This New Dimension - Comments

this is so beautiful, like all your stories. i feel so sorry for Gerard, never getting his wings, and having to leave frank and london. so sad.

You weren't kidding when you said this was really long. However, it definitely sounds like it was worth it.

The way Gerard talks actually creeped me out. In a way, it kind of reminded me of Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs. It definitely suited him, since I'm assuming this early on that he's dead. I also love how Ray doesn't really know what's going on, because it seems like that's what you would feel if you woke up dead. I also love how the layout of the story itself was kind of strange; I'm not sure why but it just really suited the story.

This oneshot is just creepy in general, even the moment with Ray's watch going insane. I'm not even a quarter of the way through but you've sufficiently got me creeped out.

“It’s not an accent,”
he simply says, leaving Ray even more confused, and wiggling his eyebrows in very impossible angles.
“It’s purrrring.”

That just plain made me crack up. I don't know why; it might have been the wiggling eyebrows. But it was still hilarious.

I like how you've added new twists to the concept of death, like explaining why Gerard purrs. It's still kind of creepy to imagine it but I can't help but wonder what animal is going to pick Ray. I just got an image of a duck for no apparent reason. I just read that it's an eagle, which is close enough to a duck, I suppose.

All I can really say is poor Gerard. I feel so bad for him that he's so lonely, wandering around purgatory because they can't find his body. It's so sweet that he died for Frank but it's so awful that he has to be all alone.

I loved that ending, especially since it was a cliffhanger of sorts. I really do hope Gerard gets his wings sometime. I also love how you connected Ray being itchy at the beginning of the story with him gaining his wings at the end. This was a very good oneshot and you definitely deserved to win that contest.

It's taken me a while, but I finally got a chance to give this a read! I'm so glad I did, because it was beautiful.

Wow. Everyone has pretty much said everything I wanted to say. I adored the plot, and the idea was so different and special. I loved the idea of animals 'choosing' people when they die and then the person gaining animal qualities. I don't exactly know the reason why I loved that detail so much, but it really grabbed me.

I like how the events unfolded, but not too quickly. For example, when we met Gerard and found out that he was soaking wet. I had my suspicions that he had jumped off of a bridge or something, but upon finding out the true reason why he died, I actually felt tears well up in my eyes.

“I would die forrr him again, but not to come herrre.
It’s scarrry and lonely.”
That made me cry. Just the fact that he had done something totally selfless, saving another human being from the fate that he ended up with, and yet he ended up suffering. And the fact that he loved Frank so much that he would do it all over again. It was just beautiful.

The ending was magnificent. I sympathised with Gerard for having to stay in that dimension while watching Ray ascend into Heaven, but in a way I'm glad that you left it as a cliffhanger. I don't really know why but I loved having the story end in that way.

This was such a beautiful story. Thank you so much for linking me to it. It was a pleasure to read.

First of all, I have to say you completely deserved to win! That was one of the best one shots I've read ever.

The idea you came up with is so original. I mean, the idea of life after death is a thing that is written about frequently, but you've used your own ideas and made it your own. I really love the idea of the animals too. It was especially clever to use the 'rrr's and the purring to intrigue us, because right from the beginning we know there is something strange going on, and you make us wait to find out.

I also love the way you've portrayed your character's personality and made us empathise with them. Like, at first we don't quite understand Gerard, but we get the feeling he is broken which of course, as we learn later he really is. I really sympathised with him, especially because he had to remain in that horrible place and watch his family get on with their life without him. And then, the way you describe Ray's emotions makes you feel like you're living them and gives a great sense of empathy so well done on that!

I just adore the plot of this story. It's so clever, intricate and well thought out. The detail in it really made this a good read. I really really loved the ending too, it really did bring a tear to my eye. Ray's selflessness and sympathy towards Gerard was so heartwarming. It was a perfect ending :]

This truly was a very thought-provoking story; you know one of those ones that makes you think long and hard about your outlook on life? Thank you for writing it. You're a very talented person :arms:

Oh, Ryland, I could not have written that half as well as you did. I completely agree with everything you pointed out, the story was great.

It made me think a lot, and there were a lot of mixed emotions. I'm glad you thought everything through, it's the little details that excite your readers, y'know?

"This New Dimension" was a very good read. You deserve to win first place in the competition.

Finally, I'm commenting! Sorry it took me so long.

Well, first of all I just want to say that I love your layout. Some people on this site have really terrible layouts, and a lot of the time that puts me off reading the story, but I loved the background picture you used and the way your text is justified. It's lovely.

Second, wow your story is long. That's not a bad thing, and you warned me beforehand anyway, but I clicked on your story and saw the word count and thought "Oh my..."
I feel quite proud that you wrote 9,163 words for my contest :cute: I think that having it all in one chapter as opposed to two was a good thing to do, and you made the right decision about that.

Anyway, the story. It was incredible. Just the whole idea of death and the thought that when you die, it's not the end. Gerard's purring voice was so cool, and how Ray found himself seeing the eagle in his head, and how he began to change like Gerard had told him he would. I love how much thought you put into the whole thing, and the fact that you didn't just write a story about breaking up or something like that; the kind of thing that most people do. It gets boring after a while, and reading stories like this one gives me hope, and makes me glad that not all writers on here are like that.

I loved how as I was reading the story, the way the events were unfolding made me wonder to myself what was going to happen. I was actually glued to the screen. When I read about Gerard being soaking wet and how he had been dead for three years, I started to wonder if he had maybe drowned, and I thought that he had killed himself and that was why he hadn't gone to heaven, but I really liked how you made it because they had never found his body.

Damn, I love angel stories. I saw the picture in the layout and hoped that there would be some reference to angels in your story, and the fact that there was made me very happy. I think that every detail you wrote, like the man who was at peace with his death and the crazy man who never got his wings, all added to how great this story was.

When I read about the feeling in Ray's back getting stronger, I knew what was coming, and I wasn't sure whether to be excited that Ray was going to heaven or sad that Gerard was being left behind. Your last two paragraphs brought tears to my eyes, and when I finished reading I just sat for a few moments, thinking about what I had just read.

Basically, it was so unique and amazing, and you should be very, very proud of yourself.
Thank you so much for this entry.
:arms:

I. am. speechless.
I am in love with the way you told the story, and the story itself.
I nearly cried when I read how Gerard died, and when Ray ascended.
This is pure genius. Amazing. Just Amazing

This was thought provoking and beautiful.
You should be proud.

:cute: