First off, let me say, I AM SO SORRY! I feel so bad that it’s taken me this long to write this comment, despite the fact that you really, really, REALLY deserve it!
Now sit back, and enjoy as I ramble on for the next five or so minutes of your life... ^_^ HEY SHUT UP. IT’S GOOD RAMBLES THOUGH, OKAY? OKAY. AHEM.
Okay, let me start by say, OH MY GOSH THE LAYOUT IS B-E-A-UTIFUL! The banner deserves credit, it is so gorgeous, and so... I don’t know the words to say, but the floral-ness is just so welcoming and comforting for some reason. And the layout colours are also extremely appropriate because they are warm, yet mellow colours, and from what you have told me already and from the looks of the girl in the banner and the introduction to Aurora in the first chapter, it just seems to define her personality. So well done on that!
Life is great until you lose yourself. This, this right here. Oh lordy, it is amazing. I love how this pretty much foreshadows the how story, which is its intention, yet it just draws you in. You have to know what comes next, you can’t just read that and walk away. It’s so captivating, I’m not kidding, and also, extremely true.
"Dude, you are going into this bar and if you don't get laid tonight I am actually going to shoot myself. You are impossible to live with you know that right?" xDD Not only is this hilariously funny, it also gives us our first insight on what Cal is like, and let me tell you, I like it! He seems so funny and carefree, which is great, because it gives me a huge contrast to how Brendon is. I also love love love their relationship, it’s cool how they can just joke around with each other, and even though Brendon is so uptight, Cal still accepts him and Brendon sort of loosens up around him.
It was a curse really. Being a familiar face stripped away every ounce of dignity from the person you used to be until when you looked in the mirror you no longer recognized the face you made for yourself. –dies- Beautiful. Absolutely stunningly beautiful. I believe this is exactly what goes through the heads of every celebrity stuck in the glare of paparazzi. And this is also amazing, because it shows just how well you can get into the heads of your character, so again, well done on that! (:
Although I really want to, I’m not going to quote Brendon and Aurora’s first meeting, because you don’t need to be retold your whole story, but I have to say, I absolutely adore Aurora! She’s just so care-free, happy, and warm. And when I say warm, it’s like she would take anyone under her wing because she just seems so caring and loving. And I just love how they talk to each other, almost with a flirty undertone but with good intentions. I think it’s just adorable, and I cannot wait to see them interact further in!
"What's your name Tall Dark and Lonely?"
"Brendon. What's yours Small Blonde and Lively?"
"Aurora."
"That's nice."
"Thanks, you are too." ASHFAFDASLVNFJGHADIJALDAJBGMADNGA. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH CUTENESS? BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING THE RIGHT WAY ABOUT IT!
I loved how you wrote the introduction scene for the second chapter, just the way all the words fit together, and it’s just perfect. I start to feel sorry for Brendon and his sleepless nights, because he just sounds so sorry for himself, and so hopeless.
OMG CAL. He is the man, I kid you not. I was pissing myself when he started talking about the noises he made, and they weren’t what Brendon was thinking. xDD I have a feeling Cal and Caleb would get on so well, it would be dangerous! Seriously, I love Cal already, he should become my best friend, no lie. Just so I can laugh at all the stupid things he does xD
And then, all my pity for Brendon vanishes after he receives that phone call from his mother, and then just goes on to ignore it. And although I know there is something more behind him not wanting to go visit, I still feel angry at him, and it makes me feel like he thinks he’s too rock-star-famous to go and visit his folks. And that is awesome! I am so impressed with how you have written Brendon, you’ve given him actual flaws that make him realistic and like every other human on the planet! And although they make me like him less, they make him more real to me, not just another faceless character with no personality.
Like I have been saying the whole time, and using the word ‘love’ too often, this story is just full blown amazing. I love the plotline, it may seem slightly cliché, it really isn’t because you have put your own unique twist on everything to make it completely original. You have made a fabulous start on introducing the characters, and giving them real potential to be the kind of characters that say with you are the story is finish, and get your audience so caught up in their lives, you begin to believe they exist. And like I always say, you’re writing style is amazing, and I wish I could give you some sort of feedback, but you haven’t put a foot out of line, my dear, and you deserve all the praise in the world because this is amazing, and I can’t wait to see what happens next! (:
October 12th, 2009 at 08:20am
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Now sit back, and enjoy as I ramble on for the next five or so minutes of your life... ^_^ HEY SHUT UP. IT’S GOOD RAMBLES THOUGH, OKAY? OKAY. AHEM.
Okay, let me start by say, OH MY GOSH THE LAYOUT IS B-E-A-UTIFUL! The banner deserves credit, it is so gorgeous, and so... I don’t know the words to say, but the floral-ness is just so welcoming and comforting for some reason. And the layout colours are also extremely appropriate because they are warm, yet mellow colours, and from what you have told me already and from the looks of the girl in the banner and the introduction to Aurora in the first chapter, it just seems to define her personality. So well done on that!
Life is great until you lose yourself. This, this right here. Oh lordy, it is amazing. I love how this pretty much foreshadows the how story, which is its intention, yet it just draws you in. You have to know what comes next, you can’t just read that and walk away. It’s so captivating, I’m not kidding, and also, extremely true.
"Dude, you are going into this bar and if you don't get laid tonight I am actually going to shoot myself. You are impossible to live with you know that right?" xDD Not only is this hilariously funny, it also gives us our first insight on what Cal is like, and let me tell you, I like it! He seems so funny and carefree, which is great, because it gives me a huge contrast to how Brendon is. I also love love love their relationship, it’s cool how they can just joke around with each other, and even though Brendon is so uptight, Cal still accepts him and Brendon sort of loosens up around him.
It was a curse really. Being a familiar face stripped away every ounce of dignity from the person you used to be until when you looked in the mirror you no longer recognized the face you made for yourself. –dies- Beautiful. Absolutely stunningly beautiful. I believe this is exactly what goes through the heads of every celebrity stuck in the glare of paparazzi. And this is also amazing, because it shows just how well you can get into the heads of your character, so again, well done on that! (:
Although I really want to, I’m not going to quote Brendon and Aurora’s first meeting, because you don’t need to be retold your whole story, but I have to say, I absolutely adore Aurora! She’s just so care-free, happy, and warm. And when I say warm, it’s like she would take anyone under her wing because she just seems so caring and loving. And I just love how they talk to each other, almost with a flirty undertone but with good intentions. I think it’s just adorable, and I cannot wait to see them interact further in!
"What's your name Tall Dark and Lonely?"
"Brendon. What's yours Small Blonde and Lively?"
"Aurora."
"That's nice."
"Thanks, you are too." ASHFAFDASLVNFJGHADIJALDAJBGMADNGA. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH CUTENESS? BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING THE RIGHT WAY ABOUT IT!
I loved how you wrote the introduction scene for the second chapter, just the way all the words fit together, and it’s just perfect. I start to feel sorry for Brendon and his sleepless nights, because he just sounds so sorry for himself, and so hopeless.
OMG CAL. He is the man, I kid you not. I was pissing myself when he started talking about the noises he made, and they weren’t what Brendon was thinking. xDD I have a feeling Cal and Caleb would get on so well, it would be dangerous! Seriously, I love Cal already, he should become my best friend, no lie. Just so I can laugh at all the stupid things he does xD
And then, all my pity for Brendon vanishes after he receives that phone call from his mother, and then just goes on to ignore it. And although I know there is something more behind him not wanting to go visit, I still feel angry at him, and it makes me feel like he thinks he’s too rock-star-famous to go and visit his folks. And that is awesome! I am so impressed with how you have written Brendon, you’ve given him actual flaws that make him realistic and like every other human on the planet! And although they make me like him less, they make him more real to me, not just another faceless character with no personality.
Like I have been saying the whole time, and using the word ‘love’ too often, this story is just full blown amazing. I love the plotline, it may seem slightly cliché, it really isn’t because you have put your own unique twist on everything to make it completely original. You have made a fabulous start on introducing the characters, and giving them real potential to be the kind of characters that say with you are the story is finish, and get your audience so caught up in their lives, you begin to believe they exist. And like I always say, you’re writing style is amazing, and I wish I could give you some sort of feedback, but you haven’t put a foot out of line, my dear, and you deserve all the praise in the world because this is amazing, and I can’t wait to see what happens next! (: