, it really made me giggle! It's such a realistic reaction, he doesn't want people to think that he's desperate to be in a relationship (although to some extent, he actually is) and he doesn't like the fact that people will be getting an impression of him from only a few short lines in a lonely hearts ad. He's worried about what people will think of him and the impression he'll leave.

I like the way it ended. If only he could break up from his friends, he'd have probably become an ex a long time ago. It's very open-ended and although I don't think he truly means it, it really brings across the frustration that Josh feels towards his friends because of the fact that they sent that ad into the paper. He's just angry at them and resents the fact that they think he can't find a woman on his own. He doesn't want them to see him as being some helpless guy who can't do things for himself.

Now onto part two!

Weight of the world
Okay, I ended up obsessing over the Skindred song for ages and then I was tired and went to bed. So I'm carrying on with this in the morning and mibba isn't loading so now is a perfect time. AND OMG MY LEEDS TICKET HAS ARRIVED. Ok I'll actually make a start now.

I love the way that you linked everything together in the opening. She watched as Jeremy Kyle tried to sort out a few hopeless cases, casting a glance at her own hopeless case. It shows that Nina's given up on Alison a little bit. It's like everything she does for Alison just doesn't work and she's beginning to lose hope about Alison ever feeling better about Justin. It shows that she really worries about her friend, she just wants things to be okay again.

I like the introduction to Alison. She was dressed in just her pyjamas, the same one's she had lived in for the past week and a half. It shows that she's been broken by Justin and she's still coming to terms with everything, even though she was the one to end it. It shows that she's a very committed person and has a hard time letting things go - even if they were things that were bad for her. This has been a pretty bad breakup for her and she doesn't know what to do with herself because she's still hurting, even though it's been a little while since they did break up.

This was really sad to read. She had said her own bedroom reminded her too much of Justin, and so the spare room at her nan's had now become her own haven of self pity. Immediately this intrigued me, I wanted to know what type of man Justin was in order to do this to a grown woman and reduce her to this. It really makes me feel for Alison, she feels like she can't let go and she's gone somewhere that makes her feel safe. It was an interesting choice that she decided to go to her nan's, rather than somewhere like Nina's or her parent's place - I'm intrigued as to why she chose to go to her nan's instead.

I think that this is precisely what Alison wants to do. Why do you watch this crap anyway? It numbs the mind. She just wants to forget about everything and feels that if she watches stuff like this it will also make her feel better about her life because she can see people who are worse off than her. But it just seems to be making her worse, due to the fact that she's not really budged from the sofa and just sits there in her pyjamas. It's making her think more about Justin and I think that some of the situations on the show remind her of traits that he has. And I think that some of the people on her show make her think that things are worse than they are.

This needed to be said, regardless of Alison's reaction. Why can't you get over it already and go out there and find yourself a guy that's the complete opposite? It needed to be said because she can't just stay sitting there forever. She needs to go out and live her life, and stop dwelling on a man that has seemingly broken her apart. I like the fact that it's not explicitly stated about what Justin had done, it brings a bit of mystery to him and makes me wonder what he did that could possibly be so bad - he was just described as a man whore and bad for her. He intrigues me. XD

I love Alison's nan! :tehe: The older woman was dressed in a long black dress, decorated with a gold trim, the colour set off her natural tan perfectly, and her hair was styled within an inch of it's life. She's obviously a woman who looks after herself and has a natural beauty. She tries very hard and at the same time although she does care a lot about her appearance, she's not all about that because she really cares about Alison and wants her to be okay again.

This also shows that she has a bit of adventure in her and she's not afraid of trying something new. She turned the page to the lonely hearts adverts. It was true that Eileen herself had used this particular page before. It was how she'd met her latest boyfriend, Al. It shows that these things do work. It intrigued me a little why she looked at the page (what with the fact that she was still with Al) but it was good that she did because she found Josh's advert. XD

This amused me because it puts Alison and Josh in similar situations. "Then we should do it in secret." They want to put an ad in the paper in the hope that she'll find a little bit of happiness because the pair of them just want her to feel better. They want her to relax about Justin and live her life again. They both know it's not healthy for her to stay in the house moping about.

I liked how Nina was able to draw all the conclusions that she did about Josh from the advert, in particular this one. maybe it was the fact that this boy was as lonely as Ali was. I think she's got a sixth sense when it comes to these things and thinks that she'll be doing a favour to him as well as Ali. She seems to be a person who wants to bring happiness to everybody, even people she doesn't know. She just called up the number without thinking twice - probably on impulse - and the way you ended the part was good because it's not shown exactly what was said over the phone because it leaves things to reader's imagination.

Great updates so far, now onto the last one!

A little piece of heaven
I thought the way that this part started was good. He squinted at the list of main courses, he was looking for something to make him sick, anything to churn his stomach and have him running for the toilets. It shows that things haven't quite gone as his friends wanted and Josh is just becoming increasingly agitated about the whole dating process. He just wants to escape from it all because it's not going in the way that he expected and he's not holding out for much better than what he's had so far.

I liked Brianna's methodical thinking. Three people replied to his advert. Brianna had divided them up, one person for each course of a meal. She's giving the three of them an equal chance and wants Josh to do the same, but Josh's patience is already wearing thin and he'd only met one of the three people so far. Because the first was bad, he's got a bad feeling about the other two which has put a downer on his mood and the rest of the night.

And this shows Josh's bitterness about the situation. "Lobster," he mumbled to himself, squinting at the menu. "How much will that set Max back?" He's frustrated over the dramatic gay actor (who was written brilliantly well, by the way, and really made me laugh!) and he wants to show Max that this has just been a waste of time - he expects the rest of people to turn up to be people like the gay actor so he wants to make Max suffer, just like he's been suffering.

I guess he was right to worry about the other people he would be meeting up with! He swallowed hard at the sight for sore eyes he'd have to look at for the duration of his lobster. First of all, I love how you described her - I know a woman just like this - and I like how she's completely different to the gay actor, but Josh finds her just as repulsive. I think that just her introduction was enough to put him off and it amused me that Josh ordered the lobster because I think the woman has a few similarities to the lobster, appearance-wise. Awesome.

I admire how open she was, too, what with saying that she was out looking for a toyboy. And Josh's reaction was just as good. Josh visibly shuddered, reaching for the bottle of wine and pouring himself a large glass, before swallowing as much as he could in one go. I think that this is his escape, he thinks that if he drinks enough wine then he can just forget about it all. He can forget that he's sat in a cafe on one of the most awkwardest dates he's ever been on and he just wants to drink everything away.

I like the hint in this message that things hadn't quite gone how Nina planned. She had managed to persuade her to come out. I get the impression that Alison wasn't too pleased that Nina had set her up on what was effectively a blind date, and she didn't come willingly - well, not at first. I think that from what Nina said to her previously, she'd decided that it wasn't good for her to be moping about the house all day and thought that there was nothing to lose by going out on this date.

I think that she doubts Nina, a little bit. "Are you sure I look okay?" She asked, hoping to god that this boy Nina had so kindly picked out for her wasn't another Justin. She couldn't take anymore heartbreak. She's scared that she can only attract men like Justin which I think is the main reason for her feeling so apprehensive about the whole situation. But she's thankful, what with the fact that she referred to Nina as being kind for choosing her this man to go on a date with. She understands that Nina wants her to be happy and she does trust her decisions, even if she (Alison) is a little wary.

I liked the first impression that the guy at the door had of Alison. He whistled slightly, before smiling and nodding towards a table in the corner, where a boy sat on his own, watching as a waitress cleared the plates from the table. It's nice to see that he approves. :tehe: For some reason that little description of Josh made him seem so vulnerable. He's a boy sat on his own and he's a little unsure (especially because of the people he's been confronted with!) and he's just watching the waitress because he doesn't know what to do with himself. He also seems worried about what the last person will be like, I guess he has good reason for that. But as the saying (or whatever the hell it is) says, save the best until last! XD

Loved how you ended this. Letting Nina loose to answer that lonely hearts ad may be the best thing Alison Keats ever did. It gives me hope for the rest of the story about the pair of them and makes me hope that they've both found what they're looking for in one another. I love the optimism in this line and I'm now really interested to see where you'll be taking the storyline now.

Great so far. Sorry about the wait.

Oh my Lord, that gay overdramatic actor bit had me dying. :lmfao

I can just imagine Josh sitting through the first two people, and it brings a smile to my face, though it probably shouldn't. :XD

Absolutely fantastic update, not sure why more people aren't commenting! I'll go hunt them down...

I hadn't realized you'd updated this so sorry that this is potentially very late. :cute:

I love how you start of by describing the setting and how clean it is, it's probably because the irony comes in later then when you see the messy break up that Ali has behind her and Jeremy Kyle sorting out people's lives. That was a really clever contrasting. It also made me chuckle because coincidentally I am a bit of a clean freak :tehe:

Ah I love love love the description of the after math of the break up. The whole unkemptness and dark circles is a classic description but you make it fresh and new by saying that she actually did the breaking up. It made me laugh because somehow it's a natural girl reaction: to cry about it regardless of how broke it off. I love that very real and human touch to the characters you create and it's why I just love everything you write. You can see this in the way that you made Ali hide out somewhere where nothing reminds her of Justin, many girls would feel exactly the same way. haven of self pity Ooof loved that, it makes me think of someone just locking themselves away and drowning in their emo emotions :tehe:

It's funny how Ali decides that Jeremy Kyle is the best way to throw some positive light on her life. In some way I understand that. You watch it and think 'thank god I'm not a pregnant lady in an addidas tracksuit with a mullet' but at the same time it's quite depressing to know that those kind of people exist in the world. The fact that Ali is hiding out in the world of TV really shows her desire for escape and how she just needs to leave her life for a moment.

I love the voice of reason in the form of the best friend and how the whole situation is a total mirror view of what the boys were going through in the first part. I mean Dan and his girlfriend didn't work out because he had no idea what he was doing wrong. But Ali on the other hand knew that Justine was no good for her and so she took the initiative and acted in her own best interest. Yet she still needs her friend to push her and move her along. That was really cleverly done my dear. You've also mirrored the emotions from the first part which I really liked. Here it's . She knew deep down that it had been tactless to spill her true feelings about the break up to Alison and in the first part it's Dan feeling guilty for having shared his opinion. Blatantly Dan and I are destined to be married :tehe: jokes.

Mwuhaha the scheming Granny. Why can't my grandma be this cool? It makes me smile how Eileen knows exactly what's going on with her granddaughter and how she is exasperated too. This is quite a novelty because my grandma would be totally clueless as to what to do or say. So it's really good to see the grandma take the initiative and come up with the idea of the lonely hearts section. The little back story was incredibly sweet and it's nice to add that in because it shows as you said the success and that should be nothing but encouraging for Ali. I like how both are going behind Ali's back to do it. It adds to the whole comedy of the situation, even more so because both Josh and Ali feel exactly the same way about the Lonely Hearts add. So blatantly soul mates :lmfao

It's funny how Eileen sees Josh's add first. Aaaah it's destiny for sure! I have to laugh again at Eileen because she assumes that he'll have lots of replies already. He probably will have actually but from all the wrong people, I doubt many 19 year old girls looking at the Lonely Hearts section in the paper. Having said that it shows how desperate Eileen and Nina (so weird writing my own name out in third person :tehe:) for Ali to have a steady and good boy in her life.

This story is such a novelty, I love the idea and how you're working it so far. I raelly hope there's more than just one more :cute:
Wonderful job so far :arms:

Ooh, Yoshy boy may have someone now! :tehe:

I really like this Ali character, I must say. Great update! :D

So I don't think I've been more excited about a story in a long time! I've missed the YMAS boys soo much after your amazing Josh trilogy so this is pretty much amazing already

Also lovely colors on the layout and yay for The Summer Set.

I love how you jump into the situation straight away. Opening it with the boy girl conflict was clever because that's pretty much what this is all about I'm guessing. The male inability to deal with females :tehe: I love how love literally is a battlefield and that Dan is being left with bloody scratches. The fact that the girl is being described as his latest fortnight fling really highlights the desperate situation the boys find themselves in, and for Josh this must be pretty bad seeing as he doesn't even have a fortnight fling to fall back on. He literally is alone.

It's cute that Josh is watching Dan and Emma interact, he's probably very glad that he's not getting slapped and abused by a girl. But somehow I think that maybe he's jealous of that fact that Dan had a girlfriend regardless of how hysterical she was. He obviously felt very left out and tried to hide from this truth, you can see that the way he chooses to bury his nose in kerrang and then also admits Deep down, he had hoped for this outcome. I feel sorry for him because it's a feeling that I can really sympathize with and being the third wheel the whole time really isn't that nice.

Josh Franceschi wanted love. I think it's quite brave that he decides to admit that, most boys don't want that kind of commitment at that age. It's lovely that you've not mad Josh into the sterotypical band boy who is obnoxious and can get every girl he wants. Adding to that it's interesting that he hasn't found someone up unitl this point, I mean it's not like there's a lack of girls on tour and stuff. It shows that he has standards and is still searching.

I don't know, she just expected me to know everything. I'm a guy, I don't know how she thinks. That really made me laugh. It's this kind of dialogue and interaction that I love in your stories. It's endearing how Josh and Dan are honest with themselves but neither of them are willing to work at it. I.e Josh won't put himself out there (it takes Brianna to do that :tehe:) and Dan won't learn. SHould be interesting to see how that all ends up.

Why don't you try being on your own for a bit? It's interesting to see Josh give out advice when it's clearly not doing him any good. He tries to be on his own, he refuses to go out with his friends and the like and as you said he brought his lonely status upon himself,. Being on his own doesn't do Josh any good but Dan goes to the other extreme and isn't happy either. The middle way seems to be something that boys just can't get their heads around :lmfao

Aaaah hello Brianna! I have to take this point and thank you for writing us in. It makes me smile and in all honesty I can imagine Brianna doing exactly what she is doing in the story :tehe: She's that bit of levity that the boys need and in a way she's like the bossy older sister who pushes them into situations they would avoid at all costs. She's got everything under control and it's sweet how she and Max are plotting against Josh. She and Max obviously work very well together, you can see that from the way that the ad is described as a masterpiece

I'm not sure of I've said this before but the idea of putting out a lonely heart's ad out for Josh is such an original idea. I was laughing through the whole of the last part. The ad was perfect and I would have called in for sure :tehe: I had a major chuckle at this bit: his occupation is resident singer and complainer in upcoming, British, pop punk band. He's friends know him so well and it's cute how they are pushing him along and encouraging him, even if it's with the pretense that he's just annoying them through his whining.

If only he could break up from his friends another major chuckle moment. I don't really think he means that because sooner or later his friends are going to be right and then he is going to realize how important they really are. But to be fair I would probably be thinking the same things as Josh :tehe:

Oooh I can't wait for the next update now, it'll be interesting to see what kinds of replies he gets. Knowing the whole lot of them they'll set him up on a date with a 40 year old sledge hammer thrower from Belarus called Olga :tehe: well maybe not that extreme but I wouldn't put it past Max.

Keep at it, I'm loving the funness and giggles so far.

This is fantastic! I love it! :DAnd Max. :tehe: