August 30th, 2009 at 06:34pm
i found only like, one mistake but it doesn't matter, because this story was absolutely amazing to me.
I loved the sex scene, and how immediately it happened right whenener they came into the door. i like how she almost forgot about her plan of killing her master and how right after she had her orgasm she killed him, while still having it x)
this is one of my favorites so far, and lemme tell you, it's going to be hard to judge x]
Good luck! And just to warn that there will be concrit in my comment. :cute:
Wow, really passionate plot - immediately dark, completely takes the reader in.
...he would never get Darcy off her mind... I think you meant 'his mind'.
The blade gleamed in the light of the lonesome bulb that hung above. Love that sentence. I don't know if you meant it, but it feels like the lightbulb is Darcy, and the blade is her only hope.
He his touched seemed gentle - not sure what that's meant to say, but it doesn't make much sense to me.
This should probably be Restricted, not NC-17.
there, not their towards end.
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