Take me instead has a clear view of my given task "Pandemic or disease", it generates a feeling of so much want, I didn't want, to leave in the middle of it. It drew me in. Very creative and sudden to use the ghosts and the grim reaper, [or death], however, those famous, and most used "icons", such as ghosts [and death] are not what [fully] creates sadness. More feelings needed to be added to their story, although the description and the flow was great, more feeling would have kicked the few drips of eye liquid down the mountain that was my face. A few mistakes need be addressed, it seemed the author had trouble with a few past tense, or adding ,ed, to the end of a verb, such as "dash". In the story the author said something like "I dash over quickly and supported her" where she/he should have used dashed over quickly and supported her. There were more than one of these similar mistakes in the one-shot. The author is a great writer, some of their writing style had me amused while reading, and some words I had to look up to draw the meaning of them in the sentence. If you followed through with more feeling you would have been the top, of the people who have great chances in winning. [but do not loose hope you still have great chance in winning]
October 8th, 2009 at 01:05am