The Crescent Hotel - Comments

  • Chapter One:
    First off, I love how the story begins right when they are checking into the Hotel. One alternative could have been starting at their car ride to The Crescent Hotel. Then maybe you could have added everyone's feelings about staying at a haunted hotel and we could know more about each individual's personality. Are they scared easily? Do they think ghosts are interesting? The way you started out was completely fine, though. :]
    I also love little Hanna already. It's very realistic of her to want to go on the Ghost Tour. As crazy as it seems, many little kids are very interested in the supernatural because they don't know what they are getting into. And Hanna reminds me of me a little bit when I was younger. I can't really explain it, she just does, and maybe that could be why she really catches my interest already.
    Also, I'm very excited to see what Micheal does in the next couple of Chapters. I'm hoping he will try and interact with Hanna a lot, seeing how ghosts are usually attracted to the youngsters.
    You have a very unique writing style and I really like it. You describe in good detail and you easily catch a reader's attention. :]

    Chapter Two:
    “We’ll, I guess we’ll move along, then. Come along.” Just a mini typo here. I believe you meant to say Well, I guess we'll love along, then. You just accidentally added an apostrophe. (:
    In Chapter One, I was very excited about the Ghost Tour. And I'm pleased to say I wasn't disappointed. The ending paragraph and what made me get chills. At first, I wasn't too sure because nothing was happening. I was hoping I wouldn't be disappointed, and then came that ending paragraph and I was sure surprised. (:
    One thing that has me wondering is the pictures. I'm anxious to see if they caught anything on film. (:

    Chapter Three:
    This was very, very realistic. In many, previous ghost stories I have read, every five seconds, something happens. In this particular story, however, only a couple things happen, which is good. You easily set the mood as frightened by Hanna's and Clare's reactions to their experiences. One thing that I wished would have happened, however, was that Michael would have targeted one specific person. However, since he didn't show up constantly, it makes sense for him to not target only one.
    Throughout the chapter, I was hoping that you would say something about the photos. While they were taking photos, it really interested me into what would turn up in them. I was pleased and pleasantly surprised when Will looked through them at the end of the chapter. I thought it was very clever to add the photos in the story at all. It added nicely. (:

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    Mibba rarely has ghost stories, which is rather sad because I love ghost stories. This particular story was very, very brilliant. I love how you looked up information on the hotel, used real people from the hotel, and used real experiences from others. That was very clever of you and I give you kudos for doing so. (:
    December 27th, 2009 at 08:07pm
  • I have yet to begin reading this story, but I totally will when I get a chance.
    December 5th, 2009 at 02:54pm
  • You are my hero! I absolutely love ghost stories, but they're so hard to find on Mibba. This is perfect for Halloween. :)

    This may be a bit of a silly question, but is this a chaptered story? Just out of curiosity.

    Also, thank you for the link. I'm definitely going to read up on this hotel. Keep it up!
    October 9th, 2009 at 05:14am