And She's Wrong. - Comments

Zerrrrrrrrrrrrro! That was an amazing one shot. I got confused though in the first few paragraphs when Demi and Nick were talking and all - but I got it after going back and re-reading it. (I iz slow) You cannot blame me D: Anyway, I like the 'he's right-she's doesn't' or vice versa phrases you added in the few paragraphs.

It's not quite detailed, but it's still a great write-up. I really did like the atmosphere of the two hopeless, wandering lovers- they're a pair. And the picture you put of both seems very appropriate to this kind of one-shot you wrote ^^ Plus! Plus! It seems realistic towards the end that Demi doesn't get who Nick loves. Hahaha! "Like I said, she's slow." I was grinning and being all like, 'Demi, you fool!' Then again, it's just s story o_o

I agree with writers above me - you haz talent :file:

MY COMMENT
IT COMES
AND NOT IN THE DIRTY WAY, ZERO, YOU PERVERT

JUST WAIT... CHECK BACK HERE... IT'LL BE HERE. IT'S COOOMING.

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They're heeere! (like Poltergiest, yknow? :tehe:) Except it would make more sense to say, It's heeere! So yeah. Hey.

Nick thinks he’ll never fall in love. He thinks he just moves around too much, he’s always too busy going from one place to another, whether if it was playing shows or doing speeches about fighting diabetes.
Perfect opening. I absolutely love how you summarized up Nick's life in just two sentences, his stance on love... all things that add meat to the story. All things important to the story. Taalented. ;)

And srs, Zero, my love belongs to Jemi as you well know, but I couldn't resist this story. I can't really resist anything that has to do with Demi. :shifty And I admit, Nemi has some good qualities... but in any case, you're a good writer so I'll put up with this mismatched pairing. :tehe:

It’s a smile and as far as Nick is concerned, a smile is a smile, and in the back of his mind, Demi’s smile is a smile and it’s beautiful.
:cheese: Beautiful line. And I love the focus on Demi's smile. My god, Demi's smile is just beautiful, and even if I didn't know that, after reading this story, I would have. And I would have known it well, because of your description.

She wants to fall in love – or she’s already fallen love.
The world's oldest story. I-love-you-and-you-could-love-me-but-you're-oblivious-to-my-love. And it works very well in this situation. Something I really loved about this story was that it was so realistic.

“Yeah,” Nick says, hand going up to tug on the curls that started just at his neck.
Ooooooooh. That bit about the curls just seemed really hot to me, for no particular reason. ~~

She doesn’t think he’ll notice – and she’s right.
That makes me want to slap Nick a little, but it's okay, he'll come around. Eventually. (y)

And now that Nick can’t seem to find some peace and sleep, he thinks about going over there with a sheepish smile on his face to say, “Hey, I couldn’t sleep.”
I love how you used this to explain why they're so comfortable with these late night talks. You pretty much explained their relationship without actually going through the motion of explaining it. Amazing.

forcing herself not to fall asleep again
That tells me a lot. About Demi, about how much she loves Nick and what she's willing to do for him... it's really quite beautiful.

When you started using 'and she's wrong', I knew there was gonna be some shit going down. And I got excited. And the Diet Coke thing... oh my god, I d'awwed sooo hard. That's so fucking cute akdjfa;lskj

And he says, “Oh you know – just this girl.”
Oh he's so adorably painfully obvious but at the same time if I was her I'd be just as unwilling to accept it.

“No, no – I know she wants to love.”


Oh Zero. That ending was just beauty. So sappy and cute and just amazing, the perfect you know, love. Ugh. Zero. You. Ugh. I love you. And this story. You have amazing talent. Ugh.

Wow.. I, personally (like the two first posts), don't listen, nor like Demi or the Jonas Brothers. I saw this on the Pimping and Reccing thread though, and I decided I would read it, just because the exerpt caught my attention. This, this right here is talent. When you can write a story, one-shot, book, whatever, about two people who not many people like, and still have them like the story itself. I think that makes it seem realistic, and that the people were people, not just famous faces. You could have done it perfectly if they weren't famous (though Nick moving around would have had a different reason), and it still would have been great. I think that's one of the reasons I like this so much.

It's real. :] Great job.

Soo seems no one else that has read this is actually and Nick or Demi fan, but considering I am one, I'd like to tell you that this was a really great one shot. I'm not normally a huge fan of Nick himself but I love the way he was portrayed here. He and Demi were portayed very realistically and true to the way that they seem to us fans. And I really liked the ending.

Great job!

Before I start to write the review for this, I just thought I’d let you know that I’m not at all a fan of any of the Jonas Brothers nor am I a fan of Demi’s music (only Sonny With A Chance). I’m sorry this won’t be the best review ever but honestly, I’m not really that into Nick and Demi it’s just that this story stood out to me and I thought you might like a review for it :cute:.

The layout makes me smile; it shows that you’re reading between the lines and seeing that maybe the two have a deeper bond then they really do show the their fans; I like the thought behind it that and it’s easy to read your story – I don’t have to change to the default layout.

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Nick thinks he’ll never fall in love. He thinks he just moves around too much, he’s always too busy going from one place to another, whether if it was playing shows or doing speeches about fighting diabetes.

The starting actually makes me feel sorry for nick; he doesn’t think love is important enough as he’s so busy with the life he’s leading right now – he doesn’t believe he’ll ever have the time to settle down. It actually makes me want to hug him and yeah, I don’t hug Jonas boys.

It’s a smile and as far as Nick is concerned, a smile is a smile, and in the back of his mind, Demi’s smile is a smile and it’s beautiful.

It kinda breaks my heart this does; he’s blind to the fact that she’s in love with him... it’s depressing :cry: I hope he does see that she’s in love with him.

He tells her all the time that he’ll tear down all the jerks she dates and that one day, a nice guy that respects and understands her will come along; he tells her that all the time with that tiny smile on his face that he doesn’t really realize comes along whenever he hugs her.

Brotherly love isn’t what she wants from him at all – I really, really, really wish he could see this now; it must be killing her on the inside... I love the way you’ve written this, I can see this all happening in front of me; it’s as if I’m sat on the bed also, watching them – this is a gift you have :cute:

And when their hands touch, they both grip each other tightly before letting go.

That’s just so cute! I’m sorry that most of my review isn’t very detailed but your story seems to speak for itself :cute:

Demi’s drinking Diet Coke, too, just because she misses Nick. She doesn’t think he’ll notice – and she’s wrong. The thought’s running through his head and he can’t stop smiling again.

What people do when in love, aye? They drink Diet Coke just because the other drinks it... I’m glad he’s finally noticing these little things that she does now – it’s making me happy :cute:

And Demi smiles, “What about that one girl?” she asks.

But Nick rolls his eyes, tells her she’s silly. “I told you – she’s a bit slow.”

I know I skipped out quoting a lot there but that’s just because I think these two lines sum up the whole atmosphere of the story really well. I love it that in the end, she still isn’t believing that he’s in love with her, that he’s realized they share feelings for each other, that she’s the one he wants. It’s really, really :cute:

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I really enjoyed this story. It was beautifully written and well described. The mood of the story is held throughout and it’s a really interesting plot line. My only little piece of criticism is that I would have loved this to be a lot longer then it was.

Other then that, it was brilliant, well done :cute:.

First of all, I loved the layout. It was very suitable to the story, and the picture is great.

This was written in a very dreamy way, but I still saw it playing clearly in my mind. There wasn't too much description at all, but I felt that that was a good thing because of its content. The repetition of '-and she's right, he doesn't' was subtle but noticeable, as was the reverse phrase used near the end.

There really was only one grammatical/spelling error that I noticed: Nick tells Demi all the time and he’ll be there for her, always, night after night if she ever had something to talk about. I think it should be Nick tells Demi all the time that he'll be there for her, always, night after night if she ever had something to talk about.

The fact that the pairing were Disney didn't phase me at all - their personalities were very distinct and believable, and the dialogue suited them. They said exactly what I thought that they should say. Also, they were introduced quickly and their character defined right from the very start, which was good as this is a one-shot; and a very good one at that.

P.S. I loved the ending. I think that people will enjoy reading this, JoBro/Demi fans or not.

Nick Jonas/Demi Lovato.
One out of one.

1370 words.
... I think. :shifty
Oh well.

Thank you for reading.
All comments are appreciated. :cute: