I'm Jaded Now - Comments

  • volta.

    volta. (1000)

    :
    Member
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    Age:
    32
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I think I can see how it relates to the soung; and it's interesting how you did it.
    I liked the concept of the story; and how it got to the point; and didn't linger on anything that wasn't important.
    Criticism; I think you may need to read through it again, slowly, and see the tense errors. In some places it works; and in others...not so much.
    But other than that, I thought it was good, you linked it to the song in a subtle way. You did well. :]
    December 12th, 2009 at 11:33pm