Jealousy. - Comments

I really liked it. It really described the feeling of jealousy accurately.

i love the choices of words you chose to use.

That is really good! My only objection is shortness.

Okay, so I'm a horrible reviewer in that I can't really think through what I've read intelligently enough to say what I think of it. But I'll do the best I can, because I can't not comment this, I can't just pass it by.

So, I will admit that without the title, I probably never would have guessed what is being described. That is not to say that it isn't pretty much outlined through the drabble, or that it isn't very clear and precise...but that I really don't catch the very obvious things. So disregard that I'm too dim to recognize jealousy when I see it. Anyways...

I love the words you use to describe the actions, words like winds, crawling, squeezes, and seeps. They're so powerful, some displaying the repulsing nature of the feelings, some showing its fluidity. They really give the reader great, if unpleasant, pictures, and also feelings. Like, we can imagine it happening, the feeling spreading, and it gives the reader tingles. You know?

I absolutely adore the way you described jealousy, almost like a riddle, not coming out and saying what it is, but mysteriously giving little hints and clues here and there for the reader to figure it out. "The slimy color pigments..." is fucking perfect. I love how you don't even use the word green, or any color word at all really, but the effect is so much more powerful than going out there and saying it. I've never seen something like that before. It's really interesting and unique. Also, "the incurable venom" is great. That, combined with the use of words like slimy and the action of "squeezing" really give the picture of a snake, and though it's still related to the color green, it really seems to show the sinful side of the snake and what the serpent brings to mind. It makes the feeling of jealousy that much more repulsive, as with all of the other vile language in it. I also really love how the jealousy is seeping, pouring, filling. There's just something about the use of those specific actions that really adds to the picture, to the emotion. It's incredible.

Your word choice, really, is just key, it's flawless, and it brings so much to the reader's mind, allowing the reader to make the connections themselves. I love when stories do that, make the reader think and give little hints instead of spelling it out word for word. It's so much more interesting to read, so much more beautiful.

It's just really incredible writing and imagery. Short as it is, it accomplishes so much in those one hundred words. I absolutely love it.

[Shitty review, I know. Hope you at least get the gist of it. ]