I love this story, it's simply grand.
September 15th, 2009 at 08:54pm
I know I sound repetitive
I loved the way this chapter started. You have to applaud Isabella's optimism and for even hoping that she'd be able to get through the whole day wearing jeans, whilst rushing around in the kitchen. The heat from the sun and the heat from cooking must all mix together and make the kitchen staff a whole lot sweatier than the bands who jump around on stage.
The first day appears to be the hardest, not only for Isabella, but for John, as we find out later on. So there's already that link between the pair of them in that they both haven't had easy first days of Warped. I love the way you've described the day and pretty much hit the nail on the head for everything, in that gradually, Isabella will get used to the heat and her legs won't ache as she gets used to running around, chopping up various bits of food.
I love Travis! He's so bright and chipper, and he adds a touch of light relief to what's going to be nice and angsty. I liked that Isabella didn't instantly remember him and be all 'ZOMGZZZZ YOUR TRAVIS CLARK, MARRY ME NOW', because that would be a lot more like her little sister to go off like that. Not only does she not know who he is and what he does, she doesn't remember his face from earlier anyway, which I like to think deflates his ego a little, and makes him realise that it'll take a lot more to win Isabella round, than just simply saying that he's in a band and that's that.
How Isabella see's herself is very refreshing. I like that she doesn't wake up and *bam* there's instant perfection, she has to work to keep her desired appearance up, and I find that a hell of a lot more realistic than her saying she wakes up and does nothing to her face or hair and she's one of those characters that can eat an elephants body weight in McDonalds and still be as thin as a pin. She's someone that more of us will be able to relate to, rather than an unrealistically perfect beauty queen. So, if I was wearing a hat, I'd take it off to you for that.
At the thought of Mark she had to suppress a shudder. That made me wonder a lot. Who's Mark? It's not Mark as in Mark of One Night Only, is it? (: Whoever he is, he's obviously deeply affected her, because it disturbs her to merely think of him, or something that relates to him. So, yeah, I'm guessing this is where the angst is going to be injected into the story, yes?
I find it really sweet that David's so in sync with Isabella that she doesn't even have to say a word for him to know that something is wrong. He just has that instant knowledge. His reassurance was sweet as well, and it shows how deep their friendship runs. I think he's going to play a huge part in her and John's relationship.
The canteen appears to be the heart of Warped. It's the place where everyone goes for their food, and it seems like a meeting place if that makes sense. It's like the meeting point at the end of the day, so all the band people that are friends can all catch up, as it must be pretty difficult to do that during the day, as everything's so rushed and hectic.
I love Travis' persistance. He really likes Isabella, and that's before they've even had a proper conversation. He's only seen her in passing and random moments like that, so he must think that she's really special to bother so much to go out of his way to invite her to the party and things like that. I think he's really sweet, but ever so slightly irritating to Isabella. I don't think she's used to someone as forward as he is, so it scares her a little. But I do like that Travis doesn't back off, even with David glaring at him.
The ending was perfect, it left a lot open for us to decide. Will she survive or will she cave in and drop off Warped altogether? But I like that she didn't go to the party. You've not written her as a modern music loving party animal, so I'm glad that she didn't give in at Travis' first invite attempt, and go to the party, get drunk and have sex with some random band boy, because that's not realistic and it happens in a lot of tour stories. So yeah, I really liked this chapter, because of the mystery element and because of my second favourite ginger.
Lets make it look right
The beginning made me laugh. It was like the morning after the night that didn't happen. Travis is still his bright self, despite the fact that he must've been disappointed that Isabella was a no-show. I think it really does hit him at this point that he's going to have to try much harder than he originally thought to impress her. I think that by asking her to go and watch We The Kings' set, he's going to impress her with his musical skills, only, he doesn't know Isabella like us readers do, and we know that she isn't overly impressed by modern poppy rocky bands.
I'll admit, I was surprised to read that she did go and watch the set. Of course, that was all it was, she was going to go and watch them play and that would be it. There wasn't going to be anymore to it, but she had told herself that she didn't want to get caught up in anything, so I think that she had a sort of wall up, and was blocking Travis out, but now, she's only half let him in by going against what she had originally set out to do.
Garrett's entrance was very understated. It seems like he just appeared out of nowhere, and although he didn't play a big part in this chapter, he's the link to finding out who John is, and even though Isabella doesn't quite know yet, she does have a meeting with him at the end.
Travis giving Isabella a hug was cute, if not very forward. Neither of them really know each other, and it's very apparent that she has no plans to get with anyone, as this Mark guy is still in the air, he's still having an affect on her, no matter how much she tries to ignore it, it's still there. I think Travis has a very different idea to her and I'm reaaally looking forward to seeing how that works out and what happens, whether he'll accept it, or whether they'll be loads of drama.
I do love his persistance. I'm thinking that he thought that because she didn't party the night before, she'd be up for it tonight, what with the first day being over and done with and everything getting easier from this point onwards. I also thinks that he feels that with alcohol in her, and the party atmosphere around her, she might loosen up a little and let some of her guard down. I think her excuse of having work at six the next morning is the truth, yet I think it also masks the fact that she doesn't always agree with consuming too much alcohol, because of what it does to people. I have a feeling this links back to this Mark character, but I could be totally wrong there.
Travis leaving Isabella on her own was the perfect opportunity for her to make an escape, rather than go and mingle and find some other band boy to linger around. The fact that he left her shows that maybe his attention span isn't that long, or he just forgot to go and get her back. He seems a tad careless with what he does and how he acts. I do love how you've written him, and I like that he's not an arsehole, but I think he has a careless and tactless side to him that could get him into much trouble.
I think that there's been a slight shift in Isabella's character when she meets John. She can see that he's intoxicated, and he's still drinking, although he can still speak coherently, that obviously doesn't give away how drunk he is, but his eyes do. I like that he isn't stumbling all over and making a fool of himself, because that'd be an awkward and embarassing meeting. I think it's different that she accepts he's a little drunk, and she tries to change his state, by giving him the water that will hopefully sober him up a little or a lot. She isn't afraid of him, or wanting to give him a lecture on alcohol. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like her right now. But I guess we'll see with time.
Fantastic updates, as always. I'm really intrigued with the Mark and alcohol situation and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take that and what it all means. And apologies that this is a little bit late, especially for the second chapter.
