Uhhhh wow. Very weird, but well written.
March 14th, 2010 at 11:22pm
Now, let me start with the review.
Firs off… I kinda dig the background image and the fonts you used; they immediately set the mood for a story and prepares me for some creepy narrative :tehe:
Now, let me continue with the feeling of the story.
If you watch the same people coming in and out of your life everyday, you can begin to learn their traits and quirks, even begin to know them.
The introduction line is very clever and it hooked me up immediately :tehe: It seems like we have a stalker on our hands.
But my children, oh I do, and I know all your dirty little secrets, and the world is about to learn them.
This line right here has to be my very favorite one from the narration… It connects the narrator with the readers and gives this feeling as if the Librarian is telling the reader directly the story.
I pretended to be busy and stacked a couple of books behind me, their footsteps were loud on the old floorboards, pretty much everything in this place was either old or antique, my grandmother originally owned it, and in her time that stuff actually looked good.
This bit could be in another paragraph; it sort of works better with the flow of the story.
I restacked the books twice before he came in: It was Lynchy, I could never remember his real name so I called him that.
Oh, the librarian knows the clients :tehe: I really like your character; it makes me think that you’ve worked with it very in deep and the reactions seem so vivid.
19th Century Tortures, I gave him a look, I’m not sure what look exactly, but he sure as hell knew I gave him it.
Is this a real book? Because it seems sort of an interesting book to read :tehe: This man seems like he could be a serial killer :XD You pretty much gave him the traits of an antisocial… which is awesome because you don’t state anything like that in the story, but his personality and the way he carries himself around, and the fact that he wants to read that book, makes me immediately pull out my very limited knowledge of an antisocial personality and… he fits in it.
You won’t believe the next part, but I swear I saw some rope in there, and maybe even a knife too.
I knew it!
Thanks, Sam, for not letting me down with my speculations about this particular character :D Oh, and I love the reactions of the librarian :XD All spaced out and not sure how to react, very realistic.Every person that has ever walked in here, I create a fantasy story for them - lives even, mostly for my own humour rather than anything else. These stories are not fairytales, par the ones never published, the ones unfit for children. Is it truth or imagination? Even I couldn‘t answer that. Your first story is being told, pin your ears back and listen. . .
:cheese:
How dare you make me think?! I completely love the fact that you made me doubt about all that I’ve read in the past paragraphs :XD This last paragraph is just genious, because we’ll never know if what the librarian saw was real or just another fantasy.
Your descriptions were very vivid, and I like it very much; also, your character is just :cheese: I love the personality and how realistic this librarian seems to be.
Awesome job, Sam!