Insanity in the Fifth Period Massacre - Comments

wow! Sorry, I had to read this since it was for a contest. hehe. It was fuckin amazing. It kinda makes you think bout what some kids can do to other kids and how it can fuck them up like none other. ya know?

Hiya.

So first off, I like the layout, the only problem is sometimes the words are a bit unreadable. But that’s not what the contest is about, sorry. Anyway.

“Arcanus City is a dangerous place to live. Even more dangerous when you’ve driven a young man to psychosis.” Nice.

“Daddy was never there, he was always at his mistress’ and Mummy never cared”
Awww, I feel bad for Frankie. Incidentally, have you ever heard the song Jeremy by Peral Jam? That part reminds me of the line “Daddy didn’t give attention to the fact that mommy didn’t care”.

“He went to his Dad’s closet and picked up a .45.” CAUGHT YOU!!! LYRIC INSERTION! Haha, not required, but good job.

“like Dracula’s venom in a beautiful virgin girl” Psh, like Frank is really a virgin. Haha, sorry. Good line though.

“About half the school started to recite, “Faggot, Faggot, Faggot...” ”
‘I’ve been denided all the best, ultra-sex.’ (Faggot by MSI)

“He continued to walk away from the school. Blood was on his hands and he smiled so true and perfect. Blood becomes stale after awhile. The walk home took awhile. In the lounge his mother was drunk, as usual. She smelled the blood and then saw the gun.” Just, wow.

Okay, overall. I really liked this. Even if it was a td short, it was very well written. You definitely used your prompt and gave a very literal interpertation of the song, being that the song is pretty…well, straight foreward. This is very good. I like the blonde girl at the end. I almost feel bad for her. It’s very cool how you seemed to, at first, make us feel sorry for Frank because most of us on mibba, certainly myself, have been through something link the abuse Frank is put through, so we can relate to him. But near the end, especially with the blonde girl and Frank being her first crush and all, you start to think Frank is insane. Not that I don’t still feel sorry for him, but its more that he was driven towards insanity and therefore took uneeded, yet somehow needed, actions. I’m very glad you entered.

x’s and oh’s
Katie