I'll Be - Comments

this was never finished. boo, you whore.

Your first Panic! fic?
I would have never guess. Oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck.
You captured the solomness of the scene perfectly. The complete and utter anguish tearing at Ryan was portrayed not too soppy, but still enough to jerk a tear or two.

...; red rimmed eyes for a man someone else lost, his full mouth frowning in sadness and worry, and his gloved hands, clutching an umbrella. Same old presence, same old Brendon. - Shit. Your description blew me away. It showed another side to Brendon that we don't usually see, he wasn't hyper or making light of the situation, he was generally sad for Ryan, and he truly wanted to be there for him. Their "best friend" relationship seems to pure and so beautiful.

... forever his voice. Cliche' as I sound, I love storys where Brendon is Ryan's voice - it makes Ryan seem so vulnerable, so, imperfect.

Right now I want to fucking kill Brendon for hurting Ryan like that.

Other than that, I think it was fucking excellent.
And sorry I can't think of another adjective other than "fucking" :tehe:

Isa, this is amazing. Like Fish Camp said, I haven't read a P!ATD fic like this. It's just got so much emotion in it. The relationship between the two boys is just so beautiful. You capture it, in 2 chapters no less, perfectly.

You have your own type of writing style, where I could instantly know it's you. And that's a good thing because your an amazing writer. But what I mean is, you describe things and characters emotions in a way that only I've seen you do. And it's brillant, because you've got this way of making a reader just fall in love with your stories instantly. Fall in love with the plot, and the characters.

His sobs were silent and his tears mute as he wept, and it was Brendon who cried out loud, for the both of hem. Always the voice, his voice.

I love this line. You show Brendon, and Ryan, in a state of weakness but still Brendon is there for him; the strong one. It shows how deep their friendship is, how it's more than just friendship, and how much they rely on one another.

His gaze fell gently upon that of the sleeping boy next to him; those closed deep-set eyes, that angular button nose, those cheekbones and a jaw line that could cause a paper cut, and those lovely expressive lips. It should have been illegal to have such a perfect face, he couldn’t help but muse.

Your descriptions take my breath away. Perfect, I could visualize so well, and it kinda has that poetic fell to it. The way you descibe his features is just so unique and you relate them to things that just make the reader fall in love with your work, fall in love with the story and the writer it's self :tehe: Your stories reach out to people; make them actually feel, beause your writing isn't just writing. It's so much more than that. I think writing is a portal to the soul. However cheesy that sounds.

I feel horrible for Ryan, he was ready to say I love you back, and Brendon has to say he doesn't remember. Brendon should have kept his mouth shut. It was heart breaking to see Ryan so upset, because he knows he loves Brendon and now he thinks what Brendon said was all because of the alcohol. But we all know that aint true.

You can make a vague telling of a sex scene still be so fucking sexy. He's just thinking back on what happen last night, but it's not just "We did this, this and this". You describe it, tell it, make it real; more than just a memory.

He vaguely wondered if it was that phrase dripping from those lips that made him come at the end.

This is my favorite line of all time. It's like just an after thought, Ryan wondering if it really was what brang him over that edge, but still its just...I don't know. I just love those simple things that make a story. And this was simple, but more than simple, because it's romantic, sexy and just worded so right.

Mistake, Ryan’s mind yelled. Mistake. He couldn’t tell if his consciousness was referring to last night, or this moment. Maybe it was both.

You end chapters so well. You leave the reader feeling sorry for Ryan, and a little for Brendon as well (or maybe only I am...), and also you make them think about what's going to happen next. How are they going to get out of this mess.

It's amazing, I would never have guessed that it was your first P!ATD fic. Your writing, as always, was perfect. I found no mistakes. And I'm definitely subscribing.

For the Story/Review thread :)

Well done, Isa!

I don't really read P!@TD fics but this one was great :D
I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but your descriptions and the flow of your writing is perfect, and i couldn't really point out anything wrong with it.
Although the whole 'unrequited love between band members' thing is a tad cliche, you dealt with it superbly, and having the first chapter deal with Ryan's father's funeral removed it even further from the realms of cliche.
The first two chapters seem kind of unconnected, which is great because it makes me eager to know where the story will go next.

I could pretty much quote the whole thing, but that would be a tad pointless :XD
So here we go anyway :mrgreen:

He stared defiantly at the casket being lowered into the ground, as if challenging the man that lay inside it to open the lid and reprimand him for being rude. But it could never happen, because the man was his father, and his father was dead.

The last part of that was so simple and blunt, yet got the point across so perfectly.

Sparkling russet eyes fluttered open and the countdown reached zero.

I loved that line. I had to reread it to understand what you meant by it at first :XD but by gosh, i could just feel the tension in the moment, the realisation that for Ryan it was now or never.

The whole thing was excellent, and i can't wait for more :mrgreen:

-

I thought i'd post the same review i put in that thread over here, i hope that's what i'm meant to do...
So yes, anyway, i just thought i'd say that you're pretty much fantastic!

Oh my god wifey.

ILY ILY ILY.

I've NEVER read PATD fic like this.

It's like...amazing.

Do I take a hint of your brotherly love type stories leaking through?

ILY SOOOO Much for this.

I promise to leave another, better review lately, but I have NO time here and I wanted to start the thread!