The Game - Comments

i am almost speechless. that was beautiful and so heartbreaking. I loved it so much and i even have that song on my ipod and i played it on repeat as i reread this over and over. The ending was perfect. Iy left me wondering wether or not her boyfriend would come to her or not and i think that if you would have gone any farther it would have ruined it.

Wow. That was very well-written. I found myself pretty damn tearful at the end.

I love the short sentences in succession you had throughout the story. It gave it this disjointed, almost emotionally dead approach, which, oddly enough, made it even more emotional. The narration had this reserved, almost dejected tone with the sentence structure and vocabulary; it added to the feeling of the lead character.

The way you established the history leading up to this point was creative as well. I'm glad you didn't write long, boring introductions for everyone. It only gave strength to the confrontation.

Although I'm dying to know what happened, I'm actually rather happy with the way you ended this as well. Open-endings, though hated by most readers, reflect reality a lot more. So congratulations; this is one of the best one shots I've read in awhile.