Behind Her Veil - Comments

I can actually somewhat relate to this. I've been anorexic/bulimic since I was ten. But that doesn't matter. For some reason, this whole doubting-marrying-George idea was amazing (:
Love it!

I love this story. The anorexia, and the doubts about marrying George, but having thoughts about Michael running through her head... Was amazing and easy to relate to. I love this one. Good work!

I’d first like to say that your layout is lovely. I like the soft tones you used in the layout. After seeing your disorder I had given you, I’m quite interested to read it. Anorexia is one of my favorite subjects to read on so I was glad that you got the subject and actually did the story.

I really do like the way you started this story. It was a good way to let the reader into the main character’s mind. I liked how you let us into her head like that. I also like how you had a character that knew about her disorder and was trying to help her but you didn’t go over the top with it. That was a really nice touch to it.

I believe the only error I found was in this sentence:
I kept my hands over his ears, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as he tried to reason with me.
If I’m not mistaken, I believe his should be my. But I do believe that was the only error I found in the whole story, and that’s very good.

I adored the twist you put on the story with her leaving Michael and, after a while, getting married to another man. That was a really nice twist you put into the story. Even though the story did end on a sad note, I still loved it. I think you did your disorder very well.

I think a lot of people, struggling with body image or not, can relate to this story. I enjoyed reading it.

This is really good.
I like how she didn't run away, but it was still, in her mind, not the right choice for her.

Grading

Use of the prompt; 2/2
Grammar/spelling; 5/5
Developed plotline; 5/5
Judges personal rating; 4/5
Layout; 4/5

Overall; 20/22
91%

This is great!

oh. my. gawd. best one-shot i've ever read, but so melancholy! D;
i feel like crying now. >:
this would make a great story :D