Goodbye, My Amost Lover - Comments

I really hope you do turn this into a story. I absolutely adore it, and I love seeing my name in the summary. :)

For Story Review Game :D reviewing as I go

She sat watching him on the bleachers, watching his muscles ripple and his sweat gleam and loving it, loving him. -- I loved the opening line a LOT but I think it was a bit of a mouthful. Maybe splitting it into two sentences would make it sound a bit better?
but boys like him didn't talk to girls like Anna. -- the rule of life... ah, love how you worked this in!
Anna Steel was a faerie, a royal one and very much in love with a mortal boy. -- Woah I loved the twist. Y'know I was expecting her just to be a nerdy girl he didn't notice, but this was really unexpected! Well done :
A mortal boy who had no idea she even existed. -- I loved this line because it gave the impresion even though she was a faerie, she still couldn't get the boy of her dreams to notice her :P
She wondered through the woods -- I think you mean 'wandered' : with the 'o' it's like wonder like thinking :P
Faeries were so boring and stiff compared to humans, their longevity making them dull and cold. They all had decided they were going to live forever so why bother to live. The human outlook was refreshing, like stepping into an ice cold lake. -- this whole paragraph was exceptionally written! I loved the way you described the Faeries, it was amazing!
she heard loud, obnoxious footsteps coming towards her. -- I loved this description as well! Amazingly well written.
As a note, you'll want to double space the last few paragraphs, as the rules are quite strict on that (bleeh) and it makes it a bit easier to read as well (yay!).

I thought the ending was very mysterious and I really liked how you described it. The whole thing was amazing, and apart from those couple things I pointed out, it's pretty much a perfect peice of writing! Well done :